I’ve never fought professionally, so this video has taught me a valuable lesson — if a guy has his body wrapped around my arm and is trying to break it, I shouldn’t stand up and shake my arm around to make him stop.

By way of Cage Potato comes this clip from ‘The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil’ of Rony “Jason” Mariano Bezerra giving Team Wanderlei its first win, a first-round submission victory over Anistavio “Gasparzinho” Medeiros de Figueiredo. When they’re done ultimately fighting they should have a contest to see who can have the most names.

Anyway, sh*t gets real at the 1:40 mark, and a few moments and horrible noises later, Gasparzinho walks away with a spaghetti arm. Now Jason gets to square off with Hugo “Wolverine” Viana in the featherweight semis, and if I know anything about Wolverine I know it’s gonna take a lot more than that to break his arm. Advice: dismember him and bury the parts on different continents.

Two additional notes:

1. Here’s a clip of the coaches yelling at each other. If you understand what they’re saying, let me know. And yes, when it said “tecnico” under Wanderlei Silva’s name I was hoping Vitor’s would say “rudo”.

2. If you flip the preview image upside down it looks like the weirdest masturbation ever.