Pre-show notes:
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- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.
- I’ll remind you again as the column rolls on, but Justin O’Connor of Progressive Boink and myself are hosting a Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown Live-Blog tonight at 8 PM EST. They’re airing it live this week, so you should come and chat with us and leave comments that I can hopefully multitask well enough in spite of Justin’s funny to include. Seriously, you’re going to laugh your ass off at this. Stop by, and tell folks.
- Another good reason for you to stop by and get to know Justin: he’s going to be filling in for me on the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 12/19 report on Tuesday the 20th. The 19th is my girlfriend’s birthday, and as much as I love wrestling, yeah, no.
- All the gifs you see within the report are courtesy of the awesome Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.
- Listening to me is better than reading me, so be sure to spend … jesus, two hours listening to me talk to K. Sawyer Paul over on the International Object podcast.
- For further Raw reading, please consult UGO’s The Good The Bad And The Ugly and John Canton’s The WWE Raw Deal.
But first, please to enjoy the Best and Worst of WWE Raw for November 28.
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I really wish when Miz walked back out with a mic, he just said “Janetty’d” dropped the mic on Morrison and smugly stood there into commercial
I genuinely had a big smile on my face to see how good Roddy looked. I still remember him looking terrible with the pot belly a few years ago, and its nice he is back in shape. Not sure how much cancer had to do with that, but whatevs.
I think you missed one major point on Roddy’s comments though. He did point out, just as you did at Survivor Series, that he is starting to come off as fake because he refuses to react. If someone mocks you in front of the fans and rock bottoms you, you don’t smile about it the next night. Its reasonable to get pissed. I think Roddy fairly pointed out that there is a difference between having integrity and simply being superficial. People want to see Cena face his anger and still do the right thing, not act like he is never angry.
Bye John, see you never.
Damn. He IS a heel.
Wait so how does Daniel Bryan beating up a women show compassion?
@Axis: I truly believe the Birds of War episode of Sunny saved him. Or at least that would be cool. More likely is the fact that he’s actually taken some time to recover from his multiple major surgeries and isn’t bumping anymore.
@troi – Because it convinces her to stop wearing fur through his vegan activism.
a girl(?) appears at :29 of the second2012 video…
MOVES LIKE SWAGGER
Yay for muscular women in athletic pants
Re: Cena’s entrance at ECW ONS, at about the 4:17 mark, they cut to shot that is kind of over the crowd’s shoulder looking back at Cena, center of the frame is the back of somebody’s head who is giving the double bird to Cena … that’s me!! Those are my middle fingers!! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!
I really appreciated your Prototype joke
I was there last night and from being in the arena, I don’t understand the appeal of Ryder. During two or three different matches people were changing “We Want Ryder,” then when he actually came out the crowd could not have seemed any less interested in his match. Add the fact that he messed up the setup to his win the first time so Jack Swagger had to literally do the exact same thing again and I wound up very confused how he is a popular thing now.
I’m fully expecting Michael Cole to have one of those sausage lassos the next time he interviews Daniel Bryan. And wouldn’t it be great if they had Meat come back and feud with D-Bry? Remember Meat? Anyone? Anyone?
That dress shirt thing seems to be part of that age bracket. My father believes that is how a button up shirt is to be worn at all times.
Also I don’t anyone who cheers for Triple H is reading this column. They are too busy perfected their new list for Bleacher Report.
Perfecting. Dammit!
@Kyle
“We want Ryder” is the new “WHAT?” Its just a way to fuck up anything the wrestlers are trying to do in the ring.
The thing that bothered me about the end of the Punk/Del Rio was the “GTS” on the turnbuckle. He just kinda fell from a height of a foot on to it and was magically knocked out. At least with a regular GTS you get a f**king knee to the face. It’s the same principle with the cutter or the stunner, I suppose.
@Kyle and Axissillian – Yeah, “We Want Ryder” is just further proof that people at wrestling shows don’t want to see wrestling, they want to see wrestlers.
Specifically requesting The Best And Worst Of Destiny’s Birthday 12/19
@Greene – You got it. Well, if sports happen during it, I guess.
