
Pre-show notes:
- Please make sure to leave a comment on the report. Facebook likes and Twitter shares are huge. These take forever to write, so if you want me to keep them up instead of just posting Ultimate Handball Fails videos like a normal popular sports blog should, do your part.
- Thanks to Casey of the WWE Magazine awareness-winning Hammerlock Dialectic for pics and gifs. Without your help, the column would be 100 times more difficult to read.
- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.
Anyway, going to get right to it. Please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for May 28, 2012. Memorial Day. The Troops!
Continue Reading 'The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 5/28/12: WWE ’13 Presents Memorial Day' »
NEXT ›
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 TAGS: AJ LEE, ALBERTO DEL RIO, BEST AND WORST OF RAW, BIG SHOW, BRODUS CLAY, CHRISTIAN, CM PUNK, DANIEL BRYAN, DAVID OTUNGA, DOLPH ZIGGLER, EVE TORRES, FUNKASAURUS, JOHN LAURINAITIS, KOFI KINGSTON, PRO WRESTLING, R-TRUTH, RANDY ORTON, RICARDO RODRIGUEZ, SANTINO MARELLA, SHEAMUS, THE MIZ, WWE, WWE 13, WWE NO WAY OUT


WRESTLING!!!!!!
I thought this was the Dragon Ball post!
Seriously though, the “25 best DBZ fights of all time” link at the bottom is AWESOME!
Its pretty cool because it just shows to go I have the best taste ever as I have the whole Frieza saga!
I have the Frieza Saga too…but its on VHS, they don’t fit in my DVD player! :’(
In case you missed it… here’s my pitch to be YOUR WithLeather Raw Bingo Card Daddy each week. And here are my mockup cards:
[i.imgur.com]
[i.imgur.com]
[i.imgur.com]
There would be three teams a week; they are presently named Team Johnny, Team #Asscape, and Team +Rhodes. I’d post the cards in the comments early Monday afternoon. They would be slightly varied from each other, likely having much of the same content, just scrambled differently.
First team to get five in a row… wins? For pride?
Suggestions for spaces or anything else regarding it are welcome here, or on Twitter. My handle’s on the cards.
I’m on Team Rhodes. Guaranteed wins.
I’m a little surprised that “Iron-Clad Contract” isn’t a square.
I had to save SOMETHING for the real cards. Probably a decent amount of repeats for next week.
+Rhodes to you my friend
Those are awesome.
Team Johnny, obvs
Should have been Team TeddyJohnny but I’m not mad
9. Stephanie McMahon revealing that Vince had whored her out to random businessmen when she was younger, possibly a child.
WHAT?
I second this claim. Explain yourself, Stroud. (that’s really the only one I’ve never heard of)
“Ohhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeahhhh.”
Diggin it
I can’t find a clip of it, but there was a moment backstage where Stephanie’s crying and yelling at her dad for (paraphrasing) “all those things you made me do” with people he knew when she was young. I wish I could remember it more, but it’s a real thing.
Stephanie mentioned it, but I think she was talking to Linda at the time. I think it was when she slapped her mom.
And yet, Randy Savage was blackballed from the WWE HoF.
I’m going to use “YOU FAIL AT BEING AN ADORABLE JAPANESE MAID” for years to come. It’s just such an awesome phrase.
I’m going to use this in anime club at the library and see if the teens laugh along with me without knowing why. ::evil::
That is the power and the mystique of the librarian. Well that and other things too. (Like nodding while listening to NPR because you know what’s going on.)
Oh man. “Jim Halperting the camera”. I’ve been trying forever to figure out what to call that and that’s totally it.
If I could punch one person on television, it would be Jim.
Bossman never FORCED Show to casket surf. Show did that of his own volition.
“Number two is the big one. When he walked away after the match I thought he was making a clean break so he could officially, finally Super No Vacancy become an upper-echelon WWE guy. He’s got the talent to make that happen, he’s good enough on the microphone to make it on his own and he’s never going to be a thing if he stays attached to the hip of a manager 80 times more over than him. Give your Hunicos and Camachos to Vickie (not racist) so they can benefit. Ziggler’s gone as far as he can go here, and it hasn’t been very far.”
