"Yes, you - the lowly, pathetic ant in the back of the room pretending like I should even acknowledge you."
In case you were trying to block it out of your mind, or if you have simply pretended that the Super Bowl hasn’t had a halftime show since 2004, Madonna is performing a 12-minute set at Super Bowl XLVI on Sunday. As if it wasn’t bad enough that the NFL believed that we wanted to see a 53-year old woman in fishnet stockings perform osteoporosis-friendly dance moves while lip syncing 30-year old songs, she also had a chance to speak with reporters yesterday in Indianapolis, and I hate to say it, but I think we’ve had Madge all wrong.
Golly, I reckon she’s just a small town girl tryin’ to make a dream come true so she can tell her pa that she finally made it, gosh darn shuck ‘em.
“This is a Midwesterner girl’s dream to be performing at the Super Bowl halftime show,” said Madonna, who was born in Bay City, Michigan.
“In over 25 years of performing that I’ve done, I have never worked so hard or been so scrupulous or detail-oriented or freaked out as much as I have … trying to make the most major show at this Super Bowl,” she added. (Via Reuters)
I can’t even imagine the insane prep work that goes into picking out a medley of old songs and sending them to a producer with a note that reads: “Make modern, K?” Luckily, she’s receiving some performance help from younger, hipper artists like Cee Lo Green, Nicki Minaj and LMFAO. So basically, you could staple live squirrels to your nude body and you still wouldn’t be the worst dressed person at the Super Bowl.
But we’re being too tough on Madonna, who spent at least a decade pretending to be British. This performance, she said, is the one thing that she’ll have done in her career that her father would be most proud of. When asked for comment, her father’s spirit responded, “Yeah, no sh*t.”
(For further reading and reasons to think that this woman is completely out of touch, please check out this post at The Superficial from yesterday.)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/Dolphins-Cheerleaders-18-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/BUTTHEAD-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/taiwan-animation-redskins-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/kluwe-lbgt-pride-180x180.jpg)
Yes, Madonna’s just like us — sculpted manly arms and the mouth of a sailor.
Leave the sailors alone; they are just trying to serve their country.
If I had three wishes, the first would be to watch Madonna die in a fire.
My second and third would be to see it again.
So which younger, hotter starlet is she gonna make out with this time? Betty White?
Sorry. I was trying to respond to my comment, not yours.
Your joke was solid.
Nevermind. My comments got fixed. Not sure what happened there.
I’ll excuse myself.
GG; that is +1, gold.
Up With People for the fourth time of GTFO.
*or*
Dammit.
A 50+ divorced Italian woman with a overgorwn sense of self-importance with a fake English accent and from Detroit-where do we sign up for that kind of entertainment? I can smell the Marlboro Lights merely looking at that Iggy-before-rehab visage.
This act is way better when Lady Gaga does it.
At least she waxes her mustache…
I hear she’s remaking Metallica’s “Unforgiven” and starring in the video as the old man.
This is the black eyed peas fault for sucking.
My friends told me about—onenightcupid.c/0/m—. She told me it is the best place to seek no-strings-attached fun and short-term relationship. I have tried. It is fantastic! Tens of thousands pretty girls and cute guys are active there. You wanna get laid tonight? Come in and give it a shot, you will find someone you like there. Have fun! :D
It’s cool that Madonna would post here tho….
I was eating lunch on Friday. The NFL Network was on the television in the restaurant with no sound. I saw a 53-year-old woman step out from behind the pdium, dance, then step behind the podium and clap like a three-year-old.
“, or if you have simply pretended that the Super Bowl hasn’t had a halftime show since 2004″
Once again, I feel compelled to point out that Prince kicked the shit out of all Half Time shows ever.
which just pisses me off even more. He proved you can indeed put on a great show, even in the post-Nipplegate era. They go with this safe, radio friendly tame bullshit.
Egregious error on my part. Prince was incredible.