Usually I let Burnsy handle the Penn State sex scandal stories. He’s got a more eloquent way of saying f**k you and die forever than I do, and I mostly just get indignant about stuff that barely matters. I might not be able to write much about this, either, but I wanted to share it with you.
These are the phone messages Sandusky left for Victim 2, aka the one from the showers Mike McQueary saw and didn’t do anything about. In the first, left last September, he says that there’s “nothing to hide, really” and that feelings should be “firm” and expressed upfront. In the second, he tosses out invites to a Penn State game. Both feature Sandusky saying “I love you”.
The closest thing I can come up with for a joke here is that “I love you” and “do you want to go to a football game” were my two worst pick-up lines in high school. I’m not the type to wish an actual death on anyone. I’ll wish hyperbolic death on you all day, but I’m not gonna find any joy if Sandusky gets murdered in prison. If that happens, I’m going to feel the same way I do now — that the human brain can be the best or most f**ked up thing in the world, and that this man was impossibly sad in addition to being destructive and awful. People will still argue the value of college football record-keeping against human decency, and all we’ll really be left with is audio clips like these of a man saying “I love you” to people he raped.
I don’t know where to go with this, except far, far away.
[h/t to Bob's Blitz]


yeah….. but Joe Pa, millions going “bankrupt”, um…. no… fuck Penn State.
Hope he enjoys the “rhythmic slap, slap, slapping sounds” he’s gonna get
Nothing says “rape is a terrible crime” like saying someone should get raped!!
yeah, that comment is awful and has basically nothing to do with what I wrote
I never said rape….
I am starting to wonder which family is more upsettingly delusional. The Sanduskys for claiming its all a misunderstanding, or the Paternos for claiming Joe had no idea.
“Hey, yeah I want to do terrible things to you, so uhhhh, so get back to me and let me know when I can do those things. You know, in and on you. I love you.”
This man and this organization is sick and as many have stated before every fine, penalty, and outcomes of this disgusting and vile act. Who cares about their program, some people actually do care and DEFEND them and this program. I don’t care who you are, what you’ve done in the world of sports, that doesn’t make you “god” and untouchable. If you’re going to do what these men have done you are lower than dirt, you’re a piece of shit who deserves everything bad that’s going to come from such careless and horrid atrocities. I’m glad the program has been pretty much crippled, they deserve it.
Eww. Just, eww.
I feel funny saying this because I don’t believe in god or gods, but I kinda hope there is a god and that god makes this prick suffer for a long goddamn time. Of course, the fact that this sort of thing happened at all is the greatest argument I can think of against the existence of deities.
I think the most appropriate comment/joke for this kind of story is none at all.