I don't know what it is about fame that makes people think they can be musicians. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian made sex tapes to become famous, and then to maintain their celebrity statuses they decided to become pop singers. Plenty of actors have done it - Keanu Reeves, Gary Sinise, Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, to name a few - and God knows there are quite a few athletes who think they're regular Scott Stapps. I'm no Darren Rovell, but I'm willing to guess that 99% of them have failed.
But for some mind-bending, unknown reason, becoming a music star has always been a favorite hobby of professional wrestlers and every single one of them that has tried it has been terrible. Sure, that's personal opinion, but I'd love to know who I'm overlooking. In the meantime, I'm sure that I've overlooked plenty of the most terrible singing wrestlers, but I could only handle 15 videos in the YouTube wormhole before I was screaming in agony.
Witness the horror for yourselves and feel free to add your least favorite songs in the comments.
(Banner via Flickr/Johnny Treehouse)
With the Wrestling Boot Band, of course.
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Double J’s song was a work! c’mon now.
Plus, as we all know, it was really The Roadie singing it the whole time.
Rowdy Roddy Piper could do no wrong.
Agreed.
Does Bob Sapp count? Because he was pretty big in Japan. I mean, not because of any talent or whatever, but still.
Just as long as no one mentions “Sexy Boy” (both the HBK and Sherri versions), we’re cool.
Sherri version > HBK version
Grab. Them. Cakes. That is all.
Okay, I lied: Rev. Slick’s “Jive Soul Bro”, too.
Dear Burnsy, you are very, very wrong about Cena being on the list. His album in ’04 was a lot of fun. Was it as good as the Chronic? Of course not. It wasnt supposed to be. But it was a fun album.
You are slightly wrong about Fozzy as they have some pretty good songs. Also, the Road Dogg sang Jeff’s Jarett’s “Baby tonight,” which kind of was catchy.
And you should be punished by not including The Rock’s “It doesn’t matter” feat Wyclef Jean by listening to “It doesn’t matter” on loop twice. Any more plays than that and the UN would be screaming torture.
uhh, #5 dude.
Oh shit. I skipped over it. And when I checked to see #5, I skipped over accidentally again, Stupid sensitive mouse. My bad.
TATANKA! BUFFALO!
I totally owned the original Wrestling Album. On cassette…
For those of you who keep throwing out the “Road Dogg sang it!” info, he clearly includes “/The Roadie” in the title of the slide. Same guy.
EAT ‘EM UP! (EAT ‘EM UP!)
ALL THE SNACKS! (ALL THE SNACKS!)
I actually thought Cena was surprisingly sufficient as a rapper. Not good by any means, but not bad enough to end up on this list.
/John Cena gay
Cena as a rapper was a lot like Cena as a wrestler. Absolutely corny, but not… BAD.
I’m not sure I completely understand the message behind Piledriver.
The Wrestling Album is tons of fun and should not be disparaged. Koko B. Ware flexes his golden pipes on “Pile Driver” and “If You Only Knew”. Fun, fun songs, so horribly fun in their 80′s-esque awfulness.
Nope, The Wrestling Album was the first WWF record. The group song was Land of 1,000 Dances, and it included cuts by Nikolai Volkov and Junk Yard Dog. The second one, which I think was called Piledriver, had the songs you mentioned on it.
I’ll murder your face for including Wimpbusters.
/sorry for the overreaction.
To join in the cacophony:
Gene Okerlund: Tutti Frutti
*scratches temple…* henh. Continued: …not as bad/good as “Rock ‘n’ Roll Hoochie Coo” WITH Derringer; and Hogan slappin’ a bass in the video like he’s people! And, no “Baddstreet”? C’mon, now.
Of course wrestlers suck as musicians and actors and, well, humans.
But there’s something in your intro I must contest: Billy Bob Thornton’s band The Boxmasters has had at least one outstanding musical moment. “That’s Why Tammy Has My Car” is one of the funniest alt-country songs you’ll ever hear.
“With My Baby Tonight” is phenomenal and I played Full Metal so often as a kid that I can still sing the entire thing word for word.
turn the lights off, bolt the doooooooor… yes, yes it is phenomenal.
No Vince McMahon “Stand Back”? I know it wasn’t on an album, but it got featured big time back when he performed it. That may be worse.
You have made a grievous error. RECONCILE THAT SHIT and re-write this list to include the melodic and lyrical gold which has sprung forth from Kamala The Ugandan Giant’s star belly! [www.youtube.com]
may i also present – [www.youtube.com]
AHEM. “Badstreet”. This is the correct answer to wrestlers as musicians. [www.youtube.com]
As a positive, right?
Of course as a positive. Badstreet is awesome.
I totally own the Wrestling Album.
I will defend Macho Man’s “Perfect Friend” until the day I did.
Anything sung by Koko B. Ware is automatically the best thing musically that wrestling has ever done. That and Put a Little Ass on It.
Macho was going to kick Hogan in the butt and wash his mouth out with soap.
Jericho doesn’t deserve to be on this list. He’s actually got some talent.
John Cena is not a bad rapper in a sort of old school Marky Mark and the Fun Bunch kind of way. That really is not a dis because I prefer my rap to be less serious and more positive and fun.
The theme of many of these wrestlers turned singers or music artist is that it is mostly cheesy fun and is not meant to taken as serious performance artistry. It is fun promotion and nothing more.
For the wrestlers who do take the music craft seriously lets just say that there is too much studio magic and not enough of what we should hear. Real talent. Of coarse for the past 30+ years one could say that about most performers. A few exceptions can be noted.
I still kind of wish Macho Man and DMX had put out a track together.
FOZZY RULES!!!! WHY ON EARTH would you include them in a reason NOT to record??? They are legitimate recording band, they sell out venues and perform at some of the biggest festivals. The others, yeah I can understand, but NOT JERICHO….he does NOT belong on this list at ALL!!!! FOZZY IS FROOT!!!