November f**king 29th IS a holiday–it’s my birthday, dammit. :)
I’ve probably said this before on here, but my biggest problem with Cena is when he takes the whole “face” concept way too much to heart. How many times have we seen him get the shit kicked out of him and just take it? Not even an attempt at retribution, until of course the ppv, when he wins yet again. Mind-numbingly boring. Come on, even the nicest guy can get some payback more often than that. Cena has the personality to pull off a stunt or two to tweak his opponent du jour, even if it might get him a bigger beatdown the following week. Let him (and his fans) have a moment of satisfaction like that once in a while.
Speaking of my perpetual loathing for the WWE fanbase, I really hate it when Cena or someone else puts over the crowd as “always saying what is on their minds.”
The average WWE crowd contains the cud-chewingest marks around except for the rare times when they are in a “smart” crowd which is just as obnoxious for the same reasons.
This, in turn, returns to me to where all wrestling conversations should inevitably go. That being the fact 2008 Chris Jericho was awesome.
I really can’t speak much about the wrestling since I didn’t get to watch it last night, but THANK YOU for the Kelly Kelly gif with her tits all hanging out and shit.
And I still have my Chrono Trigger game cartridge somewhere. The only thing I can remember off the top of my head is that rhyming robot in the beginning.
B, where could I buy those “Moves Like Swagger” earmuffs? My daughter loves that horrible song, and Christmas is around the corner.
@Jade
The trick is getting angry Cena and not “angry” Cena. Remember that period like two years ago where every Cena promo was him making jokes and then getting REALLY LOUD AND SERIOUS to show how serious and angry he was and how this was personal now Randy Orton.
Your imaginings of the way WWE writers meetings go needs to become a thing
“1. It was pointed out to me that Miz looks like Howard The Duck, and now I’ll never be able to unsee it. ”
You’re welcome, America
Oh, and great post as usual
Kelly Kelly looks great for someone who loves bread so much that her theme song is called “Challah”
This Raw needed more Muppets, but then more Muppets is my suggestion for everything.
RE: Foley – couldn’t agree more. We’ve officially passed the point where he can be legitimately introduced as “Hardcore Legend” Mick Foley and should be introduced as “Fat Guy With a Bad Haircut” Mick Foley. I LOVE Mick/Cactus/Mankind but lovable muppet Foley’s gotta go.
@IrishCream – You’ve ruined a lot of peoples’ wrestling show with that.
I thought the opening segment proved your point that Cena is like an abused girlfriend more than anything else. He acknowledged the bruises, but only barely and would never admit that they were a bad thing, only a part of his life neither good nor bad. Roddy Piper killed in this segment, but I’d like to see a bunch of different WWE legends come in and try to get Cena to man up and take this match seriously. Get Bret Hart out there. Get Stone Cold out there talking about his wars with The Rock and how he needs to step it up. The point should be this: The Rock is coming for him and if he doesn’t change his ways he is going to go down. This doesn’t mean turning Cena heel, it means getting him to drop the fun-loving-I’m-a-fan-just-like-you-who-loves-The-Rock-b.s. and start acting like the 30-time WWE champion and future Hall of Famer that he is. It’s one thing to have Hustle Loyalty and Respect, it’s a complete other thing to be a fanboy who isn’t taking this seriously.
1. great review, that del rio= river joke is hilarious.
2. totally agree on hot chicks in workout clothes.
3. best game ever is metal gear solid.
I want to go as Battle Kat.
Holy crap do I miss Eddie.
THESTINGER liked last night’s episode. It was not as good as last week’s Smackdown, but it was good enough.
THESTINGER is a big fan of Daniel Bryan. Daniel Bryan seems to really care about the animal rights aspect:
[www.youtube.com]
Part of why THESTINGER is such a supporter of Daniel Bryan is that he is a leftist. Anyone that reads Chomsky or Howard Zinn is a friend of THESTINGER and it is not hard to believe that someone that reads people like that would also come around to the ethical side of being a vegan.
THESTINGER is unsure that John Cena is a heel. You are right about a lot of your analysis but if Cena was a heel they would not have him crassly trying to cash in on Zack Ryder’s popularity. If Cena was not a heel they would not try to have CM Punk’s popularity rub off onto him in September.
Had Cena been pushing, on screen at least, for Ryder or someone else to get more airtime it would be one thing. Instead, Ryder becomes popular on his own terms and now Cena is trying to rub off on it. THESTINGER knows that it is a dick move, but it’s not played as a heel move.
