Last night, San Francisco Giants pitcher Matt Cain threw a perfect game. The 10-0 victory over the Houston Astros was the first perfect game in Giants franchise history and only the 22nd in Major League Baseball history. Some are calling it the greatest game ever pitched.
Cain, the longest-tenured Giant, has been through it all in his eight seasons in San Francisco. He has seen highs — a World Series title in 2010 — and lows — dozens of losses on nights when he was brilliant.
Through it all, Cain has been unflappable, but that trait never has been tested as it was Wednesday night.
“There’s really nothing like it,” said Cain, who previously had taken five no-hitters into the seventh inning and had a perfect game into the sixth inning of his second start this season.
“I was having to recheck myself to see the signs that Buster (Posey) was putting down. I was thinking about it. It felt like it was the World Series, but it almost felt a little louder.” (via Mercury News)
Cain’s special night is the feature of today’s Dugout, after the jump.
The Dugout
** Online Host ** | ||
 | TimTheEnchanter: /takes bong rip /tries to use Disarm shout on Draugr Death Overlord but it doesn’t work, totally gives up and just lets Draugr Death Overlord kill him | |
 | ThatsGottaBeCain: so uh | |
| TimTheEnchanter: /stuffs entire 99-cent bag of barbecue Fritos into mouth, bag included | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: you almost at a save point? We need you to win a baseball game with pitching | |
| TimTheEnchanter: almost /saved literally five seconds ago and is just aimlessly trying to climb a mountain by walking left and jumping | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: come on, we’re playing the Astros tonight. I need you out there wearing a jacket and holding your hands in your pockets and kinda staring off into space the entire time I pitch | |
| TimTheEnchanter: it’s the astros dude it is literally the astros | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: The Astros are a team, too! | |
| TimTheEnchanter: they are f**king not and you know it | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: what’s it gonna take for me to get you to put down the video games and Giant Up and get your shit together | |
| TimTheEnchanter: we already won the world series why’re you on my ass | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: sigh I’m gonna have to win the NL West by myself, aren’t I | |
| TimTheEnchanter: whateve /Instagrams dungeon loading screen | |
** Online Host ** | ||
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /takes deep breath | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: sigh all right, Matt, this is it. The Dodgers are in first and June’s going by fast. If we’re gonna get back to the World Series, now’s the time to hoist ourselves up by the bootstraps and make it happen. | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: you’ve secretly been the best pitcher on the team for a while, and it’s all up to you. God, if you’re up there and listening, I need this to be the best performance of my life. The very best. | |
 | TheGreatIM: k | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: Let’s see who’s up first. | |
 | ElectricSchafer: yo | |
| ElectricSchafer: yo mr. white, is that you?? | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike | |
| ElectricSchafer: /flushes weed | |
 | WheresWallace: Don’t worry, Jordan, we’ve got three periods left to play! | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike | |
| WheresWallace: /swings at ball with shoe | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike | |
| WheresWallace: /falls down /keeps rolling backwards like a log until he falls into the dugout | |
 | BillAndTedsBogusevic: Hey guys! Sorry to interrupt. This is my first time ever playing baseball! I think we’re all gonna have a great time! | |
| TheGreatIM: You probably didn’t need me for this. | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike | |
| BillAndTedsBogusevic: Say, what does THIS button do? | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: it’s a bat | |
| BillAndTedsBogusevic: /strikes out miserably | |
 | LowrieSeasonedSalt: excuse me, is this where punch and pie is being served | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: this is a baseball game? | |
| LowrieSeasonedSalt: i was led to believe there would be punch and pie it’s the only reason i showed up | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws three strikes | |
| LowrieSeasonedSalt: hey do you know when the red sox are playing | |
 | LuxuryCruzRhiner: AAH HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HEAD AHHHH | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: AAHHHH | |
| LuxuryCruzRhiner: AAAAH AAAAAAHHHH | |
| TheGreatIM: AAAAHHHHH | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /closes eyes, throws strikes | |
| TimTheEnchanter: lol the f**k is up with your tiny head dude you look like you died in beetlejuice | |
| TimTheEnchanter: like like one of the goombas from the live action, uh /wanders away | |
 | TheGuyFromAmericanIdol: Ozzie Guillen loves me! I can’t lose! CLEAR EYES STRONG HEARTS OR WHATEVER | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /strikes him out | |
| TheGuyFromAmericanIdol: fffffuuuuuuuuu | |
 | TheDevilInSnyder: /readies bat | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: I’m perfect so far. I’m totally jinxing myself, aren’t I? | |
| TheGreatIM: technically jinxes shouldn’t exist, I’ve got this Book Of Life up here that has everything you’ve ever done or will do already written in it, so while you have free will, whether or not you use it is predetermined so really if he’s gonna hit the ball that’s just the way it has to be, and | |
| TheGreatIM: nm just throw the ball | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: /just throws the ball | |
| TheDevilInSnyder: /hits ball deep into the outfield | |
| TheGreatIM: oh shi- | |
 | GotMelk: /finally has something to do | |
| GotMelk: /makes leaping catch at the wall | |
| TheGreatIM: You’re welcome. | |
| GotMelk: heh, i like to see gregor blanco try to pull off some shit like that | |
| ThatsGottaBeCain: whew, that was close so hey listen, Tim, I think I owe you an apology. You were right. The Astros are the worst. Just play your game in peace and I’ll destroy everybody for the rest of the season. | |
| TimTheEnchanter: what the f**k is the astros |
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I kind of missed Brian Wilson. I thought maybe we’d get a “got heem.” Regardless, great Dugout as always.
Cain’s perfect game should come with an asterisk that says “lol, it was against the astros”
HATE.
also, does this mean the end of the spring training “do all the teams” dugsout?
My schedule was kicking my ass and I was stressing about it. I’m still gonna try to hit all the teams, just not at the expense of other stories.
Hey, no problems. It’s not like the Braves have anything to actually write about.
Nothing other than Johnny Venters’ implosion vs. the Yankees Tuesday night.
Related: sigh.
Hey, Braves, stop going on losing streaks! I like the winning streaks, do more of that, but just lose like one or two, then win another five in a row, please?
I don’t know if there’s anything behind the Rhiner Cruz/small head joke, but just the imagery of it had me rolling.
That’s his actual player photo. For some reason, every 7th or 8th player had their picture taken from a weird angle that gave them Beetlejuice head. No fucking idea.
“ThatsGottaBeCain”, *Slow Clap*
As soon as I heard about the perfect game and every time I’ve heard about it since, my brain immediately puts up the mental image of HappyHanstockWrestleMania.gif. And that makes it awesome.
Ouch, dude. Ouch.
This was fantastic. But still, fuck.
Basically, this.
Wait, B’s a compatibilist?
WOOO MATT FUCKING CAIN WOOOOOOOOOOOO GO IGANTS WOOOOO HURRDERR DERR CAINASAURUS
BillAndTedsBogusevic. That’s tough to top.
who WOULDN’T show up for punch and pie?
C’mon Hanstock! You know you wanna post!
Hilarious update: Aubrey Huff blew out his knee whilst eating shit/jumping the dugout rail.
Might have to hit the DL.
This “Brett Wallace” looks like a scary dude.
Good thing AJ didn’t walk down the ramp in the 9th or else Cain would have totally been distracted.
Matt Cain loves crazy chicks.
Dee Dee you stoopid girl!
I dropped Brett Myers from my Fantasy Team after I read “it is literally the Astros”. I have a closer for a team that doesn’t win and this is why I lose. That, and Troy Tulowitzki is impersonating Mark Prior this year.