Best: As God As My Witness, He’s Fallen Almost Two Feet
I’m giving Zack Ryder’s Chokeslam ALL THE WAY T’HELL a Best because the smarkier gent inside of me loves it when they do prop falls, then immediately discredit them with too many camera angles. See also: WWF’s late-90s obsession with dumpsters full of packing peanuts, various stage and Titantron bumps onto carefully arranged cardboard boxes, Triple H being chokeslammed from a scaffold onto comfy mattresses at Wrestlemania X-7, etc.
At first, the image is that Zack Ryder has been chokeslammed onto the stage so hard that he’s broken it and gone through it, presumably to the floor (and/or production equipment) below. That’s the image you should stay with, and if they’d kept the cameras at stage level and shown people reacting to Zack’s presumably mangled body it could’ve been really effective. Unfortunately they did that thing they always do where they can’t resist rubbernecking, so they zoom in to him sprawled out on the ground with EMTs stretching him up, and the one EMT is bent over and his ass is higher than the stage. So basically Ryder got chokeslammed onto a surface that gave way, causing him to fall another… what, foot and a half? To the floor with stuff under him.
What we develop in our imagination is sometimes better than the payoff. It’s why The Blair Witch Project worked and those Sarah Michelle Gellar/Kristen Bell horror movies where blue monster babies crawl out of the walls or whatever don’t. Although the same people who were yelling THEY AIN’T EVEN SHOW THE WITCH would’ve probably jumped on WWE Social to post THEY AIN’T EVEN SHOW HIS BODY, so whatever, he’s dead and we can move on.
Best? Worst?: Cena’s Reaction To Ryder
I thought this was the peak of Cena’s acting, but then they took a commercial break and let him prep for the Josh Mathews interview. Anyway, the upside of Cena’s shock and awe is that I couldn’t decide whether he was:
1. Selling the severity of Zack Ryder’s injury, i.e. “oh no how could a man do this to another man”, or
2. Going “oh my God, this is exactly like what I did to Batista, I’m a f**king monster”
Number one would be sh*tty and give us “Cena embraces hate because he hates Kane so much”. That’s the easy out, and probably what they’re doing. The second one is incredible and gives us “Cena embraces hate because he hates himself”. It builds on the stuff CM Punk was accusing him of when he was cool a year and a half ago circa the New Nexus (“you beat Batista but it wasn’t enough, you had to go too far and put him through the stage”). Cena is an unstoppable monster incapable of showing human emotion or knowing when he turn it off. This could be why he reacts to Zack Ryder the way he does… like the T-800 trying to say “no problemo” to John Conner because that’s what a 90s teen’s idea of cool sounds like.
Cena could effectively turn heel without changing at all. He just keeps coming out in bright shirts with dumb slogans, throwing his hat, breaking people in half effortlessly and crushing their heads with 10,000 pound ring steps because he hates himself, but can’t escape that hate because all he knows how to be is himself. Do it. Do iiiiiiit.
AND UP NEXT: CENA MAEKS POOPIES >=(
You aren’t going to do it, are you.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1245/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/the-bella-twins-and-jill-thompson-yes-t-shirt-gallery-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/starring-brock-lesnar-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wwe-promo-photos-5-30-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/new-jack-daily-show-180x180.png)
FIRSTIES
first
fuck, beaten
MAEK POOPIES
I look forward to the retro recap. I can only hope you go back a bit farther.
Also I barely made it through the last Triple H run on Raw…this might be the end for me.
New Nexus started a little after TLC 2010. So, it was only about a year ago.
I’ve barely gone through the 1st BEST and I’m already dying of laughter, thank you for “Virginasaurus” Brandon :D
Two Issues with the Ryder/Eve/Cena thing last night.
1.) That first part where the three of them are talking backstage, I was pretty damned amazed at how bad those line readings were. It was like each of them was a half-assed scene partner helping the other rehearse for a part.
2.) Was there really no other way to get Cena to the “embrace the hate” face other than having a random reporter just standing back there waiting for everyone else to finish their dialog?
that picture is THE BEST like Big Chief.
Damn it random Yeah Yeah Yeah references make Maps play on a loop in my head.
When’s the last time Dolph Ziggler didn’t get a best? I’m not saying I disagree with you; I’m disagreeing with the booking going into the Punk/ ZIggler match.
