Vince McMahon sings Stand Back! (Original video) by natyhbk1
Or, “I love it when you show up to save our ratings, pop.”
According to GrapzNewz.com, there are two different scripts floating around for tonight’s Raw — one that is “McMahon Heavy” and one that isn’t, and which one they use will depend on what happens with poor Alberto Del Rio and his concussion. Apparently WWE went on tour this weekend and hurt everybody, so ADR is down, R-Truth has a broken foot, Sheamus ruptured an ovary and Sin Cara Rojo is stricken with gout. So tonight on a very special three-hour edition of Raw SuperShow, Vince McMahon and John Laurinaitis spend 180 minutes evaluating job performances and Cena spends 8 minutes of overrun making poopy face while he holds David Otunga in the STF. If it turns out better than what I’ve described, I’m calling it a win.
John Cena and Big Show haven’t been in the same arena since Show decked Cena with a WMD three weeks ago. With their Steel Cage Match looming large at No Way Out, can these rivals restrain themselves when they’re finally within striking distance of each other? More importantly, do they even want to restrain themselves?
More importantly, can Show pick up the entire cage and beat Cena to death with it?
As always, my 10 favorite comments from tonight’s Open Discussion Thread (invite your friends, jerks! We need some new people getting +1′d) will be featured in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column. To nominate a comment for top 10 status, reply to it with a +1. Or use the rec system. I have no idea how commenting works!
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/emma-dence-nxt-180x170.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/impact-wrestling-scratch-off-game-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wwe-raw-app-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/kevin-jonas-wwe-raw-180x180.png)
Cena and Ryder should form the tag team BBH (Broskies before Hoeskies), and just Shock-O-Face everyone in the locker room. I would actually enjoy that.
I, personally, want to put this raw in a sack, and toss the sack in a river, and hurl the river into space. But I do love looking through this thread in the morning, so I love you all for that.
Kane tags with Bryan once and he absorbs his diva pimp powers.
Okay…the only thing that could possibly make any sense is to have Big Show defeat John Cena at No Way Out and then have the big build for the next PPV be Ryback vs. Show. At the rate that Ryback is demolishing jobbers they’ve really got to consider how they’re going to pay off his super-Goldberg schtick. And in order to do that you need the ultimate enemy: a truly unstoppable Big Show. Want to really put Ryback way way over? Have him go head-to-head with the Big Show fresh off of giving John Cena the beating we all want him to take.
I’m a little fuzzy on my WCW memories, but isn’t the “too much too soon” thing one of the reasons some people hated Goldberg? I mean, if Ryback goes from beating two 90-pound nobodies at a time to beating the Big Show… then what? Ryback pretty much can’t lose to anyone but John Cena after that. And once he does, his career is as finished as Goldberg’s is now.
That’s why I hate the unbeatable monster gimmick, face *or* heel. They can only be booked that way for so long. And when it’s over… you better hope the “monster” has some personality, or there’s nothing left to care about.
(Sorry if this posts twice. I got an error, and it said ‘try again.’)
I’m a little fuzzy on my WCW memories, but isn’t the “too much too soon” thing one of the reasons some people hated Goldberg? I mean, if Ryback goes from beating two 90-pound nobodies at a time to beating the Big Show… then what? Ryback pretty much can’t lose to anyone but John Cena after that. And once he does, his career is as finished as Goldberg’s is now.
That’s why I hate the unbeatable monster gimmick, face *or* heel. They can only be booked that way for so long. And when it’s over… you better hope the “monster” has some personality, or there’s nothing left to care about.
@GultarzanWSC
I hear you. I don’t think that Ryback should go from killing jobbers to directly beating Big Show, though. I mean, ideally, they would transition to having Ryback killing mid-card guys for the next month before he faces off against Big Show. But you are right, and I was getting at that with the super-Goldberg jab, there’s only so many places you can go with the “unbeatable / unstoppable” angle before it’s boring. And, in my honest opinion, Ryback completely demolishing local jobbers is already incredibly boring.
Seriously, I just re-watched vader. Watch him get up. It’s so sad.
