WORST: CODY RHODES NEEDS TO FOCUS UP
I think Cody losing a match because he was watching a video of himself is much more embarrassing than what happened at Wrestlemania so if I were Big Show (or anyone in the future who has a problem with Mr. Rhodes) I’d come out during any one of his matches and play a video of the time Big Show played a video of Cody losing to Big Show at Wrestlemania because I guess it’s going to distract him every single time. Also, Big Show’s video was only about 12 seconds so it won’t even take that long to put one together.
If I were Cody Rhodes my next move would be to splice footage of Big Show winning secondary titles with him winning major titles and then write some speech about how it’s weird that he always seems to go back and forth and how that makes it hard to take him that seriously and how nobody cares when he drops the secondary titles because it’s inevitable and I’d practice it in that cool mirror I used to have during my entrance.
Cody Rhodes World Title shot by Survivor Series, right?
BEST: MARK HENRY GETS THAT PEANUT BUTTER?
I don’t know who this guy is backstage getting his network on with Mark Henry, but it’s pretty fun. Until I learn his name I’m calling him Peanut Butter because (sexual) Chocolate is awesome and Peanut Butter makes Chocolate even better and maybe we are all witnessing Mark Henry becoming really really tasty.
That said, some fun tidbits from this segment:
- pretty sure he meant to rearrange the words “hustle” and “muscle” because if this guy is providing more “muscle” for the World’s Strongest Man then that’s not gonna work out
- Someone very close to the camera is clearly saying “who are you” in reference to Peanut Butter
- Someone else very close to that same guy realizes that could be a chant so he repeats the first guy’s thing with rhythm
- Some guy just says “nation of domination” as if he was giving them an idea
If this means that WWE is exploring the world of managers again then hot damn.
BEST: I LIKE EVE BEING MEAN LIKE BRANDON LIKES AJ JUST STANDING THERE
Eve was always just regular pretty and never dang whoa pretty but something about her being a bitch now is dang whoa pretty or maybe I’m just lonely because I haven’t seen my wife in two weeks.
You guys think my wife will wear an Eve wig and start manipulating me and then my internet show will get really popular but then I’ll hurt my back real bad? Cool.
BEST: MIZ PICKING UP STEAM
See, giving Miz the pin at ‘Mania and getting him another clean pin tonight gives me hope. Unless you just flat out hate the Miz (and I guess I can’t really argue with you if you do but I kind of like him) then you have to feel good about a former WWE CHAMPION not looking like worthless doodoo. Because if a guy can win the title and successfully defend it at the biggest show of the year (regardless of how. See: Lakers/Kings and Michigan/Duke) that guy deserves a place on the List of Wrestlers Who Matter for at least two years after said victory.