Now that’s a Rock I can get behind.
On tonight’s show:
- The Rock will perform the “Rock concert”.
- John Cena will “rap”.
- And more! (Probably not)
Remember, the top 10 comments from tonight’s open discussion thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best and Worst Of WWE Raw report. That makes you an Internet celebrity by proxy! You’re even more important if you tweet this report, retweet it, share it on Facebook and get all your wrestling friends to come hang out and make jokes.Also something to remember: To nominate a comment for one of the top 10 of the night, be sure to reply with +1. That’ll make it easier for me to differentiate between the 2,000-or-so comments that are left.
TAGS: BEST AND WORST OF RAW, DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON, JOHN CENA, JOHN LAURINAITIS, OPEN DISCUSSION THREAD, TEDDY LONG, THE ROCK, THE ROCK CONCERT, TRIPLE H, UNDERTAKER, WRESTLEMANIA, WRESTLEMANIA 28
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Can Cody Rhodes start a new series of videos? “Cody Rhodes presents: another embarrassingly shit rock raw moment”?
Cody Rhodes presents – This Business!
seems i’ve pulled an all-nighter.
i just watched last years mr. h’s / undertaker match, because my memory on it was kind of hazy.
during their entrances alone (metallica, motorhead, johnny cash… fuck. yeah.), i thought to myself, “i’m already sold on their match at 28.” the theatrics, the stage, the history; these hold enough weight for these two guys to just exist in a match without spending 15 minutes a week standing around saying nothing.
although as exciting as the match was for a while, it eventually slowed to a pace similar to the one they’ve been working at lately.
these are my thoughts exactly pretty much.
just tell me it’s hhh vs taker at mania, that’s all i need. they’re big enough stars where they don’t NEED this huge love triangle to get my interest.
No it sucks, I’m always right.
At the end of January, the Funkasaurus eluded his captors and escaped into the forest for a number of weeks. Despite repeated attempts to contact his fellow Funkasaurs on Planet Funk, as well as an effort to build a makeshift rocketship with the assistance of a ragtag group of neighborhood children, the Funkasaurus was tracked down by the WWE’s crack Funkasaur hunters and shot full of tranquilizers. He awoke in Cleveland, resigned to once again dancing and splashing jobbers for our amusement.
As a HUGE Queen fan, The Rock deserves a special place in hell for bungling the lyrics to a “We Will Rock You” parody. REALLY!? That song was re-written FOR HIM. He can’t take the time to learn the words!? How dare he stumble and mumble over Brian May’s legendary guitar riff!? I hope Cena rips the spine right out of the back of his neck.
Queen is my shit. Don’t play Rocky.
i got your back
Fatality?
I think it was done so purposely…
Jericho just told Punk to take his liver out of his purse.
+1
Guys, I’ve had so much fun on here tonight. I missed reading a lot of the comments during the show so I’ve just gone back and speed-read most of them. So funny. When The Funkasaurus came out everyone typed in CAPS for like, three pages.
I’d love to see a word cloud for this comments section with the word ‘RHODES’ in the middle dwarfing everything else. See you next week. :¬)
despite following along everything that happened tonight, im ashamed in admitting that the Rhodes thing went over my head.
feel free to -Rhodes me into oblivion…
Next week main event: Randy Orton vs Brooklyn Brawler
Cena: I spit on your spit.
Rock: I piss on your spit.
Cena: I shit on your piss.
Rock: I fart on your shit.
Cena: I laugh at your fart.
Rock: …….we are friends again.
(They repeat the lines in song and dance together in a circle. The Miz looks on from outside with a single tear running down his cheek.)
i said this last week, but I seriously think we should all consider it.
Leave our significant others aside for a week ( unless they’re down to join the idiocy), and have a whole section of Wrestlemania next year for withleather folks. We can party for a few days, then raise hell at the event. I’d save up for that.
I’m in.
I gotta pay my rent first. Otherwise I’d be down.
It’s in New York, which is as close as it’s ever gonna get to DC, to I’m in, too.
Isn’t 2500 the number of catchphrases the rock must say each week?
2011 – Cena wants to jizz on Rock’s chest
2012 – Cena wants to take a shit on Rock’s chest
…character development?
I will attack everyone next Monday! WE NEED 2500!!!
Both you and brian did a great job getting us to 2500. Well done.
we warriors.
2500!
I wish I was like Leonard from “Memento” so I would have already forgotten The Rock Concert
The Rock had a concert tonight?!
