
Whereas 2011 was a high point in investigative journalism with the Jerry Sandusky and Bernie Fine cases, 2012 is clearly the year of streaker news. Already, our good friend Jon Bois at SB Nation has been keeping incredible track of the baseball season’s early abundance of streakers – most notably in Baltimore – but last night’s game between the Cardinals and Phillies at Busch Stadium marked the pinnacle in the journalistic attention to naked dudes.
Between our other good friend Matt Sebek from Joe Sports Fan and Yahoo! baseball writer Jeff Passan, we were given a clinic on how you cover and investigate a naked man on a baseball field. Thanks to Passan, we know that last night’s Busch streaker is 22-year old Jefferson Cirty landscaper Collin Grundstrom – talk about a Yard Crasher! *slide whistle* – and we also learned that he rushed the field for the most important reason of all – why the f*ck not?
“I’m gonna streak,” he announced at the beginning of the St. Louis Cardinals-Philadelphia Phillies game to those within earshot of Section 133, Row 5, Seat 4. At first, they chuckled. Then they started to believe him. Which was followed by attempts to dissuade him. And ultimate acceptance that, yes, Grundstrom was gonna streak, and it was only a matter of when.
“He was very nonchalant,” said Sheila Welch, a Cardinals fan who sat behind Grundstrom. “I tried to tell him he’d go to jail. He didn’t care. I hope his friend thinks that was awesome.”
The most important aspect of this story – even more important than that incredibly well-taken banner image – is that Grundstrom has a large tattoo across his midsection and Passan also pointed out that it reads: “Hakuna Matata”. It means no worries for the rest of your life, except when a fat security guard is Tazing you.
Video after the jump, via Joe Sports Fan, and while it’s taken from a distance, it is still a naked dude so use your discretion.
Joe Sports Fan also answered the most important question: Does the bush match the Busch? (Very NSFW) To which the answer is: Dude, I didn’t look.
(Original banner image via)


SNOOP! SNOOP A LOOP!!
I was watching the MLB Network broadcast of this game with Tom Verducci and Bob Costas announcing and Costas delivered one of the worst lines I’ve ever heard out of an announcer’s mouth about the event. I don’t remember the lines verbatim but it went something like this: “You don’t expect such things in the genteel settings of Busch Stadium, but in the words of Jack Buck ‘I don’t believe what I’ve just seen’”. That was the gist of it, and damn was it douche-chill inspiring. Bob, no matter how hard you fucking try you will never be able to emulate those sportswriters/broadcasters from the 50s or before you so clearly want to be like. You can’t do it, please stop.
I was watching on MLB.tv so of course they cut right to commercial after the third out and then Twitter blew up. I pay $20 a month and get no cock for my buck.
It’s no parkour fan escape
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