Or hell, maybe Cena is a heel. THESTINGER remembers the night where Cena fought Rey Mysterio for the WWE Championship after Mysterio had already had a match to win the belt and then Cena Five Knuckle Shuffles Rey Mysterio. Seriously, that’s just a jackass thing to do to anyone, but to do it to Rey Mysterio after he’s already wrestled once before?
Cena has become a chimera and THESTINGER believes anyone can see what they want in him.
THESTINGER agrees that HHH (or Triple H as his friends call him) makes the show worse. He was never interesting. THESTINGER may be alone in this but the Attitude Era was more bad than good.
At this point THESTINGER should stop. Great column, Brandon. THESTINGER is most thankful for the days when rasslin’ is good and your column makes THESTINGER laugh. Even still, THESTINGER is thankful for when you can bring laughter even if the show was awful.
So in vegan activism world beating up a woman is better than wearing in all likelihood was a fake fur? I mean isn’t looking like a jackass punishment enough?
I think Dolph Ziggler should have a new entrance song remix every week.
Can anyone here actually do a handstand? I just tried and ended up hurting myself.
@troi – No, of course not, beating up a woman is never okay. Jeez.
Really hope that Brodus Clay turns into MB3 from Drew’s old Wade & Jerry posts. It’d be perfect. Otunga is already this close to being Jason Garrett.
No longer having to be annoyed and disappointed with John Morrison was a pretty swell birthday gift, too!
So Brandon I have to ask, why are you s Vegan? Do you think eating meat is evil or do you just not like it?
I thought the CM Punk Google thing was appropriate because he was just spouting nonsense numbers, like they do about Twitter. Like he knew what he was saying was stupid, but f- it what they say is stupid.
Also, check out this goddam handstand! *hup*
(executes flawless handstand)
*Why you are a vegan?
Sorry about that.
*Why are you a vegan?
There we go. Yeah, I did it! OH YEAH, OH YEAHHHH
@Sebastian Howard – I was a vegetarian for a long time and never went vegan because I thought they were all nutjob assholes. I’ve never been able to separate where food comes from and what I’m about to put in my mouth. I had severe eating disorder issues because of guilt and used to weigh over 300 pounds, and it wasn’t until I sorta came to terms with veganism being a lifestyle choice and not a cliq of people that I made the switch. I’ve been happy as hell ever since, and have lost 70-some pounds for my troubles.
Thankfully I live in a place like Austin where vegan food is as easy to get as any other kind, and people sorta know what it’s about and don’t act weird. That allows me to never have to act weird in response.
In all fairness I do not see why people hate Vegans. If anything, I respect the hell out of them. I tried to go vegetarian for awhile but decided Buffalo wings are simply too delicious.
About the Barrett/Lawler exchange, wasn’t Lawler taken aback, not by the power of Barrett’s words, but because “Good for the goose is good for the gander” means that the same rules should apply to Men and Women, and therefore used in a context where it made no sense?
I’m probably giving Lawler too much credit. That Memphis hillbilly probably has no idea what that saying really meant.
@Axissillian – Honestly a lot of them are jerks, but a lot of ANY kind of people are jerks. People get odd about food, and get bent out of shape when you don’t eat what they eat, on both sides.
And meat can be delicious, yeah, but I’m lucky, because I really love what I eat now. I could swim around in a Scrooge McDuck money bin of quinoa.
Best explanation of Cena’s character I’ve ever heard.
1) John Cena is Woody from Toy Story. He’ll just never give up on Andy, doggoneit.
Hidden Best: Vickie laughing like a maniac whenever the face only gets two on one of her clients. It’s just amazing how much character she wrings out of “old woman who thinks she’s queen of the fucking world” man.
Eternal worst: Jerry Lawler trying to make jokes about Vickie. You can tell he doesn’t want to and just forcing it out, but that he doesn’t at least come up with something to spin it into a comment that doesn’t sound like he’s ragging on her for being old and not really the standard issue barbie.
