Am I a nerd? YES! YES! YES!
If you live in Austin and read this site on the reg, chances are you were one of the tens of thousands of people in attendance at last night’s Monday Night Raw Watch Party, informally known as the Best And Worst Of Raw Live. On ice. And don’t quote me on the attendance, there were lights in my eyes the entire time and I’m just assuming that’s how many people were on the other side.
Anyway! If you watched Raw you know it was:
1. Three hours long
2. Suicidally dreadful
3. 85% commercial break
That being said, the combination of an arduous three hour Raw and the performance anxiety/high/cooldown combined has forced me to post this announcement: This week’s Best And Worst Of Raw column will be posted first thing in the morning on Wednesday, unless you want me to write up the version I saw with everything muted.
Maybe that would be better.
Until then, head over to The New Movement and find out where and how you can support the talented men and women who helped make the Raw party possible. For a live perspective on Raw that DIDN’T involve anybody calling Hornswoggle a “dick in a fruit roll-up”, check out John Canton’s Raw Deal at TJR Wrestling.
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Last night’s Raw was so terrible it made me question what the hell I was doing there watching it.
At least we can all say it was better than “Blast from the Past” Smackdown
That’s like saying, “Honey, I only made out with your best friend. Its not like the time I slept with you mother.”
I didn’t get a chance to watch Raw or join the convo due to a friend of mine passing away. I don’t care how terrible it was, I would have taken a shitty Raw over a dead friend any day. Looking forward to next Monday night FOR SURE.
My condolences.
Brandon, you’re lucky that you’re good looking, talented, and a damn pleasure to read, because otherwise this would be completely unacceptable…
In other news, will your B/W feature your best one liners based on crowd reaction from last night?
wait, since when was i good looking
But no, thank you, and yeah, I imagine a good portion of my report will be “lol remember at the thing when I said this thing”.
It was a best 2/3 compliments match.
And doggone it, people like you!
I thought you said you weren’t gonna get the “YES!” shirt, you caved didn’t you Stroud?
“Sooner or later….everyone caves” Prior Bryan shirt.
I’m getting one as soon as my next check comes in, gotta support “My boy DBry right there”.
Hey, it was bought FOR me. I’m not gonna turn down a free vegan wrestling shirt.
That settles it. I’m gonna become a blogger so I can get free vegan shirts.
His wrestling shirt doesn’t even eat meat!!
Wheww, for a minute I thought the PTA was disbanding.
nope, we’re still associating
Okay, it was probably dreadful. But did somebody get hit with something? That’s what I want to know!
Photo gallery & brief recap: [hot-tag.tumblr.com]
Includes the promised mark photo of Mr. Stroud and me before the show!
That is a tremendous photo!
I don’t know who you are but that Macho Man pic at the bottom of your page is tremendous
“tens of thousands”? Don’t you mean MILLIONS! and then you’d flip the internet mic back to us and we’d yell “AND MILLIONS” back at you?
…and the six Kanenites…
There is no way that WWE isn’t using Brock as a reason to subtly point to all the deficiencies over on TNA programming. In the three promo videos that got aired showcasing Lesnar, the guys doing the job were Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan and Kurt Angle, respectively.
Am I the only one who saw this?
Don’t forget Rob Van Dam.
I think everyone tries to forget Rob Van Dam
Yeah! Allright!
Just proof that Brock Lesner IS the face of WWE. Think about it… Their WWE Champ is a Bully who wins by cheap shooting his opponents while they are not looking. They commentators completely ignore or ridicule people who look different and especially if that person isn’t white. They put together highlight reals that show case their people beating up folks from a poorly run rival company who is always on the verge of not putting on a show… The WWE IS A BULLY.
I forgot Rob Van Dam before I forgot about SWAT.
Did anyone shoot video of B&W live and put it up anywhere? I love to watch it, as I imagine it made Raw 9,000x more enjoyable. Some of us live in New York and can’t (and won’t) just mosey on down to Austin on a weeknight (except for those damn 1%ers you see all over the place, what with their private jets and spaceships and all). In fairness though, Austin does always rank at the top of those “Coolest places to live that aren’t New York” articles on Yahoo.
Yes, I’m trolling. I would love to get out of this crowded overpriced hellhole one of these days.
Seriously though, did anyone take video and post this? If so, where can one watch?
+Rhodesasaurus if anyone did this
The guy sitting behind me was shooting video for parts of it, I believe. I met him at the ACW show last week, but I can’t recall his name right now. Pretty s ure he’s a reader/boardie here.
I think we’ll just have to wait for the B&W live show to come to our neck of the woods when it goes on tour*. (/preps regional phrase based sign and non chalant thing to say to Brandon in an attempt to not geek out)
(*Make it happen, Uproxx overlords.)
I guess my “ALOPEZB5 & LEMONADE FLAVORED ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRANK PRESENT: THE BEST & WORST OF WWE RAW POST GAME EXTRAVAGANZA!” will have to wait until tomorrow :(
We all know Coconut Water Rockstar is better..
Yeah, the Rockstars are 2 for $4 so I got one of each, looking back on it now, I shoulda gotten 2 Coconut Rockstars instead, *sigh*, regrets.
Damn it man now you will never know what your life would be like if you had gotten 2 Coconut Water Rockstars… It could have changed everything like walking out of your 7-11 and running into AJ
I could’ve met AJ! I HATE MYSELF!!!!!
If I met AJ here in Vegas I would drug her and marry her at the drive through chapel, it’s down the street. Then I’d explain to my current wife (via PowerPoint presentation) the joys/benefits of polygamy.