Long time reader, and first time commenter? I know that sounds weird lol Anyway Brandon I wanted to thank you for always bringing a joy to my Tuesday’s. I love your review and you’ve actually inspired me to write a review of my own. I hope its okay to leave a link to my blog on here. If its not, I will certainly take it down. Either way, thanks for the laughs buddy!
[erock142wrestling.blogspot.com]
What medical professional is contacting Jerry fucking Lawler right away with the diagnosis of a man that has no relation at all to him? And what doctor says “Hey King, yeah, Ryder broke his back”? A broken back? I don’t think that that’s a real thing that doctors say.
In the Ryder/Kane match (around 1:30 or so in the vid), the crowd is chanting for a Ryder comeback. Then he starts a comeback and nobody’s paying attention.
Yeah, I’m really tired of CM Punk. When he sat cross-legged I rolled my eyes because he was clearly attempting to evoke his initial mythic appearance but I knew this was a totally different Punk, one that whines about women and invokes things typically associated with women to whine about men.
I know, that’s the worst part about it. It reminds you of something great, then reminds you of everything else.
I’m in the same boat.
So does Ryder just tape his ribs/back for the rest of his career ala DDP?
1. I’m glad Cole is marking out for Funkasaurus now. Wasn’t he anti-Funk initially?
2. Love for Regal is absolutely the acid test for smark status. Also, Love For Regal would make a great podcast name.
3. Triple H really is going to ruin everything, isn’t he?
Regal is alright, but Matt Hardy is and always better. I am irrational about this.
As always, great work! Lowest common denominator or not, it’s still a better way to kill 2 hours on Monday night than trying to shave tribal symbols into the neighbor’s cat.
HAHAHA holy crap the first immediate thing that came to mind when I saw the Cena maeking poopies face was that he looked like Vigo and then on the next page you made it come true.
I would pay money to see Regal just continually drop rapper references on Raw to mess with Cole and Lawler’s philistine brains. I will settle for Childish Gambino or Shabazz Palaces next week. Regal calling Funkasaurus a ‘corny n***a’ would make my whole year.
Scratch that, I just want him and Jericho to have casual banter for two hours, where Chris just goes yeah at whatever Regal says.
Great work again, Brandon.
I think you may have created the best WWE commentary team ever.
YEAH BABY YEAH!
Umm, if it makes you feel better, don’t you think Triple H sounds like Comic Book Guy?
Honestly I thought it was a pretty neat show. I mean, John Laurinaitis might be the worst actor in the world but I guess you can’t take camp seriously. So awful that he goes full circle and becomes hilarious. You’re not even that mad at him so you feel good when Punk beats him up and gives him th GTS. Its like, hey man, why?
Someone tell Miz to take off the goggles when spraytanning cause holy shit dude.
That Maria/worst line reading mashup made my goddamn day. Thank you
Holy shit I didn’t see that skateboard.
I missed it too. I’d blame it on being sick and just half watching the show, but I’m pretty sure it could have been there for the last month and I would have missed it because I’m bad at spotting details.
i didn’t either. Consider me converted to a Big Johnny fan, Brandon. Still didn’t realize that there was 1.5 slam-ish moves in the Kane match. One was a chokeslam, the other was slamming Zack into the ring post.
I love that Big Johnny’s old gimmick is that guy from T&C Surf Design and he still has the skateboard.
maybe the best reference ever
1. The Best and Worst should totally do something Sunday where everyone predicts their final 2 in the Rumble match. It would be interesting to see how predictable we think this is and then compare it with reality.
2. Pretty excited I made the top comment from last night.
3. Hoping that at the RR Cena just goes ape shit and pins Kane in like 5 minutes. This will be the first PPV I have ordered in years.
As soon as I saw Cena make that face, I started laughing in anticipation of the forthcoming maek poopies joke. Great read as always.
Best moments from this week’s Raw: Regal on commentary, Brodus Clay, who I still maintain looks like an adult baby in a onesie, and Johnny Ace’s stoic acceptance of the GTS.
If the Funkasaurus is “in captivity”, do you think his entrance music is a desperate plea to let his mother know what happened to him and to let her know he’s okay?
GOD I HOPE SO!