Hidden Best and Worst: The Bella Twins are Starfuckers, but that’s the best idea they have for them. Think about it, their only interest in Alberto Del RRRRRIIIIIIIIOO~ is that he’s rich as all fuck and they want a sugar daddy to take care of them. They went from pretending to give two shits about what Zack Ryder was bro’ing about to all but dragging Del Rio off screen for a threesome. Be a Star like the Bella Twins, little girls: The only way to get ahead in life is to whore your body out.
Lifetime Best: This column. Thanks for making watching this crap bearable again bro.
Hurm. I originally had two points but forgot the second one. I also forgot to delete the number 1. Let’s hear it for artificially boosting the comments tally!
So I had this conversation last night with my wife about Ziggler and it was great.
Wife: “I really don’t get why you like Ziggler, theirs just something that is off about him that makes me hate him so much”
Me: “I have no idea what your talking about he makes anyone look amazing and ……..”
Wife: “I know what it is he’s an 80′s movie bad guy”
Me: “what?”
Wife: “He’s the over bleached over tan bad guy that should be beating up the Karate Kid”
Me: “……. You do know he would probably take that as a compliment because his whole schtick is being the heel.”
Wife:”Whatever, I just feel better knowing why I don’t like him.” She then goes back to watching her movie.
Ah yes! Point number the second: my heart sank a bit when ADR came out for the main event wearing an Alberto del Rio t-shirt. Mexican aristocrats don’t wear t-shirts, especially the kind that are available to commoners on WWEShop.com.
It is obvious that they are setting up Punk vs. Bowtunga’s coffee cup for Wrestlemania. Easy **** match.
“I was this kid. I was just dressed like Robert Gibson. And then Road Warrior Hawk. And then Robert Gibson again. And then El Dandy for nine years. And then Hugh G. Rection ever since, except for last Halloween when Destiny and I went as Hollywood & Vine from GLOW.”
The following really happened to me and created the most confusing moment of pro wrestling in my life.
1 – Divas match comes on, brain instinctively picks up remote and switches to Monday night football. Drew Brees throws an amazing pass, brain is happy.
2 – MNF goes to commercial and brain begrudgingly switches back to WWE Divas match just in time to see Beth and Natalia running towards the ring.
3 – Brain becomes excited at the prospect of interference and six girl in ring pandemonium.
4 – Beth and Natalia just run around the ring instead, brain attempts to parse what has just happened and fails. This process repeats itself several times.
5 – Brain gives up and watches commercials on ESPN until MNF comes back on.
6 – Moments later I realize I would rather watch commercials than WWE Divas wrestling. This saddens me.
@Anonguy: When Lawler made that Santa Claus/old bag joke about Vickie last night, I found myself wondering how many years in a row he’s dusted off that chestnut. This is why I need the Daily Show’s army of video interns to do my bidding.
That really is an amazing description of Cena’s character, and I’m glad that with segments like this one the WWE seem like they might be (probably not, though..) putting at least some of the same kind of thought into it. I have never considered that Cena is already the heel because I’ve been a fan of his since he choked Umaga out with the entire ring (before that I was pretty much one of those guys who boo him mercilessly and I probably also cheered HHH at the time) but…yeah. That is great.
Also I laughed out loud at the Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer reference. And you calling Dolph the Zig Zag Man Right There. Another Booker T thing I’ve noticed he says a lot: TONIGHTA.
oh and christmas kaitlyn hot
@Dave Emerson – These are real stories from my life, I’m not trying to be cute. Don’t exacerbate me.
I don’t want anyone to hate Alicia Fox for the wrong reasons–especially when there are so many right reasons. With that in mind, she mentioned on Twitter that “no animals were harmed” in the making of her fox hood.
What? Of COURSE I follow Alicia Fox on Twitter. Don’t you? DON’T JUDGE ME!
Leaving a comment because I finally was able to figure out how to log in. Great recap, as always. But just wanted to say that your podcast with KSP was absolutely amazing. I was crying with laughter at the last 15-20 minutes. You need to do more, either with him or with others. It was just so brilliant. As is most of your work.
Also it seems important to note here that Bryce Remsburg is possibly even better as a dancer than as a referee.
Awesome breakdown of what Cena’s character has evolved into. I totally agree, but at times I feel like you’re giving the WWE too much credit. You see it, we see it, but I’m pretty sure it’s been unintentional. Somewhat. Unless this actually pays off and they don’t drop the ball with it and prove that Creative has some kind of idea of what they’re currently doing. Anyway, great post as always. I missed this RAW, but it seemed like a damn good one based on what you wrote. And that’s enough for me to scour the internet for the entire show.
