For as much as we tend to bag on hipsters – despite probably qualifying for entry-level hipster status – I have a great deal of respect for those valiant promoters of vintage, because they produce some events that are just delightfully random. For instance, people have been gathering every year since 2005 to honor the era of the gentleman competitor with the Chap Olympiad, which was held this past weekend in London's Bedford Square Gardens.
What exactly is the Chaps Olympiad? Well, good sir, allow the Telegraph to educate your unenlightened scoundrelesque mind before you further sully your reputation.
Chaps consider themselves a dying breed who wear horn-rimmed spectacles, listen to music on the wireless, wear smoking jackets, cravats, bow ties and give each other tips on moustache growing and getting a proper shine on leather shoes.
The concept of their games is to pay tribute to a time gone by and make a stand against vulgarity, to celebrate the "gentleman" and the "dandy" and take part in some rather eccentric games.
Sure, I saw the word “dandy”, rolled my eyes, and groaned, because I prefer my sports to be the opposite of foppish, but it appears that these Chaps events are right on course with the gentleman drinker’s ultimate challenges.
The Pipeathlon: six contestants must complete a 10-yard course using three disciplines – pipe smoking, cycling and being carried by their servants across the finishing line.
Gentlemen’s Golf Club: contestants must hit a bowler hat into a large fishing net using a walking stick.
Swooning: one for the ladies. Chaps have to induce the ladies to swoon through any means possible.
Butler Baiting: teams of two (master and butler) must assemble a wardrobe impressive enough to satisfy the butler, by running back and forth between their master and a suitcase full of clothing.
Not Playing Tennis: contestants seated in armchairs play a game of tennis without getting up. The tennis ball is suspended on a wire hung between two hat stands. (Via)
They also compete in umbrella jousting atop old-timey bicycles, so there’s at least a good chance that someone can lose an eye, and there’s a mustache wrestling competition, in which the goal is to pluck one hair from your opponent’s upper lip. If neither of those intrigues you, then there are at least slutty nurses. That should count for something.