I hope Brandon does an edit of the article just to acknowledge this comment.
Thank God it was you, Brandon Stroud, who also noticed Regal’s Grandmaster Flash reference. I thought I was the only one.
Yeah, no plans for Rumble, Brandon? That’d be fun.
I’m going to do an open discussion thread for it and a Best And Worst report the next day.
Titties.
Very funny column, Brandon. Reading your column made me realize something that watching Raw last night had me miss: it was a boring and mediocre show. Wrestling is at its best when it’s terrible or great, but last night was just mediocre. There’s some nuggets of greatness (#bigjohnny and Jericho are simply the best) but besides that it was just boring.
I’m also thinking a lot about Punk. I was a big Punk fan years ago and have really liked almost everything he’s done. He’s just not working for me now and I think I figured out why. Punk is a revolutionary and he’s won. Not just that, he’s made it very clear that any lever of influence those in charge could use would have no effect on him since he doesn’t care. He can say “Fuck it”, and leave whenever he wants. It’s impossible to have a meaningful confrontation with him now. Instead, Punk’s character has become a smug woman hater on the verge of schizophrenia who still manages to get the crowd behind him in the worst possible way.
I’d rather Cena was lifetime WWE Champion if it meant Punk could go back to being an insurgent against a status quo we all pretend to hate.
good christ, AJ
qfe
Yeah I had to make sure my monitor wasn’t projecting images in widescreen. I will set my drink on that.
He’s feuding with Kane, of course he’s not gonna do it
What happened to the good ol days when the guys who would go against Kane or Undertaker knew they needed a couple of chair shots to win. I mean who goes against Kane mano y mano?
Oh man I wasn’t mentally prepared for Vigo the Carpathian.
The thing that drives me nuts about the Kane-Ryder-Cena thing is that they messed with a good thing by trying to do too much. Kane kicking the hell out of Ryder while Cena can’t get involved is a good way to get where they’re trying to go. But having Eve wander around looking vaguely upset and having Cena do the hand-over-mouth move through an entire commercial break while they take the Blue Blazer costume off Ryder is just more than they should be trying to do given how fucking bad these people are at conveying emotions. Keep it simple. Chris Jericho can do those things almost effortlessly, but they can’t all be him. Let the rest do what they’re good at: 1) telling basic, effective stories centered around pretending to beat each other up, or 2) coochie-popping.
I agree, 85. The upside to all this is that they’re managing to cram more and more people I really don’t care about into one storyline so there’s a better chance I can enjoy the other schlock without it being interrupted by Cena or Eve or Ron Paul 2012 Kane.
That’s pretty much my entire problem with the whole storyline. I don’t really mind where it’s going, if that’s what they want to do, but why let Kane ramble on the mic for 15 minutes? Why take 15 minutes wheeling out Ryder and making Cena and Eve act when they could have done that during the commercial break and just show us a 30 second update afterwards? If you give them that much rope they’re more than likely going to hang themselves with it.
When Punk got Johnny up for the GTS it was like he was Kim Catrall in Mannequin and Hollywood just entered the room. Punk is all, no really Otunga! I swear he was just alive!
Every time I look at that Exploding Head GIF, I have to resist the urge to do that Funkasaurus thing where he puts one hand on his chest, looks into the hard camera and mouths “FOR ME?!?” with an amazed expression on his face.
Seriously, Brandon – I’m touched. Or at least as touched as a person can be by an animated picture of an exploding head. It’s almost enough to make me forget that next Monday, the only interesting, nuanced character on WWE programming NOT named Daniel Bryan is going to get murdered by that smug, condescending jackass.
Oh, and we’ll probably start moving towards HHH/’Taker II next week, too. So help me, if Ayches mouths “I’m sorry. I love you.” at ‘Taker before putting him down at ‘Mania, I’m done.
Best: Poochie references
Cena the Cruel, Cena the Torturer, Cena the Despised, Cena the Unholy!
First, wishing a speedy recovery to Jim Ross. I’m thankful that his Escalade took the brunt of the damage.
Nextly,
Since noone asked, I’m offering up 3 “wildcard” Rumble entrants. (this is difficult because apparently EVERY WWE Superstar is now eligible(?)).