@razorcakes: Whenever the divas match comes on, that’s my cue to make lunch for work the next day.
Charles Robinson is awesome. Nobody talks about what refs add/detract from a match that often. There is one ref (dunno his name) that is just abysmal. When he counts he sort of shuffles his hand back and forth horizontally on each count instead of just slapping it down hard vertically on each count and my god it irritates me. It is very distracting and looks very lame.
Quinoa and Chrono Trigger are two of the best things ever.
There is a tense debate in THESTINGER household. Wife of THESTINGER feels that watching the Divas match is sexist. THESTINGER feels that intentionally skipping the Divas match is sexist because they deserve a chance to make something special with the awful roles they are forced to play.
Question: Which is more sexist: Watching the Divas or intentionally skipping them?
Also, THESTINGER knows that any person can find any crappy excuse to not do the right thing. Being a vegetarian is the right thing to do, don’t try to blame some fictional obnoxious vegan for why you love industrial meat production.
“He could be counting some Mexican guy’s lame trip to his local river.”
Hmm… could we start a “Best and Worst of Some Mexican Guy’s Trip to His Local River?”
way to go brandon another great blog, love the talking heads reference in the part about cm punk, guess i am the only one who spotted it, or geeky enough to recognise it
John Morrison No. 1 Of…unemployment?
If you watch the divas match but hate it for the fact that it blatantly panders to my penis, does that count as sexist?
/John Morrison will eat your lunch. …cause he cannot afford his own meal
Good analysis of Cena, but I hated the Piper’s Pit segment. The delivery of both men was just awkward… can’t put my finger on a more specific reason though. Anyway, good article as always.
As always, a great piece about a good show. I was lucky enough this was in my home town and my wife and I took 3 of our sons to go see it. Other than the screaming little functional retard behind us, it was a great show. BTW: The superstars match between A-Ry and McIntyre was nice. Drew got a huge pop from the crowd, as did A-Ry. And yet, these guys are wasting away on Superstars.
I agree bosstronaut! Robinson is a great referee!! The worst referee (that I think you ment) is that gray haired guy who’s refereed most of CM Punks PPV matches (detracted from my enjoyment of MITB main event) and was one of the last people to be in contact with Chris Benoit. Scott Armstrong? I’ve seen him live once and sometimes when he goes down for the three count, his body makes a thud when it hits the mat and when his hand goes down for one you think it’s “two” already and wonder why nobody kicks out before “three”. He’s a lazy asshole methinks.
My favorite referees are/were Mike Chioda, heel Nick Patrick (just for comedy’s sake) and ECW’s Mickie Henson. I also always appreciated Tim White, probably for being Andre the Giant’s babysitter/drinking buddy, and was very sad when he dislocated his arm in a HIAC match between the quadtearers Nash and HHH ending his career as a ref.
Another great wrap-up. I have no idea why Beth & Nat were jogging but if I were them, I’d rather be doing ANYTHING instead of 20 second crappy matches that Creative throws up on a dry-erase board with “popcorn/toilet break” written under it. Please, for the love of all things Moolah, Vachon & Martel, give us some more women’s wrestlers and not ones who land on their feet during a moonsault and think showing intensity is screaming at the top of their lungs during an entire 60 second match (on a generous day).
Dolph Ziggler on his head is so random and wonderful. And thank you to Punk for making me smile during that chair exchange. Viva La Raza…
Good column as usual.
@Brandon – I like for people to share in my misery. It’s the Miz’s fault, really: he kept making that duck face until I figured out which duck it belonged to
Dammit, now you got me missing Molly Holly/Mona/Miss Madness again. She was great. Everybody remembers Trish and Lita but a lot of people forget how great Molly was during those years.
On a brighter note, I couldn’t agree with you more on the Beth & Nattie jogging thing. They looked terrific, especially Beth. Good god did Beth look hot.