I think you may have met Number 3.
Even the worsts in this write-up made me smile, that’s how much fun I had last night with the gang here.
I think that was me and my like seven comments.
This was honestly one of the best write-ups I’ve read. And I really like the others, as well. Well-done.
I’m glad you mentioned the casket-surfing Big Show. Casey and I just showed those clips to Mrs. THESTINGER, and now it looks like there was a reason for us to do that, rather than two wrestling nerds tormenting a captive audience.
The best part of it was Big Bossman’s sympathy poem. WITH TEARS THAT ARE SOAKED
I had forgotten how mean that poem was. He said that if he had a son as dumb as the Big Show, he’d have wished for cancer too! That is not okay.
Rad and awesome and all sorts of other descriptions, Brandon.
Last night was just the beginning…12/12/12 DOINK RETURNS!!!
Does anyone feel like CM Punk is trying for a Tony Stark thing? Insulting, snarky, but “I’m the cool guy” attitude.
Great read, well written. Who would have thought Big Show could be so right?
That’s a good point. And possibly why I wanted Cap to kick Tony’s ass so badly when I was watching Avengers.
An addition Best from me to everyone for hanging out during Memorial Day so that it wasn’t just me and THESTINGER arguing about my Avenger List or me, MrsTHESTINGER, and the other WL Ladies making dirty comments about Dolph’s asscape.
Because of you ladies, I have checked out Dolph’s butt more times than any straight man should, so yeah, there’s that.
I went on a 30-minute Google hunt to try to find a good Asscape picture for the bingo card. I saw things I never wanted to see. And then had to settle for the Twitter profile picture of @DolphsAssCape
I’m just trying to provide balance is all.
And that’s why we love you Lobster :)
hooray, appreciation!
[i.imgur.com]
I’m sorry I ended up not being here last night. I had a friend lure me back to Twitter for the night and wish I had just gone here instead. You guys are more fun.
We’re the only friends you could ever need/want, Steph. :)
Me: “huh. Wonder what THESTINGER posted on this comment thread.
*Clicks link*
Me: Dolph’s butt again :/ I’m seriously thinking that if I ever bump into Dolph in real life all I’ll be able to say is: “Nice ass, bro.”
“Could you sign my ass, I mean, could you ass my program, I mean, can I sign YOUR ass? There we go.”
+1 MrSnrub
WCW/nWo Revenge was better than No Mercy. There, I said it.
I like No Mercy better in that there’s a real story mode instead of just 10 matches in a row.
Also it seems like finishers don’t do much damage in Revenge, I had to Flatline people like three times before they stayed down.
No Mercy played better, but Revenge had the better roster. La Parka AND a Booker T who did the spinaroonie before it was called something.
Riddle me this, sports fans: How come in both games Saturn never had the Death Valley Driver as his finisher? It was his strong grapple+up and B in both games.
Yeah, thanks for remembering that, brain. Not math or anything useful. Way to be.
Revenge also featured the greatest move never to be seen in an AKI game again: Shogun’s incredibly badass stalling superplex. I think that and the Slapjack (also awesome) were the only two animations that didn’t get carried over in later games.
The Slapjack was just a Pedigree wasn’t it?
Let’s not forget the knee to the gut / swinging DDT combo.
I was hoping for a ‘worst’ for John Cena beating off to the military again. Maybe (MAYBE) that would have been ok to open the show with, but… man, did that annoy the shit out of me.
I try not to Best or Worst things that happen in real life, because this is a wrestling column, not necessarily a “what I think about the military” page.
Holy Crap if they were to put Revenge as a bonus feature, I would buy the next 3 RAW Vs Smackdown games.
They need to include WCW/nWo Revenge and either WWF No Mercy or WWF WrestleMania 2000. They own the rights and they can fit it onto the disk.
My favorite moment (I’ve watched it at least 20 times now) was Otunga’s “I’m fine, Teddy” when Teddy left to get Eve’s coffee. Being self-aware is awesome.
Yeah, that was pretty great.
I forgot to mention it, but yeah, Otunga rules.
“Land Before Time XXVII: Somebody Call My Magma” seriously made me lose my shit.