Don’t Believe Rock’s Lies…
oh btw, I can officially confirm lester & i CRUSHED cena & rock.
boom.
yeah you guys did! I’m disappointed Afternoon Delight never responded to me.
Eastern. How about yourself sir?
AZ. we don’t play with time out here in the Wild Wild West.
I’m in AZ too! Wanna go to a Yotes game and carry my drunk ass around? lol
Joelski- I believe we’ll both get drunk
we’ll ride the rail!
Brian, what time zone are you in?
C’mon people! 9 more to hit 2500!!
ugh come on guys… 11 more for 2500!! hang in there with me
YEAH BRIAN!!!
Somewhat related: If you enjoy the pro graps and the rap muziks, Action Bronson is absolutely killing it with the wrestling references right now. “Blue Chips” >>>>>
what makes it worse is that I think Rock will win.
I somehow hurt my shoulder hating the Rock concert.
weird.. it’s just my brain and my heart that hurt.
I think I needed the pain to get my mind off the anger.
Cena would be a lot better in this feud if his promos weren’t super serious guy GRRRR THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME and then as soon as the Rock shows up he’s yucking it up and not reciprocating. The first rule of improv is “Yes, and…” meaning you support what your partner is doing and you don’t lock them out. That is exactly what Cena does everytime the two interact. Basically, he’s shit.
I think part of that can be blamed on the fact that all The Rock gives him to work with is “you wear colorful clothes and you’re gay with no penis.”
what brian said.
rock hasnt had a constructive point to make in 11 months. at least cena’s case has developed.
Looks like The Rock isn’t afraid of the Robot on the cover of News of the World. Though I wish the Robot would squish him like he did Freddie Mercury, what isn’t that how he died?
I thought he walked into the sea on the cover of Made In Heaven.
Here’s $50, I’m buying this album…
It’s not the sea, it’s Lake Geneva. But yeah, that’s how he died, he walked into a sea of gay dudes and didn’t leave until they gave him every STD in the book. You know which book.
I declare John Cena the winner of the rock/rap battle because his promo was so much shorter.
That was fun. Well except for HHH, HBK, Taker and Rocky killing the show, the audience and the viewers’ collective will to live.
Thanks everyone for another great Raw Open Discussion. I look forward to next week’s Raw Group Therapy so we can all come to terms with what The Rock did to our ears, our hearts and Rock ‘n Roll.
Damnit I always forget about the open threads.
Comments I made that other people seemed to think were funny:
-Rock can do his own throwback by putting on a track suit and hitting Cena with a chair 800,000 times.
Shawn Michaels just hit Triple H with the “I can’t talk to him, I’ll see you when you come to bed, go deal to your son” look.
BIG TWIST: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IS CM PUNK’S DAD
I feel like every fan of WHITE COLLAR hates the Rock.
WWE is eating their cake: getting people who haven’t watched since ’01 clapping w/ the Rock, Cena for folks who actually watch.
[I'm sorry I wasn't here I wish I was, I'll try to remember next week and actually earn a place with funny things]
i hate the rock.
i hate white collar. (i’ve never seen white collar so naturally i hate by default)
Hold on a minute here. I’m one of those who haven’t watched since around 2001. Don’t loop me in with the rest of those who were kinda not really singing along at home.
To be fair, I was out from spring ’01 to last summer, I just mean that seemingly everyone I talk to getting back in because of this feud are just like THE ROCK IS JUST AS FUNNY AS ALWAYS AWW SHIT and won’t hear anything you say about what Cena may or may not be doing.
Want to feel better?
[www.youtube.com]
I love everyone here, shine on you crazy diamonds.
How long did the show run over?
15 minutes
I can’t promise I’ll be here next week- I think I hit a vein.
I enjoyed the Rock concert because A: I enjoy things and B: I don’t over analyze everything to the point where they become unenjoyable. Yes, he called Cena gay again but seriously, would you guys rather have PG tip-toeing? I enjoy seeing the Rock have fun and I am glad that the Rock is back. I don’t give a fuck if that makes me less of a wrestling fan or smark or whatever.
It doesn’t!
Enjoy! :D
you can enjoy whatever you want.
we’ll just keep enjoying the good stuff.
I look forward to enjoying 3 more weeks of Rock taking 20 minutes to call Cena gay instead of wrestling matches.