He’s older and fatter now, but not less awesome. Vader’s the white Abdullah the Butcher for me. I don’t care how out of shape he is, I’m always entertained.
Do we know why Big Johnny apparently “banned” Brodus Clay from RAW, or did they just make that up on the spot?
To protect him from Show, or something.
Because some intelligent writer realized that Vince wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation to fill time on a 3-hour Raw with a Clay-hosted dance party every week, featuring the likes of Michael Cole, Santino, and maybe Hunico for some reason. So it’s in everyone’s best interests that Clay is on Smackdown.
Great moment was Show and Cena’s faces after Vince was KO’d.
Show: Oh my god. Get mom!
Cena: Mom! Mom! Mom!
I really would love to see some kind of mashup of Daniel Bryan bursting through a brick wall with his new catchphrase. AAAAAAWWWW YEAAAHHH!
AJ kissing Kane! Now im convinced wwe is actually trolling Brandon personally
Big Show: “If you fire me, you’ll have to pay me millions of dollars. for many years, for doing absolutely nothing!” Kevin Nash just perked up from his Just-for-Men touch of grey slumber.
+1
Would the World Championship belt hinder Dolphs’ ability to asscape?
I’m sure he’d re-engineer it as some sort of golden asscape.
I missed this earlier, but Eve used the term “meddling reporters.”
I LOVE THIS WOMAN
that show was soooo much fun to be at!
i can only imagine the kind of shenanigans that went on in here.
dark match- cena v. johnny, otunga, show. hey… guess who won?
I enjoyed bein there too! How were your seats? I was in the upper section where the camera faces
I think the real reason Vinnie came back was to announce himself as the new spokesperson for Just For Men.
Rewatching that, I love how D-Bry is visibly trying not to laugh while being called goat face.
I know we’re all supposed to hate that “goat face” thing, since Punk is acting all Dwane-ish and calling people names; but if it made Bryan laugh, it’s good enough for me.
Apparently it’s time for a little GoatFace Killa.
GOATFACE! Oh god, we’re laughing so hard over here. :D
Uh, I didn’t think that Cena segment was that bad. He came out and tried to damage the giant’s confidence without resorting to doo-doo and pee-pee humor.
Time to introduce MrBookSavvy to the Vader episode of Boy Meets World. He’s trying to call shenanigans on me. How dare he doubt my 90s sitcom knowledge.
How does he not know about that episode?!??!?
Who is he to doubt El BookSavvy?!
Or, La Book Savvy maybe. One semester of high school Spanish in my first semester of high school doesn’t stay for… jeebus, 13 1/2 years?! I’m so old. :(
LibroSavvy.
Savvy de libro?
@Alopez
liBROsavvy
I was cgoing to make a coment about how many times have we seen Johnny Ace wrestle or have a proxy wrestle for his job in the last year and how I am still confused on why Vince is back after HHH removed his authority and if Vince is back does that mean HHH has no authority… and if he has no authority is the whole Brock Lesner thing gone the way of the Laptop GM… But my brain hurts too much and i think my nose started to bleed.
Just made THESTINGER sign my WWE Magazine :)
That should be the prize for top comment of the night. Signed WWE magazine from THESTINGER.
Vince: I HAVE THIS BUSINESS!
WithLeather-ites: We have a Big Show.
+One
+One
Everyone, ask yourself: You were terrified of 3-hour Raw with Vince. Was this BETTER or WORSE than you expected? For me it was better.
Mostly better. (Making fun of JR was far worse.)
But better than my expectations was a low, low bar to clear.
The bar wasn’t exactly raised very high by previous 3 hour Raw episodes. In fact, that bar was buried 6ft deep in the ground.
Better is still better. I had the advantage of accidentally missing the JR part, though.
Way way WAY better. Of course my expectations were nonexistent after last week’s miserable failure. Whatever the measure of legit quality against my expectations being beaten into submission, I enjoyed tonight’s show for the most part. Now if they could keep it up and string some good ones together, that would kick ass.
better. multiple bryan appearances, character development (kofi), and the presidents of the united states of america showed up, but didn’t play peaches.