I seriously hope Petrie dies on this one.
Oh my God, I finally got the Randy Orton joke!
Which one?
“R’ing KO” my personal favorite I lol’d
If you assume that RKO stands for Randy Knockout and not Randall Keith Orton (because it’s weird to think about Orton doing himself to people), then RK-ing O would actually be correct.
No Mercy for the N64 is still the best wrestling game ever.
Wrestlemania 2000 was also pretty amazing.
Fire Pro is the best wrestling game ever.
I missed this entire show. Doesn’t all this “best”-ing guarantee a HHH 20 minute monologue next week?
you shush! we’ve already figured out that someone is passing the information in these comments to the writers. no need to give them ideas for things we don’t want.
You are quite close actually as they already said someting about Cena returning next week.
*something (flippin’ A everytime!)
yeah I’m not looking forward to the karmic backlash here
That’s right, Lobster Mobster. We definitely don’t want Triple H resigning as COO and the Board of Directors hiring Paul Heyman to the Head of Creative. That would be terrible.
There was also that time Dawn Marie married Torrie Wilsons father, sexed him to death, then beat her up at his funeral that she didnt even invite Torrie too
Imma awright with Big Show running around splittin wigs, but Imma gon be upset if he done turn out to be a weaker Mark Henry. Playa.
Is AW off of TV pretty much because of Rosa having whiplash?
Maybe he wasn’t on because the writers couldn’t think of anything to progress his story? It seemed like nearly everything that happened last night added to someone’s arc, even just a little bit. As much as I like AW and Friends, there’s no point if it’s just them watching a monitor backstage.
Logic? Continuity? Punk vs. Dragon again?? No Diva matches?? NO CENA??? As the great Booker T would say, “WUT DA HELL?” Easily the best Raw since the night after WM.
I fully expect Cena to show up next week being all HEH AIN’T NO BIG DEAL WE GONNA HAVE A MATCH AND I WILL FIGHT YOU BUT WHO CARES and make Stiffler Face at him, but I hope it culminates in another punch to the face and lots of “stop acting like this or I’ll punch you every week” discussion.
Okay…I just lol’d
… I mentioned the Ace-Eve/Otunga dynamic to Vince-HHH/Steph in the discussion thread. I feel like I placed that thought into your head… So therefore I’m taking all of the credit for it.
YAY! I made the Top 10! Combine cough medicine w/energy drinks & scary bearded (or breaded) children and you too can be on the top 10! :D
Also, Brandon, “R’ing KO”, “NsWO”? No matter how much I try, I still can’t beat the master of…what is this called exactly?
B’ing the Best
That’s it! I following your advice. If I wanna make the Top 10, I need to Embrase the Hallucinations.
BRANDON – HOW IS CAT?
My question also.
He’s okay. He’s wearing a big dumb collar right now to keep him from scratching himself to death. Pictured left.
Kitteh! Sorry..but I have one of those for my cat and whenever I have to put it on him he just pouts like a mopey teen on the end of the bed, plotting my demise.
If Vickie were paired with Hunico and Camacho would that mean they would actually change their gimmicks or would they just get more sterotypey? (that so is not a word.)
LOL, Camacho.
But seriously, they would get more stereotypey. I can see the 3 of them coming down to the ring in one of Eddie’s old lowsrider.
Alo – it is a loweredsrider.
Has Camacho had more than two televised WWE matches?
:(
of course, I should have caught that one, still not 100% unfortunately.
I think his match at “Over the Limit” was his 3rd?
Camacho is not really even Mexican, doesn’t that make his gimmick more distastefull, i mean granted it isn’t boderline yellowface (thats a stage term) like tensai.
That’s the part that makes me LOL at him. . . . LOL! CAMACHO!!!!!
LOL CAMACHO is the correct answer here.
It’s always the correct answer :D
“If the match with Christian is good, they aren’t great. If it’s great, they’re good. If it’s terrible, they’re Edge.”
Thank you for this. I’m getting tired of getting treated like an asshole because I don’t bow at the altar of a guy who I think I know.
Edge himself wasn’t super terrible, but whenever he wrestled Christian it was ass. Same thing happened whenever Matt Hardy wrestled Jeff.
