The NBA Draft Lottery was held last night to determine which team commissioner David Stern was doing favors for this year possesses the No. 1 pick and the eventual rights to Anthony Davis, and to mild surprise the big winner was the New Orleans Hornets. Many people had assumed that Michael Jordan’s pathetic Charlotte Bobcats would win the top pick, but apparently they even suck at being the worst.
That’s why the above image is so amusing, as Davis apparently believed that he was destined for Charlotte with the Snapback hat. Fortunately, it’s a Charlotte Hornets hat so he didn’t waste $30.
But many are still crying foul that the team that the NBA still owns – until the new owner, Tom Benson, officially takes control in July – received this pick as compensation for the fact that Stern and Co. sent Chris Paul packing to Los Angeles. In fact, according to an online USA Today poll, A LOT of people think that Stern is a dirty, no-good cheater.
The idea that the man who is in charge of a billion dollar sports league would be so obvious in collusion and hold such contempt for the fans is one that people discuss with such incredible passion on both sides of the argument, so I wanted to make sure that I collected my thoughts properly in making my own argument as to whether or not Stern is capable of fixing the televised NBA Draft Lottery…
Maybe.
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Well… we’ve seen teams with the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th best chance of winning the #1 draft pick manage to win it before. In this case it’s roughly a 1 in 8 chance.
I’ve not studied the history of #1 drafts under Stern’s tenure enough to know if it’s always his cronies that win.
Gut feeling… Percentage of it being true is about the same as the percentage above that believe it’s true. I’m 57% certain the fix is in.
Seeing as how Stern took over in ’84, the lottery was devised in ’85 and people still (rightfully) suspect that he fixed the first one for the Knicks to get Ewing? Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and assume he has been ‘fixing’ a lot of things about his league. This is a no-brainer.
Maybe it’s a “fix” in the sense that Jordan owes Stern money and this is compensation?
Stern did have Jordan’s dad killed.
Burnsy, I picture you writing that joke with your tongue out in a mocking fashion to his Airness,
Also in my head movies you are a 500lbs Mexican man with a neck tattoo that says ‘hugs not drugs’. I sometimes am hit or miss on my imagination.
Of course Stern fixed it; the NBA is such a joke. He fixes the lottery and trades; his refs fix the games. Apparently you can give Rondo a harder elbow than Chuck Liddell ever delivered and not get called for a foul as long as Stern wants your team to win.
My goal is to spend a great deal of this offseason researching Stern’s tenure and developing the most comprehensive look at NBA conspiracy theories imaginable. I’m sure it has been done before, but my version will contain naked women.
Burnsy – your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
I hope that chick standing outside dude’s truck isn’t one of the naked chicks in your book.
Burnsy – just don’t go too far down the rabbit hole and end up on the run from Stern’s goon squad, with your only hope resting on C-Tates’ twerkin’ shoulders (Unless, of course, you document all of it on video)
Burnsey, just grab every Bill Simmons Article since 2006 and add naked pictures.
Job done, more time available to day dream about haning out with Bourdain, Marlo and Omar.
This is funny because Chuck Liddell isn’t known for his elbows, I guess?
(Next time, insert Ken Florian or, preferably, Jon Jones, into your whining about the Celtics’ losses to the Heat.)
Right, cause Check never dirty boxed.
*Chuck
ugh I stink at spelling
Anthony Davis needs to upgrade the white chicks he’s associating with.
She’s cute and probably has great mouthwork, but you can see the kangaroo pouch coming in