All four No. 1 teams remain as the Sweet 16 is ready for Thursday’s NCAA Tournament action, and I’d say that’s pretty remarkable considering how crazy these games have been. Two 2-seeds and two 3-seeds have been booted, and a few of them were heavy favorites to win it all – especially by one certain jackass, who had Missouri defeating Florida State in the National Championship game. Ha, I mean who could be that stupid? *loosens tie, looks around nervously*

But you guys, you’re the real prognosticators, as there were 8 freaking upsets on Friday and 22 commenters correctly guessed 5 of them. Well, 22 people guessed the winners and 2 people didn’t bother including scores, so *fart noise* to them. Unfortunately, the rules only permitted 5 winners. Hmmm, 5 upsets and just 5 t-shirts, I wonder if that means that the prediction with the closest score from each upset wins a t-shirt. Yes, that’s exactly what it means.

Without further ado, Friday’s big swag winners are:

NC State 79, SDSU 65: “Guest” (71-67)
Ohio 65, Michigan 60: “Starks” (64-58)
Purdue 72, St. Mary’s 69: “SenatorThimble” (74-66)
USF 58, Temple 44: “UFGrad” (60-53)
Xavier 67, ND 63: “Mighty914″ (69-65)
UPDATE: “Mattox” had Lehigh over Duke. And “Codename Duchess” also had the closer score on Xavier over ND, so you two email me addresses and shirt sizes. Apologies.

(Disclaimer: Previous shirt winners were excluded, not that it really mattered.)

Congrats, you Miss Cleos, and email me your addresses and shirt sizes to BurnsyWL@gmail.com. All you other disenfranchised and discouraged Nostradamuses, keep your chins up, because we’ll be back Thursday with another giveaway. There will be t-shirts (including the most limited edition vintage style) and possibly much, much more, pending the results of my robot that was designed to steal Kate Upton’s underwear. Oh no, why did I give it the ability to sniff?

Leave your expressions of rage, rotten produce and stories of bracket pool grief in the comments.

(Original banner via Getty.)