It has been just over 8 years since Katelyn Faber accused Kobe Bryant of sexual assault. That’s important to note because even despite her husband admitting to having an affair with Faber while denying that he raped her, Vanessa Bryant stood by her man. Kobe paid Faber off, even after she refused to testify, and then we went to Jared’s and bought Vanessa a rock so big that her ring finger needed a personal assistant.
So 8 years later, they’re getting divorced. That begs the question – what the hell could be so much worse than being accused of anal rape that could lead to divorce now?
† Kobe’s latest extra-marital affair was so blatant, the couple’s daughters were said to be in the woman’s presence on a number of occasions and were fully aware their dad was cheating on their mother.
† And the Lakers superstar’s wife learned that Kobe’s many promises to “never do that again” were just a bunch of hooey, and that he laughed off his apologies to her in conversations with his closest friends.
(Via the Chicago Sun-Times)
Hooey, I tell you! Hooey! What else is Hooey? Being worth $300 million and not having a pre-nup. Have we learned nothing from Tiger Woods?
Once again, I will gladly remind all of you aspiring athletes and celebrities that if you’re thinking about getting married, take a good, long, hard look at Kobe and Tiger. Then take one simple glance at Derek Jeter. Then sign a few balls and throw them in the backseat of your car.
After the jump, we remember the Bryants' marriage. I feel it is best viewed while listening to the greatest love song ever written (with apologies to Tesla).



























I hope to one day treat a beautiful woman like shit because I’m popular and bored!
Dude, what is with you and that fucking video? You are more subservient to it than I am to pretending to be a fake Klingon!
Fek, if you think linking to it is bad, wait til you see what I’m announcing tomorrow.
I gotta be a little serious here for a minute: I squarely place all the blame on Kobe Bryant. Not because he cheated on his wife, but that he even fucking bothered marrying her in the first place.
Here is my premise, I feel a man knows if he will be faithful to a woman or not before he marries. I feel that men that marry a women despite knowing he will not be faithful to her are like some sort of idiotic event horizon of fail. Why “tie yourself down” when you have no life experience that would indicate you can restrain yourself from jumping bed to bed sticking your dick in any wet hole that avails itself to you (willingly, or not…)?
LET ALONE, why tie yourself down if you know all of this AND have a steady stream of Grade-A California poontang lined up for a mile and ready to go on any given day? Kobe Bryant is rich, he’s famous, he’s young, he’s good looking, he’s athletic, and he likes to fuck around and can basically have any pussy he wants (probably in any denomination he sees fit as well). How is this a stable environment for a wife and a family with children?
Vanessa seems like a nice gal, and she is very pretty. I have never met her, so I can’t really say a lot about her, but I will say this: Unless she has some sort of supernatural, Quato like pussy that can not only suck my dick while it is in there, but juggle my nuts and tongue my ass at the same time, too, Kobe is fucking RETARDED to have gotten married in the first place, so fuck that guy. I hope she leaves him with nothing, because he was a world class douche baron to even pretend like he would ever be a husband to her.
Finally, Vanessa, if you are reading and do happen to have that freak pussy I mentioned…I know a guy that is really good with children and is VERY fluent in Klingonese!
Ha! I got even in advance with a tl;dr post! }}:>P
Wow if that one daughter has a child with Jason Kidd’s son, it might actually come out as retarded looking as Sloth. Baby Ruth?
When are athletes going to learn, that you don’t get married until after your career is done. And if you are going to get married, you damn well better sign an iron clad pre-nup.
She’s beautiful enough for Kobe’s teammates to consider sleeping with her once she comes on to them to get back on Kobe.
Hi. Merry Christmas everyone!
I’m a sweet, friendly, honest and caring girl in search of casual encounters. I’ve single for over two year, so I got a profile(Angle78) on –Casualloving dot c’0m–. It’s a first and safe place for people who wanna to start a short-term relationship. Maybe you wanna hit me up, seriously!no bounds or limits in front of true love.
++++++Life is short. Enjoy yourself.