My power point presentation would consist of two slides on a loop.
Slide 1: A picture of AJ with the words “Come on”.
Slide 1: A picture of AJ with the word “Really?”.
There shall be no drugging and marrying of AJ! Not on my watch! >=(
It’s all good Lester bro, it didn’t happen…yet.
@Alopezb5: You realize that’s the booking for the “McMahon/Helmsley era” angle, right? You realize that means everyone on the Internet will hate you, right?
Such a hard decision, I mean do you turn your back on the internets to be married to AJ? I am in a pickle! Do I embrace the ponytail?
So is this the official open discussion board of the release of the Best and Worst of Raw? Will next week have an open discussion about the open discussion about the live discussion of Raw in anticipation of the release of the article? Brandon are you really Cody Rhodes? If so does this all make us Big Show?
I just hope you don’t find this…..embarrassing…
Thanks for saving me three hours of agonizing browser refreshing.
Hope the show went well last night. Glad I’ll have something to look forward on the interwebs tomorrow!
I’m still waiting for the Best & Worst of the 2012 Royal Rumble.
Worst – Sheamus won and argh!
/brain explodes in rage
Say what you will about Brock Lesser, at least he’s capable of using a chair.
ARGLE BARGLE, WHERE’S MY FREE ENTERTAINMENT?!
I SHALL NO LONGER BE DONATING MY SOLID GOLD PONY TO YOU, BRANDON!
This is the equivalent of the 5 day waiting period for handguns. I would gladly trade you the 2nd amendment for a Best/Worst right NOW!
What horrible place do you live that there’s a 5-day wait for a handgun?
I’ve pretty much always been in and out in under an hour, maybe a little longer if the ATF agent running my background is lazy (And damn it, I want a punch-card or something that speeds through that process! I’ve got six pistols, my seventh shouldn’t take as long as my first! Blargles!)
I will make you regret not being more specific in your request. You will indeed get a B&W right now, but not from Brandon! From ME! (Sponsored by Lemonade Flavored Rockstar, not as good as Coconut Flavored, but oh well).
-Worst: Edge returns and doesn’t spear Cena to continue the whole, “Old WWE guy returns to take out Cena every week” thing I thought they were doing.
-Worst: It was 95 degrees out and the heat was starting to make me sleepy during Jericho/Kofi, *yawn* it’s contagious.
-Best: The Codebreaker at the end was sweet.
-Worst: Tensai moving around the ring like a ninja after moves. It just doesn’t look right on big guys in shiny red underpants and pierced nips.
-Best: Paul Bearer’s trapped in the closet errr freezer, is anyone gonna free him? No? Ok then.
-Worst: Khali & Show as a team. Can’t we feed them to Lesnar?
-Best: Josh Mathews finally getting what was coming to him, take that you jerk!
-Worst: Phoenix down! I kept rubbing icy hot on the tv screen, but I don’t think her ankle was getting any better :(
-Best: “CM Drunk”, you almost had me, well played sir.
-Best: “My Boy DBref right there” w/the fastest 3-count ever, I was hoping the crowd would yell “YES!” after each count, but still good.
-Worst: Henry just standing there waiting for a Brogue Kick, RUN AWAY MARK!
-Worst: The tag champs, *sigh*, tune in next week as they lose to Chavo Guerrero & Pepe.
-Worst: I rarely go to Taco Bell after I ate there one time and puked all over my then-GF-now-wife’s parent’s driveway…yeah, watching the segment sponsored by them was no different. My future brother in law hosed the drive way down, is a brave man.
-Best: Brock Concert – Starring Brock Lesnar singing his hit single, “Can I borrow a feeling?” (BaHa! It’s got his face on it!).
-Worstest!: The closest we got to fighting was Cena throwing the papers at Brock! I guess it could have given him a paper cut…an EXXXXTREME PAPER CUT!
That’s it. I now have a new found appreciation for what Brandon Stroud does, this stuff is tough, (rhymes) and I don’t think I could do 6-9ish pages of this stuff in such a short amount of time. Tune in tomorrow for the actual thing which will be a gazillion times better than mine :)
Councilman – What crappy place do you live that requires a five day waiting period on hand guns? I’m usually in and out in under an hour, maybe a little longer if the ATF agent is being lazy about running my background check (Which, after six for pistols and one for a shotgun, shouldn’t take as long any more! Where’s my fast-track card?)
Alopezb5 – Close on the tag champs, but it’ll actually be Pepe and Moppy, managed by Stick Stickley. Team Stick!
Lobster…just saw a rerun of The Simpsons where Homer wants to get a gun, but has to wait. “Five day waiting period? But I’m angry now!” Hence, the five days. But, in my State of California, it’s TEN!
Hey, I look like a crazy person because I forgot that Uproxx likes to make some comments travel through the Mines of Moria before posting them, and they don’t give any evidence on your profile/activity page that the comment went through.
Also, oh, man, California is so horrible regarding gun ownership. Nearly all of my pistols aren’t legal in California since the magazine capacity is over 10 rounds. Hooray for Alabama!
Ha. And then you go to the UK and the police aren’t even allowed to have handguns.
*Note to self: Move to UK, take over everything with one board with a nail in it
Only until they revolt against you with bigger boards with bigger nails
Alright, you get your extra day, but remember that its BEST and Worst of WWE Raw. You must have a legitimate Best and it can’t be “It finally ended.”
I don’t envy you having to watch that again. The only way I got through it was fast forwarding judiciously. If you can make it that far, I’m really looking forward to your disdain for the obnoxious Taco Bell product placement.