I really like this column, but I’m afraid my first comment is going to be a bit on the negative side. It would appear that you are falling into the “Pro Wrestling Internet Writer Trap” of mentioning your girlfriend in every column. I know that girlfriends, let alone cute ones, aren’t common in this line of work, but it would seem like she’s being shoehorned into every column. My memory isn’t ass good as it once was, but I seem to remember CRZ and Scott Kieth falling into a similar trap.
I clicked on your Eddie article from 2005 and there was a girlfriend reference in there as well. Different girl, I assume, since I just learned that your first date with your current one was in 2009, but you get the point. That was a good read as well, by the way.
Anyway, small complaint. I still really enjoy these Best/Worst things. Keep up the good work. By the way, I was also a 12 year old who was a fan of Cactus Jack back in WCW. Never heard of ECW back then, though, so I lost track of him until he popped back up in WWF.
“I really wish when Miz walked back out with a mic, he just said “Janetty’d” dropped the mic on Morrison and smugly stood there into commercial”
Man, wasted opportunity. It’d even fit Mz’s character.
Haven’t seen the show yet, but that many bests can only be a good thing. Although things are spoiled slightly by reminding us that the HHH bullshit still has to come up again.
I was wondering what your send off message to morrison would be. It was pretty solemn compared to what I thought it would be
@Ronnie – I don’t mention her because I think she’s hot or want to show her off, she just lives at my house and mostly watches wrestling with me and is a part of my life. This column is from my life’s perspective, so she shows up in it.
I continue to enjoy reading these. Love the Talking Heads reference too.
Continue referencing ChronoTrigger and posting pics of the Chickbusters and I will continue to read, comment, and love it.
Was anyone else distracted by Ryder’s trunks? I swear the Zack Ryder logo on his crotch made it look like he was wearing sunglasses on his penis. Kinda like putting sunglasses on a dog’s butt, I guess.
Also waiting for Otunga to become WWE Champion over Punk and then scream at him “I WAS IN NEXUS WITH YOU, IDIOT! YOU HELPED ME WIN THE TAG TITLES! ARE WE PRETENDING THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN???” Kinda like how everyone is waiting for Cena to explode.
But I’m surprised as a lack of best for Laurinaitis abruptly ending the meeting by texting nobody. Like he’s some 14 old girl. Del Rio, Otunga and RicRod were all like “Ok I guess that’s it?”
“The next time Ziggler poses for the crowd instead of going for a cover, Mike Knox should rush out and cover him with a towel.”
That would be wonderful.
Your first date with Destiny was a TNA PPV?!?!?! And she’s still with you? She a keeper man, congrats!
As usual great job on everything in the column. Especially loved the Cena/Heel analysis. And the Del Rio “I am the 1%” is genius along with the 2% milk joke. WWE take some notes.
Hey thanks for running a column without an AJ pic, a-hole.
@Brandon – No, I get it. I was just giving you shit.
Soy yeah, I just registered so I could comment. Feck you don ‘t look at me.
You get so many wrestling fan columns that shit over everything week in and week out and it’s so tiresome. It’s just makes me happy that there’s a column that is actually written by an actual fan who knows when there’s good stuff and offers actual constructive criticism instead of just smark blood boiling.
Plus that comment about the Zig Zag Man doing a headstand and screaming like the kool aid man had me cracking up for a good minute.
I shall nose stop brown nosing and get back to booker T in a Santa costume. Which raises another question, can Santa be black?
I’ve been a long(ish)-time fan of the column, but this is the first time I’ve felt compelled to comment. I’m sure you’re already aware of this, but Roland Barthes wrote an essay about wrestling in the 50′s (called “The World of Wrestling”). Your John Cena comment at the beginning really reminds me of the logics of his essay. For all you peeps who might be interested in thinking about wrestling from a French philosopher’s perspective in a bygone age, you can just google the title and download the essay. Interesting stuff.
Super Dodge Ball is, indeed, the tits.
I met Great Muta.
True story.
Del Rio, the actual south Texas town on the border, is actually very boring. You have to go across the border to Villa Acuna for the real fun.
Did John Cena just Rise Above Hate and get boo’d? The whole spot was “Cena, you’re getting boo’d and if you don’t confront them, it will get worse!” “No no, Piper, I am better than that, I won’t give in and do something rash.” Cena leaves and everyone is even more angry with him.
John, you just have to tell a teacher at this point.
(Also, I may respect the man but yeah. Triple H should stay behind the scenes.)
