
The 2012 MLB Home Run Derby took place last night in Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium (the one with the fountains), and if you were like most people you had a passing interest, got bored, then spent a little time on Twitter trying to make Chris Berman’s incessant “BECK BECK BECK BECK BECK” thing funny. You have have compared him to a chicken. It happens.
In the event that you didn’t have seven hours to kill watching dudes congratulate themselves, we’ve collected all the important moments MLB.com would allow us without expressed written consent … that includes a pair of monster home runs, Robinson Cano getting a reaction that made Yankees fans break out their shame fingers and a Royals fan who gets greedy and nearly ends up drowned in the fountain. It was all the fun you’d expect from a home run derby, only it took seven hours.
Up first, here’s Robinson Cano getting his feelings hurt:
The story here is that Cano didn’t pick KC slugger Billy Butler for the competition, so the Royals fans in attendance let him have it. Additional story: f**k Robinson Cano.
Anyway, the point of the home run derby is to watch guys hit crazy home runs (and to listen to ESPN go UHH!! UHHHHH!!! and make phony exasperation noises every time someone makes contact), so here are the two craziest … Mark Trumbo bouncing a ball off the roof in left field, and contest winner Prince Fielder drilling a monster 476-foot shot to the fountains in center.
Okay, phony exasperation noises might be necessary for that one.
And finally, because no modern baseball moment is complete without someone in the stands acting like a moron and almost killing themselves, here’s a Royals fan struggling to get a ball from a police officer, tumbling backwards over the railing and taking a television case with him on the way down. Handy dandy GIF form courtesy of Mock Session by way of Outside The Boxscore:

I like to think he fell over because he was booing Robinson Cano so hard.


I loved the reaction the ESPN announcers had to the crowd going all ‘If Cena Wins We Riot’ on Cano. “This was really ugly”… pfft. Dude promised to include a Royal on the team, and then he didn’t. Nothing ugly about booing that.
I prefer to think that instead of the crowd booing Cano for not including a Royal, they booed him because they hated the totality of his entire existence. It was a philosophical protest, for if this is what man has become, our creator is shit.
I wish ESPN would just recognize that it wasn’t because he didn’t pick a Royal, but that he didn’t pick a Royal after saying he would. Of course, I’m curious as to why it’s such a bad thing for Royals fans to boo Yankees now, especially since it has been happening since the 70′s.
That said, it was a blast and there’s a movement now to give him a standing-o tonight. Dunno if I will partake in that, but it’s a good showing since he took being the heel so well.
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