Worst: Hard Camera Finishes
Miz finally defeating the juggernaut that is Santino Marella and his aggressive Manger Baby was the right call, but I continue to hate how Miz can’t just full nelson a guy and Skullcrushingly Finale him, he has to hook in the full nelson, turn around so he’s facing the hard camera, THEN do it. He never locks his hands, either, so he just kinda hooks his arms around a guy and gingerly moves them around, and literally anyone with cognizance could take a step to the left and escape it without incident. I don’t know, it bugs me that you have a full nelson as the linchpin of your move and you can’t wrestle snugly enough to do a f**king full nelson.
I notice that John Cena does this too, where he picks up a guy in the Attitude Adjustment and uses ALL OF HIS STREEEENGTH except for the additional strength he uses to walk to the middle of the ring, turn around, grimace at the camera and do his move. I’m sure everyone does it (I can’t remember Daniel Bryan ever kicking someone in the head without their back to the camera) and if I could have Steve Keirn or whoever’s job the first thing I’d do is make everyone at FCW play Fire Pro and teach them that the wrestling ring has four sides and should be a dynamic f**king place of action.
The second thing I’d do is ask out Raquel Diaz, because sh*t, it’s worth a shot.
Best: Layla Is The New Ryback
This should be Layla’s entire Divas Championship run … she should be smart enough to do the things nobody else has thought to do.
At Extreme Rules, she foiled Team Magic by just beating up the fresh Bella, because God, they’re the Bella Twins, it’s not like Nikki Bella rolled out and Kenta Kobashi rolled in. You can just neckbreaker her and she dies like the first one. So yeah, she gets put into a triple threat match with two Bellas on Monday, so instead of being all John Cena about it and looking concerned as she squats in the corner she does what anybody who watches wrestling would try: she dropkicks one Bella into the other, then goes straight for that roll-up nobody can escape. She wins in 10 seconds. Divas don’t kick out and she is a SUPER GENIUS.
This proves scientifically that two is not greater than you.
Worst: Goodbye Forever, Sweet Bellas Twin
Shortly after this match, the Bella Twins got into a verbal catfight of sorts with Important Sexy Librarian Eve Torres and were fired. Hilariously, WWE.com broke the story and said they’d have “more details as the story developed”, because WWE has no connection to WWE.com and those dot com jerks just have to watch Raw and guess like everyone else.
Anyway, this ends the Bella Twins in WWE, which ends any hope of Kharma coming back and longterm booking the sh*t out of them as revenge for them calling her and her baby a bunch of bad names. Not to be insensitive about it, but how great would that storyline be now that Kharma’s baby didn’t survive? This saddened, wronged woman comes back to her job and sees the two people who directly addressed the baby in a hateful way during its lifetime … that is reason for f**king violence isn’t it? She should’ve shown up and jabbed them in the eyes with spikes until they crawled away bleeding like Joey Mercury’s ladder arseface and were never seen again. Instead, they lose a 10 second match and Eve fires them for being mouthy.
I always enjoyed the Bella Twins, at least moreso than I enjoyed the mayo on whitebread ladies who were lined up to face them. Who will wrestle tag matches against Kelly Kelly and Kelly Kelly’s friend? Who will walk up and be all OOH YOU’RE THE THIRD GUY FROM HOT TUB TIME MACHINE when the third guy from Hot Tub Time Machine hosts and needs to look like a desirable movie star? Who will wear Reynolds Wrap bathing suits that make their crotches look like baked potatoes? This is sadder than you’re realizing.
I wish Nikki Bella the best in her career, and if that fails, I wish Brie the best in finishing Nikki’s career.
Best: Chris Jericho Selling A Mid-Air Chop
If Chris Jericho wants to make a legitimate point about how he’s being disrespected by WWE’s important people, he should bring up the fact that he had to wrestle The Big Show and Daniel Bryan got to beat a 78-year old in a homemade playing-card-themed Affliction shirt. Randy Orton got to face Jack Swagger, who hasn’t had a match longer than 4 minutes since 2006, and Jericho has to face a 7-foot tall 500-pound guy who just lost his title by accident and responded by throwing a Jericho-sized guy to his death. That’s a much more cromulent argument than “we have similar nicknames and I’m mad about it”.
Worst: Cody Rhodes Not Continuing The Big Show Thing
Before WrestleMania, Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes repeatedly harassed The Big Show by interrupting his matches with embarrassing video packages. When Show won at Mania, he started interrupting Cody’s matches the same way. Cody got the IC title back at Extreme Rules, and he totally should’ve started interrupting Show’s matches with footage of Show being fat and dumb and accidentally stepping on things. This should continue on an infinite loop until it drives them mad and they do a Gandalf/Balrog thing three ages from now at WWE Nameless Terror.