1. Goldust (his sole assignment – eliminate Cody)
2. Rikishi (Cole mentioned he was backstage at Smackdown last week so I’m running with it – It’ll take both of his sons to eliminate him. Ooh. Maybe THEN they can lose the apostrophe)
3. Undertaker (Should come in at #30 after Kane has cleared the ring down to about 10 people. Good night, Kane.)
FINAL TWO: Undertaker/Jericho
WINNER OF THE ROYAL RUMBLE (MATCH): Undertaker
I’m with you on this. I was thinking the same thing the other day… I’m also secretly hoping that one of the surprise random entrants will be Tajiri.
Well I guess it’s not so secret anymore.
Breaking your back is a serious injury that could lead to him living the rest of his life paralyzed. But I don’t see him being out 8 weeks
Maybe William Regal is like Aquaman, in that hardcore fans like him.
Probably no chance Triple H comes out next week and tells Big Johnny he’s doig a surprisingly good job and that he’s now the permanent GM, then says “Oh by the way, I’m fighting Taker again, seeya at Mania everybody!” and leaves, is there?
As a consolation, I’ll accept Brodus GETTING HEEYIM.
I too have been well-trained, because my first thought when Cena made that face is OH NO >=(
Josh Mathews has turned into a little shithead, and I think the wrestlers should start actively responding to it and throwing him off loading docks/tossing him Nash-Rey style like a lawn dart into the side of moving trailers. That, combined with Michael Cole constantly putting him down and talking over him, should cause him to snap one day. He comes out on NXT, declares himself part of the competition, and Burning Hammers Byron Saxton. All this and more on my blog, “What Are You, Insane?”
I don’t know what the “everybody is eligible for the Rumble!” thing means either. Wasn’t it already established a couple weeks ago that Barrett, Sheamus, Mahal and Santino were gonna be in the Rumble? Did they do anything to qualify for it? Was there some litmus test I missed? Is it a random draw from the roster? Mick Foley’s not on the roster but he’s in it, so who exactly is eligible? There’s always a few guest stars, how did they become eligible? If there’s a procedure for determining who is eligible, then why not explain it? If it’s gonna be “the most unpredictable Rumble in history”, why don’t you just call it that and eliminate the arbitrary statements that don’t really accomplish anything? Most importantly, could Derrick Bateman be #30?
I think you’re right. Qualifying for the Royal Rumble should be like getting into the playoffs. The weeks leading up to it should be an excruciating experience for the wrestlers who are on the cusp. It can lead to interesting situations where two faces who are friends (maybe Kofi and Evan Bourne) need to have a match together and that match has a big impact on who goes into the Rumble.
There’s so much potential here for lots of dramatic elements. It’s a big storyline that everyone can be involved in and it can make Yoshi Tatsu and gang relevant. Hell, it could even get people interested in watching NXT and Superstars since those matches would have real meaning.
Instead, they just throw people into the Royal Rumble and make the whole thing *feel* fake and contrived.
Also, I kind of like Josh Mathews and Matt Stryker. I wish they were regular commentators.
Man, that would be so good. I really think that if the WWE put more structure to the product, with tournaments and “seasons” (even if it’s 2 or 4 seasons a year!), there would be so much pre-set drama (like the Stinger said), that doing the actual Drama would be so much easier.
Imagine a leage where you have to actually _compete_ with John Cena, who (as Punk once said) is the equivalent of the Yankees or the Patriots- he just steamrolls people. Then, you have to see midcard heels scared at the prospect of getting obliterated, midcard faces anxious for their shot against the man, and so on.
Even if the GM (or whatever random authority is around) can introduct wildcard elements or strike matches from the record every now and then, it would be worth watching. Hell, even if having a title let you decide what matches you took, or decide what type of match it would be, there’s another layer.
I just think about Shawn Michaels desperately trying to get into Wrestlemania to face ‘Taker, and the routes he took.Now, apply that to the whole damn roster trying to make it to the Playoffs (The Road to Wrestlemania, as the Stinger pointed out), or the Superbowl (‘Mania) or King of the Ring (March Madness)…
Damn.
Maybe R-Truth uses Little Jimmy and he leveled up and actually gets to pick stats…He obviously didn’t pick charisma.
I’m only halfway through but
“Wade. They Don’t Love You Like I Love You.”