Yeah, we will totally respect you for liking whatever you like (especially if it’s RING KA KING) but that respect should be reciprocated by you understanding why we don’t like what The Rock is doing. There’s a lot more to dislike than “Rock made gay jokes and we’re all butt hurt gay activists”.
The past few weeks I have been on board with the Rock is tanking crew. But I feel like tonight was different. He was having fun and I enjoyed watching it. I understand why people don’t like it, I do. I just feel like the people that hate it far outweigh the amount of people that enjoy it and that is intimidating to someone who actually did enjoy it. Regardless, I will take the Rock on tv as opposed to Rock not being on tv.
That’s totally legit, Gavin. You should never be afraid to like something. Everyone here is excited about wrestling because of really stupid things (ass shirt, Swagger’s hair) so you shouldn’t be ashamed to like something designed for people to like.
Honestly, The Rock wasn’t great but I thought tonight would be a lot worse. My only beef with what The Rock did tonight was that it went on far too long. Cena was right to GTFO after 5 minutes.
Thanks, Stinger. And for the record, my favorite thing of the night was still Thieves Guild Undertaker. Why is being bald that big of a deal when it is on your magazine cover?
So many bests wrapped in so many worsts tonight… I can’t wait for B&W tomorrow. You guys are hilarious, just from going back and reading.
Dude, even brandon won’t be able to wrap his head around this one. The bests were great, and the worsts were incredibly terrible.
I think brandon’s gonna be up late taking crazy pills. Godspeeed, Brandon.
you guys complete me with your Rhodesness
my dream for next week: Rock comes out, ‘cena gay loser blah blah’ then suddenly
BLEEP BLEEP
secret raw gm message, cole stands up confused, reads it: ‘shut the f*** up, dwayne’, out comes scsa kick wham stunner /promo
Well at least the silver lining of tonight is that Lawler got to have, what I imagine, was an amazing orgasm.
Lest us not forget that an hour and forty minutes of that Raw was terrific, which is pretty amazing by current standards.
You are all wonderful, a +Rhodes to every one of you.
This is a long con, right? The Rock is being this godawful just so that we (and assumedly people who give more of a damn about who wins) don’t get megapissed with him winning the Actual Match? I don’t think the payoff is what he thinks it is.
im in a twitter war right now with my friend who basically refuses to take off his rock shirt. didnt even see the show tonight, but hes in full defense mode saying “hes just doing this to put cena over. its not that he only has tranny jokes, he just only uses tranny jokes and thats the brilliance”
Get new friends.
On Backstage Fallout, they are currently interviewing the shark because of that serious jumping that just occurred in that very ring.
Well on the bright side, the first hour and 50 minutes were pretty solid. It’s been fun chatting with you guys, cya’s next week!
oh yeah, everyone get ready for a Rock promo in front of the Rocky statue next week!
Attorney Otunga just told me not to shower for purposes of verifying Rock’s DNA in my eye and ear cavities….the ass stuff was consensual
Remember when The Rock used to have to say “This isnt sing-along with The Great One” to try to shut up a crowd? Now he cant even get em to sing-along with a full on Titan Tron Karaoke set up.
You lose.
Ah, but that’s Heel Rock. Face Rock wants to lead all the singalongs.
I hope the post-show dark match was The Rock vs. The Crowd.
+1
To put it in perspective, The Rock spent more time singing about “john cena gay” than it would take to read all the “john cena gay” comments on WL ever in a row. And the latter would be far more entertaining because none of us are Dwayne goddamn Johnson
April 2nd, Jericho interrupts Rock’s promo to inform us all that his dad is gay.
+1
I’m going to go make a Bloody Mary as big as my bath tub. Hopefully that erases this entire thing from my memory.
Have a good night, y’all.
Everyone start mass tweeting Otunga saying that we all want to sue the WWE for “brain rape.”
I actually tweeted Brandon to see if he thought we could tweet Otunga to sue for emotional damages caused by THIS BUSINESS. I should have saved it for now because I lost my health insurance today and I’m still not sure if that was worse than this.
@DavidOtunga the WithLeather universe would like to file a class action lawsuit against WWE and The Rock for “brain rape”
AAAAAAND back to the secret cutting.
fuck man you too? I thought I was alone in this.
Secret?
WWEShop should start selling Rock-branded box cutters, apparently.
It WAS secret. Now it’s all out there!!
“Graabba beyah misha tass. Gonna beat your ass. Ashuh woopa dongle bookin…ell what The Rock is cookin.”