"Ladies and gentlemen, if the husband is a dipsh*t, you must acquit."

As the 2011-12 NBA season has now lasted longer than his marriage to Kim Kardashian, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries will soon head to court to convince a judge to grant an annulment instead of proceeding with an actual divorce. Kardashian, on the other hand, hired divorce attorney Laura Wasser, who previously helped Maria Shriver, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie take their famous husbands to the cleaners.

Humphries originally wanted to be represented by his family’s attorney in Minnesota – and broadcast the hearing to show us all the real “reality” – but California law requires someone from that state, so instead of finding his own big gun to fire back against Wasser, he’s going in the complete opposite direction – by representing himself. So what does Michael Bluth expect to get out of playing Matlock?

“Kris would like there to be an admission that there was fraud, that there was a malicious intention by the Kardashians to use Kris and to make money and benefit themselves from him ,” says the source. “He wants them to publicly admit that they never intended for it to be a real marriage.” (Via Hollywood Life)

Yeah, good luck with that, dude. Here’s a quick prediction of how Wasser will prepare Kardashian:

Wasser: “Can you cry on command?”
Kardashian: “I’m not sure, I’m not an actress or singer or person with discernible talent.”
Wasser: “Pretend that Nicki Minaj’s cousin just refused to make a sex tape with you.”
Kardashian: *screams out in agony*
Wasser: “Your honor, my client is the victim.”