…
That was amazing. If that song isn’t the imminent new entrance music Barrett mentioned on Twitter a couple of weeks ago, and if Yeah Yeah Yeahs don’t perform it live for him at Wrestlemania, I’m going to be so angry.
I’d like to say that the WWE likes to beat a dead horse, but that’s not exactly right. More accurately, they take a perfectly healthy horse and beat it to death. Dolph Ziggler does a handstand during a match….next week his titantron says SHOW OFF and Cole practically shits himself about how much of a SHOW OFF he is. A crazy R-Truth talking to an imaginary “Lil Jimmy”…now he’s a face and HEY KIDS, HERE’S A T-SHIRT. I know it’s pro wrestling and subtly has never been a strong point but for christ’s sake, not everyone watching your show is a moron.
Geez man, calm down.
That’s a real good point, Mr Steamboat.
How long until we get a new Daniel Bryan into and shirt to go along with his passive aggressive white knighting?
Bryan’s storyline has been done really well. I’d be pretty disappointed if they manage to screw it up at this point.
“One: the number of Royal Rumble winners we can’t tell you about because they murdered their family.”
This line made me die.
“This line made me die.”
- Nancy and Daniel Benoit
-2
Haha I just logged in to give this plus a million. Looks like you are still positive 999,998!
Cena killing the shit out of Kane at Royal Rumble should get a best. At no point in all of it should Kane do more than walk out and just let Cena pound the unmitigated shit out of him. And then Cena will rise above the hate, pull the rapidly cooling corpse of Kane on top of him for the three count, before dragging him to the stage and sending him back to the Hall of Pain where he’ll be stuffed and mounted, never to glovemouth or break the backskis of a broski again.
Punk, stop living up to that part of your name bro. I get that you’re trying to be edgy and all, but why don’t you be edgy by saying how much Big Johnny reminds you of your alcoholic dad who used to be all alcoholicy and shit around you and made you chose the path to becoming better than everyone, the best in the world. Don’t bully people kids, unless you hate them, then go for it.
That said, all good things, they come to an end. Goodbye Big Johnny, we hardly knew ya.
Cena’s got Carpathian kitten loss. He misses his kitten. Let’s put one here by the castle!
I wanted to send this comment via mimeograph but this will have to do. Nice writeup.
The second I saw the ‘Cena maek Poopies’ face on the show I knew I was going to see a beautiful screencap of it with that caption from you.
Excellent B&W again as always Brandon.
I really hope that no matter what they do at the Rumble and on Raw next week that we get to keep Johnny Ace around for many months to come, he really has been something specactular week in and week out.
Sorry I’m late…I just got back from church where I was praying that HHH doesn’t ever come back to TV. Ever.
Not even in Inside Out 2: Outside In?
Awesome that the Grimey reference worked for you, thanks for the nod.
Likewise, another great column, and I’m disappointed at how little I noticed about this show. Probably in keeping with STINGER’s statement that it was just mediocre and it was hard to keep paying attention. But I’m clearly a bad smark because I forgot that the guy who murdered his family won from #1 that year.
Cena as Vigo is the Bestiest Best of all Bests. If Peter MacNicol accompanies Cena to the ring I will eat my hat.
But yeah… Vigo the Cenpathian… Best. Forever. Can I hug you at Wrestlemania for that? Or at least buy you a churro?
The news could not be worse, Zack Ryder has…….A HERNIATED DISC.
Since he’s obviously Dothraki, would Tyler Reks send a raven to Big Johnny?
1) Fantastic as always
2) No! Test was my favorite!
3) “Septic Tripe?” William Regal is pretty much the greatest ever and I regret not appreciating him enough while he was around. Cue Cinderella.
So if I liked Regal back in WCW does that make me a hipster smark? A smarkster?
Is it me or did the tag match look like it was going at 1.5 speed?
I like how when there is a mad man from hell glovemouthing and chokeslamming people into the hospital no one is complaining about an “unsafe work environment”.
To answer your first question, it makes you “correct.” There is never a time too early to like Lord Steven/William Regal.
I can’t believe you didn’t give a best to Michael Cole for yelling “I’m on TV!” and waving his arms like a mad man when Jericho grabbed the camera. It’s the best thing Cole has ever done.
Amen.
