Michael Jordan Apparently Didn’t Learn Anything From Michael Jordan

In yesterday’s Top Sports Moments of 2011 feature, I pointed out that New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter has already proven time and again that he does relationships right. While other athletes have been taken to the cleaners by their wives in divorces because of infidelities, Jeter just brings home whichever girl or girls he wants, does his thing and then sends them home with an autographed ball in the morning. And you would think that a guy as wealthy and smart as Michael Jordan would have caught on to that logic by now, but you’d be wrong.

Jordan proposed to his girlfriend of 3 years Yvette Prieto sometime around Christmas, and that’s a good thing if you’re into that whole “love” idea. But I’m a capitalist, and I know that if I had already lost $186 million in my first divorce (Jordan was married to his first wife Juanita for 18 years before they divorced in 2007), I wouldn’t be so quick to get married again, especially when I’m now worth billions and own a NBA franchise.

I know, I’m playing the role of Scrooge here, and I should be happy for Air Jordan that he found love again, this time with a smoking hot Cuban model. But I just can’t help but think that somewhere Kobe Bryant is reading this post and whispering, “You gotta be f*cking kidding me.”

(Image via Zimbio.)