This was better in recent weeks. The Ziggler match made the night for me. Sheamus and Tensai didn’t do too bad either. It really is classless of Vince to continue making fun of JR’s palsy when it adds nothing to any storyline. HHH seems to like JR, so maybe one day this shit will end.
Does he have a pulse?
Where was the camera cut to Ryder’s O Face?
Did Lawler’s pizza ever show up?
Ryback ate it. Not enough jobber.
I cannot wait for No Way Out and Triple H’s discussion. I hope the TitanTron can handle PowerPoint.
I’m reserving my “BAM!! BITCH WENT DOWN!” for when Cena eats some canvas.
I’d be cool with this or John Canton’s “KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT” call.
Cena: Please take a vacation. The manatees that write your promos deserve a break!
Dont worry guys, Khali is on his way to the ring to carry Vince to the ER.
By the time Khali can get to the ring and back, Vince’ll actually be dead of natural causes.
Vince is dead again
SOMEBODY FIND PUPPET AYTCH!
I’m afraid Big Show has already punched him in his fragile, felt mouth.
Where’s Nic Cage from Snake Eyes? IT WAS A PHANTOM PUNCH!
+GarySinise
and after that shitty ending, im off…. aaaaaHHHHHHH SMOKE BOMB!!!
That punch legitimized Sonny’s beatdown of Carlo in The Godfather.
[www.youtube.com]
I can not stand Cena. He is a ruiner. His cocky ass smile, and lame jokes are just too much. How can you walk around with a “Fuck you I am still the golden boy!” attitude and call people out for being self centered? Go handle your divorce, and come back when you actually give a shit. Cena has been mailing it in for too long. End rant.
Yes. You’ve made this clear at least once every show. At this point, it’s staler than Cena.
Valid observation. Once I reach 14 years of it, please knock me out with a cool sound effect. I do try to ignore it, and let it be. I can’t help it I suppose. It no way overshadows Ziggler’s match. He is by far my favorite, and watching him get a much deserved title shot had me jumping up and down. I almost want to skip the ppv because I don’t want to ruin the moment.
Despite more delightful AJ shenanigans than usual, this 3 hour Raw was brutal.
Well, that’s all I can stand for one evening. Goodnight all! May your dreams be filled with Ziggler asscapes and AJ in street clothes.
So did they basically not resolve the plot thread they had been promoting all night? Or is Johnny’s employment status now part of the stipulation for NWO? I sort of blacked out for a second and I’m trying to stop the nosebleed at the moment.
When the crowd chants “Holy Shit” at a missed Big Show punch…we might as well just kill ourselves.
I’m sure since he came up with the Spinner Belt, Cena’s gonna start wearing a spinning bow tie for when he delivers his jokes during promos.
+1 brilliant
+1 wakka wakka
Now Show, DON”T START UP WITH ME!
THE STAKES HAVEN’T BEEN HIGHER
THE ODDS HAVEN’T BEEN WORSE
THE BURNS HAVEN’T BEEN MORE…. NOTICEABLE.
Burn Notice is gonna be awesome this season.
I appreciate that I haven’t watched since, I dunno, season 3? But I can still tune in, watch an episode, and not feel left out at all, and enjoy it immensely.
I give all credit to Bruce Campbell for that.
I just want Bruce Campbell to guest host on raw. Groovy
lolololol “security” holding up an X, let’s pretend this is legit, in under a year Big Show has injured AJ, Wade Barrett and now Vince.
He didn’t really injure AJ…
you’re right, so storyline and legit injuries involving Big Show
Man, I’ve been going about performance reviews all wrong
+HR Superstar
+1!!!!!
So will there be more Owen voice about this on Smackdown?
I really wanted Cena to scoop him up and run to the back cradling him crying.
#ThunderUp
#BeatTheHeat
I’m pretty sure that Vince is dead.
I pray for this to happen on sunday [www.youtube.com]
…Chris Benoit coming back to life?
Stop stop stop… all three of those people are already dead!
Hate when they use the X sign for storyline injuries.
Get out of here Big Show, we’ll play it off as a prank.