I think the “best” thing Cole has ever done was to make transparent his base ambition on the most recent episode of NXT. To be fair it was an utterly terrible piece of episodic television but it was truly a glimpse behind the curtain of Cole’s stupidity.
Great work as always Brandon. I’m gonna have to dig around the basement to find some old posterboard to get an @mrbrandonstroud or WithLeather sign on TV for Raw next Monday. At least then something good can come out of HHH returning to shit the bed.
NWOSTINGER will be at the rumble Sunday and needs sign ideas.
@mrbrandonstroud #bigjohnny
I would also love having William Regal and Layla as my parents, except for the uncomfortable fact that I would want to bone my mom.
Also, we need a William Regal/Funkasauras feud, and we need it now.
Hierarchy of dancing:
Funkasauras dancing > Regal dancing > Rikishi dancing > Jonathan Coachman dancing > JR dancing.
Like: Cole’s staccato pronunciation of “Funk”-derivative move names for Brodus Clay to sound as close as possible to F-bomzzz. Dislike because I noticed it instantly: the non-hardcore-ness of the “falls count anywhere” match. Question: Did Sheamus’ match actually end with a pinfall for the first time in like a month?
And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were “Death is but a door. Time is but a window. This Fruity Pebble that you are dealing with …I’m not the average Jabroni. I’m like a big purple pinwheel so go ahead and blow me.”
Excellent as always.
Did no one else laugh out loud at Michael Cole waving his hands in the air and yelling “I’m on TV!” when Jericho took the camera from the camera man and panned it around? He stuck with it every time the camera came back to him, despite the King trying to explain to him he’s on TV every week.
Love the recaps. It adds a level of depth to the show that the performers themselves can’t seem to pull off. Seriously, is the level of acting really getting that bad or is my inner child just getting too old?
So. I’ve been thinking about this. CM Punk is Vince’s long-con burn/comment on President Obama, and that’s why the way his championship is playing out is bugging you. Think about the parallels- rises to power/prominence on the heels of a series of white-hot speeches about how he’s going to change things around and make his craft more “pure.” Once he is “elected”/wins, he comes up against an obstinate, obstructing force (Congressional Republicans/HHH) that blocks his ability to get anything meaningful done (blocked nominees/filibuster threats/twenty-ah-minute-ah-promos-ah-about-ah-how-ah-COOL-ah-I-ah-am).
So, in order to gain acceptance, he’s buddied up to said obstructing force too many times to count, giving the impression that he’s changed nothing despite evidence to the contrary (passing the stimulus bill, healthcare bill, and saving GM/ Punk/Bryan/Ryder Night of Champions). And his rhetoric has flagged a little during his reign. So now, it bears to be seen if Rumble will be Punk’s SOTU 2012, or if he’ll end up “voted out” at Wrestlemania.
/PoFlaWa engaged
“Also, when William Regal is not on screen, all the other characters should be asking ‘hey, where’s William Regal?’” A+ subtle Simpsons joke!
I really imagined #BigJohnny’s mind playing this out in slow motion to piano music, first person, as he slowly goes up into the sky, and then back down into an oncoming knee. Kinda like #4. He knew.
No one is going to mention Big Johnny’s “Future Endeavored” t shirt? WWE being ironic about the term future endeavored is the most insider/reality-esque thing they’ve done in the this supposed “reality era”
Jerry Lawler says during the Ryder/Kane match ” Why doesn’t ryder just try and go back to the ring” lol
Layla throwing her shoe at CM Punk was Peak Wrestling.
100% truth
Jinder Mahul is very clearly a future WWE Champion and Wrestlemania headliner.
Punk actually said he liked going to strip clubs, I remember watching the shoot a few weeks after school came back in.
I didn’t know big Johnny was so damn funny on Twitter. Now I know what the hell he’s doing with the phone ALL THE TIME. Now, if he only sold a GTS worth a shit (then again, at least the knee hit his face, as opposed to Cena repeatedly taking it with his chest).
Yes, the Ryder ending was horrible. And yes, dammit, I wanted Kane in that ambulance, and so did my friends I was watching with.
Complain about the Cena closeup face all you want, but it made a fucking great Vigo and I screenshotted your picture and headline, because that was awesome. Not awesome? Cena as Ryder’s older brother. That crap needs to stop.