That was one of the best RAWs they’ve done in months, if not this year. It makes me think “that wasn’t so hard… why can’t most of them be that good?” Seriously, you could have a rotating staff of film school interns writing storylines for free and turn out a consistently better product than the current creative staff.
I may be the sole dissenter, but I wasn’t bothered by CM Punk picking on Big Johnny, or the way in which he did it. For better or worse, that’s CM Punk: he may be mostly on script, but he says what he wants, for the most part in the way he wants to. He’s a dick, but to me it feels less contrived than when Austin does it (for example), and he’s not a dick to everyone he meets. Punk is a guy who knows it’s wrong to call people “faggots”, but there aren’t a lot of better alternatives when you want to emasculate another guy. The only thing left that’s PC to say is “you have a small dick”, so he goes there. Could he do better? Probably. Will he? Doubtful.
I was disappointed that Brodus/Big Show wasn’t a proper match, but Big Show got more solid character development in one night than in the last five years, so we’ll call that a win. Maybe in time they will bury the hatchet and form a tag team, if only so we can call them “Showdus”.
I agree with a lot of what you say. I submit that the tag team should be called Brow (pronounced bro), however.
Anyone see AJ on The Raw Backstage Fallout Video on WWE’s Youtube Page? Just awesome.
Also great points from the Miz about his place in the WWE. (I promise I’m not a WWE Spy)
So you not a WWE spy? I dunno; that’s one Suspiciously Specific Denial there, Arrested Developmental.
I promise I’m not writing down these ideas to use to make people like John Cena National Treasure more!
I still think that its either THESTINGER, (he IS on the latest issue of WWE magazine after all), or Derrick Bateman (who reads With Leather, occasionally & IS a WWE Superstar).
all i can say is Big SHow heel turn is awesome. And RUN DESTINY RUN!!!!! NO not in the hedge maze!!! BTW i totally forgot about Teddy Long until i he showed up looking like a tranny maid. He can go away now.
Love Big Show’s persona change, but I think Brandon’s criticism of “why haven’t we seen this sooner” is misplaced. Here’s the hard part about handing giants: Back in the 70s/80s, the Vinces McMahon could have Andre maul whoever he liked, then as soon as the crowd started to get bored with weekly Andre maulings, they could send him on a world tour until people had started to wonder where’s Andre (and/or Poochie). But in 2012, if WWE wants to make dough off Show, he has to be in your living room weekly. They have to cycle Show through tough/smiley/diaper-adorned personas or him murdering 5% of the roster every week would get tiresome.
That was well-stated.
Damn, seems like I missed a good Raw. Another good B/W, can’t wait to joke with you all next week.
Can I just say that I attended last night’s Raw and it was fucking awesome to see this shit in person. Yes, I was entertained.
I completely goddamn forgot this was in NOLA until like seven forty five last night. Pissed
WrestleMania XIX for the Gamecube….I loved that game. I remember playing it back when it came out, one of my friends was over., he saw me playing as Kane, beating up a bunch of guys. He asked: “Why are you some 7 foot masked guy in S&M gear beating up construction workers? I thought this was a wrestling game.”
WHY DO I LOVE ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT EVE SO MUCH
WHY GOD
Between Sunday’s Mad Men and Game of Thrones, and Monday’s Raw, and now this B/W, we’re totally getting spoiled.
Its nice to know I’m not the only person that is starting to get tired of this version of CM Punk. Its exactly like John Cena. When WWE lets them act natural, I like them. When WWE tells them how to act, I hate them.
Why does that new WWE video game look that bad? Looks like something that would’ve came out years ago.
And they probably won’t make another one, but I loved WWE All Stars.
Sorry Punk, you can’t chastise someone for a ‘timely’ pac man reference then make a Fresh Prince of Bel Air gag.
I thought that exact same thing
So there’s officially a “CM punk: I dig crazy chicks” shirt for sale on wwe.com. Is this an even stupider idea than the ice cream bars shirt?
100x more stupid.
But still not as bad as the variety of DX shirts inviting people to suck things.
Barbershop Window could do something a thousand times better than WWE with that line and it would look like it cost more to make.
