I read through a lot of gossip sites and strange, random fan blogs each week, not because I want to actually know anything about the personal lives of fame-starved reality trolls, but because we like to make fun of really stupid stuff that people do. Thankfully, I didn’t have to go much further than NFL.com for this week’s most asinine celebrity idea, and of course it involves our favorite Man of Every Hour, Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow.
There’s no doubt that Tebow’s stock is higher than ever after the Broncos’ win over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday - even the mayor of Pittsburgh is Tebowing - and he has already been dealing with rumors that he may have been responsible for skier Lindsey Vonn’s recent divorce. So apparently that was enough for NFL.com to ask: “Hey, what if Tebow knocked up a bunch of married women? What would those little hell-bound, soulless bastards look like?”
And thanks to the site MorphThings.com, the fine folks at NFL.com got their answers. Their incredibly weird-looking, borderline creepy answers.
I'm pretty sure her husband would have Tebow killed.
I don't think Tebow fits her preferences, if you know what I mean.
Tebow would be in for one hell of a slap fight if he tried to take her away from Robert Pattinson. But even if he succeeded, that baby would be booooooooooooooring.
Lady Gaga Tweeted high praise for Tebow's success, but she's also huge with gay people. Tebow? Not so much.
I can't remember if she's still married to Brian Austin Green or not, but even Brady Quinn would be an upgrade.
I see what they did there.
I could sign on for this, only if: "Everyone in Mile High Stadium look under your seats..."
She'd only end up breaking his heart after she'd leave him to roll around on top of Sean Penn's old ass again.
Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing the Beliebers take on Tebow. Although, that might be worse than the Apocalypse.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Dolphins-Aircraft-Carrier-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/alex-karras-george-plimpton-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/JR-Smith-Louis-CK-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/fainting-goats5-180x180.gif)
If I were Tim Tebow, I would try my hardest to sleep with every single one of these women. Even Bachmann.
I feel weird broaching this subject because his penis isn’t my penis, but isn’t Tebow saving himself for marriage? Isn’t this professional athlete a virgin?
That’s why I said if I were Tebow. Tebow’s a kindhearted virgin waiting for marriage; I would be all up in Kristen Stewart’s guts.
Ahhh that’s why you said that.
Well at least I know who to consult regarding virgins.
Brandon: If you’re curious about her O-face, it’s probably not all that different.
He could marry all of them one at a time (not Mormon) then when he’s old he’d have no money, but he would have some nice memories and huge genital warts.
They didn’t even do one with Mariah Yeater “just in case”?
Emoticon-ly speaking, Tebow 8–>~ Sarah Jessica Parker ()< John Elway
Would the Megan Fox + Tim Tebow baby get her thumbs? Yikes.
What if he had a baby with Filmdrunk favourite, Melissa Lee Williams?
Links essentially work safe. (Language)
Hmm. They should have tried Stacey Dash.
We should all try Stacey Dash.
I like the idea that the scripture eye blacks are a part of tebows face so much so that they genetically show up in his children
*World Cup Skier Lindsay Vonn
Sorry, got her mixed up with that other girl, Shaun White.