A while back I thought it might be fun to watch Khloe & Lamar and recap it for our readers and after a whopping two episodes I gave up, because there was only so much I could take of scripted love and Lamar Odom’s best friend, Jamie Sangouthai, who it the real life Turtle from Entourage. You guys could have threatened my life for not providing recaps anymore and I would have just said, “Tough yeti titties.”

It’s also important to point out that I now try very hard to pretend that this show doesn’t exist, because I want the Kardashians to be concealed in ice and fired into the Marianas Trench, only to be sealed with an ancient Incan curse. But it’s futile, because every so often they do something that is either so insane or trashy and I just can’t ignore it. Enter: The Khloe and Lamar sex swing.

Khloe and Lamar are obviously very open about their sex life, and I can’t even describe how much that shrinks my stomach. Seriously, screw eating disorders. Just think about Khloe strapped into a swing, hanging from her ceiling while Lamar dances around in gym shorts as some sort of mating ritual. Having trouble picturing that?

Here. WATCH A VIDEO OF IT.