On a similar subject, this shirt sucks. The artist somehow made Punk look like Razor Ramon.
[www.wweshop.com]
If only they’d hire just one guy that seemed like he cared about making actual cool merch.
If this would somehow lead to an AJ shirt that said “Crazy Chick,” I could be OK with it.
…How many Divas have had T-shirts? I know Sunny did, I assume Sable did, and I seem to recall a couple Trish shirts. Any others?
Does Beth’s iron-on “DING GLAMSLAM DING” count?
I had a feeling heel Big Show would make a fan out of Dear Leader.
I’m still calling it. Inappropriate Shaved Head Theatre. Show/Tensai v. Taker 2. This is the only logical next step after This Business and we’re finally moving it in the right direction.
The Miz made a good point in his promo. I think he is finally getting the direction his character has needed since jobbing to Rock/Cena at Survivor Series.
But, seriously–Ginger Demon Kid. I expect him to cover “Gimme Da Gold” by the end of the week.
Oh, the horror.
Some other Darkest Days in WWE History.
Val Venis loses his Venis after a sword chop from Taka.
Kennel in a Cell
John Cena’s Rap CD
Stephanie McMahon’s dog getting run over.
That time, Vince McMahon, ya know, CRUCIFIED HIS OWN DAUGHTER
Torrie Wilson’s dad marrying Dawn Marie.
If X-pac loses to Kane, Torrie has to spend the holidays with Kane!
Heidenreich sexually assualts Michael Cole.
Every political sketch ever done on wrestling related television.
A Top 10?! I’m not worthy . . . I love this column, and you people.
Wait, “you people?” One episode with Racist Big Show and he’s rubbing off on me!
It’s already been said but: ““YOU FAIL AT BEING AN ADORABLE JAPANESE MAID” is hands down the funniest thing I’ve read in the last 10 minutes.
I have mixed feelings about the Ziggler move. I want nothing more than for him to be given a string of bouts against Orton and others that showcase his skills and make him the next big thing in the company. But what are the odds the WWE has the foresight to stick with something that awesome? I see him making the RKO look devastating for a month and then back to being the only person in the company who can make the Rough Rider look like something off the Zapruder film.
I’m not saying this from a place of “why don’t we make the tag belts mean something again”, but I think the best thing for Dolph is for him and Swagger to get the tag belts, carry them for 6 months, have Dolph do a picture-in-picture promo on his way to the ring each week with Swagger standing behind him showing off his hair and saying “yeah” at the end of whatever Dolph says. The two of them can also carry about a half hour of programming with the entrance, 20 minutes of match and some sort of post-match celebration. That’s 1/6th of the show for the next 6 months. They can get clean wins over the Uso’s of the world and cheap, dastardly wins against gimmick teams (couldn’t they have set up the Orton/Sheamus feud just as well?).
After 6 months of getting to run his mouth and parade around with a belt, they can drop them to someone and he can give Swagger the boot because everyone knows it will be the next logical step into him becoming Flair Sub-1.
That was an enjoyable recap of a pretty good show. Good job.
Great recap, Brandon. I’ve been coming here ever since Adam Rank said you were one of the best writers for things WWE related. He was damn sure right!
Finally finished the article. Great write up as always, B-Stro. I didn’t have the brain energy to do the Discussion Thread last night. (Long busy weekend) But, I lol’d at the Top 10. WTG, to those that made it in this week.
“I think [Vickie] got that from her first husband, King Tut.”
Go fuck yourself, King.
LOOOL your’e like the only other person who got too scared to talk to a wrestler. I met Kurt Angle and i planned to TALK TO HIM AND ASK HIM SO MUCH SHIT and when i met him i just started shaking, quickly took a picture and autograph and ran away. How i wish i did something creative, like cut a fucking promo on him and make everyone chant ‘WHAT?’ and then start singing his theme song and everybody starts screaming ‘YOU SUCK!’ and all that other crap.
Yes that was my rant. Problem? unnecessary but just looking at the small details okay. That’s how good your articles are. Great job again dude.
