I once thought that a great idea for a magazine would be Haters – “The publication devoted to people who hate sh*t.” It was my billion dollar idea until I learned that things take effort and I hate that sh*t. But lately I’ve realized that my idea would have just been a knock off of the magazine that already has hate down pat – Forbes.
When it’s not busy hating people who don’t have money, Forbes is going out of its way to compile lists of people and things that we all hate. This week, it’s the annual list of the Most Hated Athletes in America. Sure, they call it the Most Disliked Athletes, but read between the capitalist lines, amigos.
So who, pray tell, are the most heinous and villainous prick athletes in all of the land, Forbes?
1) (Tie) Michael Vick and Tiger Woods – 60%
2) Plaxico Burress – 56%
3) Ndamukong Suh – 51%
4) Kris Humphries – 50%
5) LeBron James – 48%
6) (Tie) Kobe Bryant and Terrell Owens – 45%
7) Alex Rodriguez – 44%
8) Kurt Busch – 42%
Suh and Humphries are the newcomers, while James and Rodriguez have slipped a little. Obviously, they need to stop being all good and stuff and go out there and start kicking some puppies, stomping heads and/or dating Kardashians or else they may fall completely out of the Top 10, and even worse – they could be liked.
But let’s focus on Vick, who has tried very hard over the past two seasons to excel on the field so people will stop remembering him as that guy who electrocuted Fido. It might be time to hire a new PR firm, Mike.
Vick, who has led a lot of these lists over the past couple of years, continues to struggle with casual NFL fans who know him mainly for his dog fighting legal mess, even as close followers of the sport love him. Vick’s high awareness number (42%) suggests he’s a known quantity outside the hardcore NFL crowd. “His awareness is up there with Peyton Manning, but a lot of it is people knowing him for the wrong reasons,” says Stephen Master, VP of Sports for Nielsen.
It’s obvious that Forbes and Nielsen need to create the first ever Hate Hall of Fame and retire Vick from these rankings already. It’s not fair to Suh and Humphries, who, while on this list for entirely different reasons, have tried so damn hard to make people loathe their idiocy. It’s time for a new guard, people. I hate this redundant sh*t.
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“…but a lot of it is people knowing him for the wrong reasons,”
This is maybe the worst way to say this ever. We know him for the things he did. That’s not a wrong reason.
The “close followers of the sport love him” line is crucial. The reason those close followers love him is because they value what happens on the football field more than they value what happens in real life. That’s their prerogative, I guess, but it’s not one I’m gonna share.
You keep saying that, but I’m not sure it’s a correlation you can make.
As reasonably intelligent people, you and I can agree to disagree about whether Vick paid for his crimes through a mixture of jail time, public humiliation, and bankruptcy. We can disagree about whether his actions since constitute a legitimate admission of fault/guilt and an attempt to make things right or if they are a highly contrived series of PR moves designed to make him palatable to casual to NFL fans. Those are all things we can reasonably disagree on.
On the other hand, I think the assertion “people who follow the NFL closely and also like Mike Vick care more about football than animal welfare” is a pretty wild accusation to make. If you told me that I could go back in time and stop the whole dog fighting thing somehow but in exchange the Bills would have to go 0 – 16 for the next 2, 3, 4 seasons I’d take you up on that offer in a heartbeat. I suspect a lot of other close followers of the sport would as well.
Regardless of my opinion of Vick, I think insinuating that people who like him are all animal cruelty apologists who don’t care what athlete X does to puppies off the field is basically an ad hominem attack without much logical or empirical support. If you want to say that Vick should have done more time, that he should have been given a harsher post-prison penalty, or etc… that’s fine. Broadly suggesting serious NFL fans don’t care about animal cruelty because they’ve chosen to forgive or tolerate Vick doesn’t wash, and it’s a little insulting to those of us who both care about our pets and love the NFL. Imagine if I suggested that unless you had donated as much money to the ASPCA and spent as much time volunteering at animal shelters as you had spent on wrestling merch + time spent at shows, you cared more about wrestling than animal welfare. That argument is equally specious and borderline offensive.
I’d respectfully ask you reconsider your opinion, you’ve always struck me as a reasonable guy.
I’m a close follower of the sport. Michael Vick can go choke on a bag of wangs.
I’m a “close follower of the sport,” and I’ve never even LIKED Vick–even before Dogfightinggate.
I actively root for him to fail, but mainly because I’m a contrary cuss who thinks that he gets waaay too much media attention and accolades for being a running QB. And when I think of his “redemption,” I think of all the animals who are still dead, despite his “redemption.”
Not a single person I know loves Vick so much that they dismiss his criminal past–in fact, quite the opposite. The most rabid NFL fans I know despise Vick, mainly because of the dogfighting.
Obviously the people who were polled have never heard of AJ Pierzynski.
Forgot to add that I hope there is a new Dugout coming soon.
I have to imagine the people who answer these surveys are the same 25,000 nielson households so the only person they universally love is Tom Osbourne (note I assume ratings are determined by everyone in Nebraska)
Peter King is astonished the Red Sox pitching staff isn’t #1 for the high crimes of eating chicken and drinking beer. Not even citrusy beer!
Cheating on your wife: as bad as murdering animals. Yay!
How is Terrell Owens still on the list? And what would it take to get Josh Lueke on it?
I’d still like.. I mean LOVE to see him die
I hate Michael Vick becausr by what means did an NFL QUARTERBACK have to fight dogs? Hes fucking rich. He was caught by the police playing golf. He gave a HORRIBLE name to Pit Bulls. But people still love him because he can throw a ball. Im sorry, but if it were someone you didnt know on the news who did this you would be shaking your head…. but people were like “Nooo! Don’t throw Vick in jail. We need him! Screw the dogs, they’re just wortheless animals.”….. Again, I go back to the question, why did he need to fight dogs in the first place? Because having a thousand dollar NFL contract isnt enough? Or was torturing dogs just a hobby?… The point is tha he had absolutely NO reason to fight dogs… He did it for the reason to see creatures fight and suffer as if it were a sport. If it weren’t Michael Vick, everyone would agree with me. Also, his jersey is in the Football Hall of Fame when it shouldn’t be. So yes. I still hate Vick. You would too if you see the effects of dog fighting and if you had to euthanize dogs that humans fought. People hate Pit Bulls. So I hate Vick. If people can hate a dog, I can hate a dick… Simple.As.That.