While most parody Twitter accounts simply bring us incredibly accurate portrayals of NFL quarterbacks, an account dedicated to Italian striker Mario Balotelli actually helped spread a friendly reminder earlier this morning to aspiring European soccer hooligans. In a recent interview, Balotelli said that if any fans get out of hand and downright racist toward him at next month’s Euro 2012 tournament, he will kill them.
Plain and simple.
“I will not accept racism at all,” Balotelli, who was abused by Juventus and Roma fans while playing for Inter Milan in 2009, told France Football magazine.
“If someone throws a banana at me in the street, I will go to jail because I will kill them,” he added, referring to an incident in Rome when someone threw a banana at him in a bar.
“It was lucky the police arrived quickly because I swear, I would have beaten them. I would really have destroyed them.
“I hope it never happens again.” (Via Reuters India)
UEFA officials, in unison with Polish and Ukrainian leaders, have assured Euro 2012 fans that the tournament will be free of racism and hatred, despite the recent reminders that some European soccer fans like to wave Nazi flags at soccer games. But Balotelli and other players that have faced racist taunts and chants aren’t quite buying it.
I think the best solution for Balotelli would be to train Ukraine’s stray dogs to sniff out and destroy racist soccer fans. If anything, it would make for one hell of a Pixar movie after the tournament.
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I didn’t know the famous chef was also a famous soccerist!
To be fair, most of the racism Balotelli receives is from Italian fans. Italians don’t take to kind that they have a dark pigmented man on their team. Wait until they get a Muslim on their 2014 World Cup team.
While we’re at it. “Throw tacos and I’ll kill you”, warns Alopezb5.
But seriously, I hope “Riot, The Dog That Ended Racism” will be available in 3D.
Do you make exceptions for tacos thrown TO you instead of AT you?
For example, let’s say I’ve got some tacos (bought or prepared, it doesn’t matter) and I’m trying to get some to you, but for some reason, we are on opposite sides of a chasm. Would it be acceptable to throw tacos to you? If not, we’ll have to rig up some kind of pulley system or something. Why are we even in this predicament in the first place, I don’t even know.
We were supposed to meet at the Grand Canyon and have a BBQ/Carne Asada, but somehow we each ended up on opposite sides of the canyon, (darn mapquest!).
But to answer your question: If you are tossing a taco TO me, that is acceptable because I love tacos. But if you throw a taco AT me in any derogatory manner, I will flip out, mostly because I could have eaten said taco.
Anybody that wastes a taco is a horrible person.