Oh yeah and I just started being a Super Duper Big Show gives you 200 punches but then just gives you one and KO fan. That promo was the WMD BITCH! If there’s one thing WWE fails at its continuity (like K-krush just comes in and becomes spider phobiac R-truth and Tensai is still a ‘previous wrestler’ despite the crowds yelling ALLLBERTTT every 10 seconds, JUST SAY IT COLE! but this time continuity was perfect. They got every point I could think of and Show is better as a heel cutting Promos than putting his beanie on little kids and covering everything from their hair to their penis. So all in all, great, keep it going, dont go 3 hours.
This was also one of my favorite B&Ws but I completely disagree with the AJ point. Isn’t it obvious that she’s going to go full on Harley Quinn and turn on Punk?
Of course…Cranky Vince might try and swerve us but isn’t that the logical conclusion to this angle?
I wanna see Brodus and Big Show in a “Loser has to be Doink” match.
Has it ever, in the history of forever, happened where a wrestler or a tag team of wrestlers were winning a match both before AND after a commercial break? I’ve yet to see the momentum not switch thanks to three minutes of Pizza Hero and Golden Corral ads.
You liked so much this week. Are you Brandon? Great write up as usual. +Rhodes for Clay being able to talk good shit as a face, which the other faces can’t seem to grasp. If Morrison would have stayed Dirt Sheet funny as a face, he would have gone platinum. But he went “lulz pull my finger loozer” and here we are. I bet DZ could do it, but Kofi needs to learn, expeditiously.
Long time lurker etc. You know why suddenly you’re all happy with the Big Show? He turned heel, dude. You heart heels. So simple!
I’ve been reading back into the history of this column (great column). You once tried to justify Cena being heel. When Truth went heel, you were all about Truth (fair play, heel Truth is awesome). Ziggler, heel Mark Henry, Cody, Del Rio, proper Christian (wait ’til this random face turn takes hold, you’ll lose interest). When Punk turned face you lost interest. Bryan kicked in big time around his heel turn. Dude, you’re a heel-mark! Not to say you don’t appreciate the faces when they work, but damn, you like the bad guys. You’re the Black Glove, man. You’re the front row.
Hypothesis – long-time marks appreciate the heel ’cause the heel has flavour which the face does not.
Oh yeah – this is my nerd persona. Also, UK nerd. We call babyfaces ‘blue eyes’ here. Used to, anyhow. Les Kellett is the greatest comedy wrestler of all time.
He also hates Kane, is tired of The Miz, frequently criticizes Jack Swagger’s work, complained when Kevin Nash showed up, and so on and so on. If there’s any correlation, it’s because WWE doesn’t know how to make sensible faces.
Randy Orton suspended 60 days for 2nd Wellness Policy violation. Guess he’s “going to that place again”
It does say something for WWE’s commitment to keeping the talent off the weed and HGH that they’re willing to suspend big names as well as mid-carders. It also says something for Orton’s commitment to gettin’ high like a mofo.
I almost had a heart attack reading this. Well done, sir.
I would like to continue the discussion of of old N64 AKI wrestling games!
Upon replaying it a bit, those wacky made up wrestlers actually had a lot of unique moves I don’t remember seeing since. My favorite though, is Powder Keg from World Tour…he just looks so happy!
Most, if not all, of them were original costumes and characters with movesets of Japanese wrestlers. The Executioner, for instance, is clearly Kenta Kobashi once you pay attention. Even several women in No Mercy have Japanese movesets with different taunts and finishers. Trish Stratus is Jushin Liger, Mae Young is Giant Baba.
I have been busy working guys, so I have been on as much as I would like. Still, I have a really cool story. I work as a chef and both myself and the general manager are big wrestling fans, and a customer comes in wearing the older CM Punk shirt. Of course we both catch it, he get’s a cool shirt, a free dessert and we play Cult of Personality on the jukebox.
That gray shirt looks terrible.
It’s all good, I actually bought a large, and it has been a great motivator for me to get in shape. Can’t look bad in my CM Punk shirt, way too easy for heels to call me CM Chunk.
This was the best B&W in a while, and I guess the show itself is partially to thank, but I wanted to make a point to thank you as well.
I wish we could make this last all week. This is the only place I get to talk about wrestling, and make wrestling related jokes.