Yea, another good Raw. The football game ended at like 8:58, so I watched the entire episode, and it was good stuff. Isn’t hard to produce a good 2 hour wrestling show, strong main event, and I’m finding myself being a fan of a bunch of guys (Ziggler, Barrett). I laughed hard when you pointed out Ziggler’s big shit eating grin and OH YEAHS as he did the handstand, because last night it made me laugh too.
And I want to do horrible things to Kaitlyn. In the good way.
Mae Young is part of both one of my favorite and least favorite moments in wrestling history.
Favorite is when Bubba Dudley was doing his “put women through tables” thing. One show, he puts Terri Runnels into the table and you can tell that he is cradling her and taking the brunt of the blow on his own arms and belly. The next week, he absolutely destroys Mae. He plants her hard. I mean Farooq hard. Awesome.
The worst is, of course, the hand. The moment that almost made me quit wrestling forever.
maek poopies jesus i laughed. registered because you told me to. you’re welcome?
Great read again. I was a crappy Survivor Series away from walking away, but they’ve had two excellent weeks in a row now.
Your whole explanation of what Cena’s character is and isn’t is really a highlight for me, because as much as I love guys like Punk and Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler, and even though I don’t always agree with how they’ve used him, I love John Cena and I think a lot of the people that want to boo him are the same kind of people that say “Superman sucks. Batman could totally kick his ass!” And I’m afraid those people are simply, and sadly, missing the point.
+1 for muscular girls in yoga pants.
Chrono Trigger FTW.
The steel chair spot was one of my favorite moments since Money in the Bank.
And “MAEK POOPIES” will never stop being funny.
They should book Ricardo the same way Chikara did with Jakob, in that he gets so fed up getting constantly attacked that he trains to wrestle and starts fighting back.
GREAT COLUMN AND EVEN GREATER SUPPORTING PHOTOS!
I say there’s more than 20 vegans you don’t personally know reading this column. I’LL BET MY LAST COLOMBIAN NICKEL ON IT. Isn’t Google Analytics able to measure that yet?
I kept this show on in the background this week, but I enjoyed everything I saw. I really, really like the Piper’s Pit bit, and I think that we’re going to get to a point where Cena has just had everybody needling the everyloving piss out of him, and he’s going to lose it and utterly destroy the rock. He’s going to brutalize him like he did Batista, and then people won’t know what to do with him.
And it’ll be pretty good. Personally, I wish the Rock/Cena thing was at the Rumble, so we could get a Monster Cena vs the Undertaker for the last of the Streak.
Great read as usual. I really wish the WWE would take a cue from you though, and be like “Ok guys, instead of some awkward moments involving Ryder and a diva, we’re going to have the Chickbusters talk about Toejam and Earl.”
@TheChrisHaley- are you THE Chris Haley? From LBFA? I freaking love that strip!
I just caught Raw on my DVR last night and I’ll admit it, I teared up a little when I saw CM Punk and ADR do the Eddie Guerrero fake chair hit spot.
Commenting to congratulate you for introducing “goin’ out polo” into my day-to-day lexicon.
“The next time Triple H shows up, don’t be a stupid Attitude Era fan. Boo him. Boo him until he leaves again. If you don’t, this is never going to stay good”
Won’t we just get the “bad guy-i’ll do anything for the title” HHH then? And do we really want another HHH hitting CMPunk with the sledgehammer angle? (i’m still going to boo him.)
First of all, I think you give the writers WAY too much credit for what you are reading into it. This is the same company that thinks fat jokes and nerds are hilarious. If you want to make up your own fan fiction in your head that is fine but, it’s not canon. Now, I will admit that you can’t hold somebody by their gimmick they used when they first got popular. Many guys have evolved into what their legacy became. I fall into this trap myself about Cena. “He’s a guy coasting on kids thinking it was cool to rap promos 8 years ago!” I can’t forgive him for making me stop watching WWE in 2003. I could not wrap my head around a whigger with a spinner belt as champion. But, I’m getting to where I can tolerate him now because I realize he serves a purpose. I do like that they are at least acknowledging that people are getting tired of his bullshit. I think whats interesting is they don’t discuss the real reason. It’s not because the little Jimmys are sad/mad he didn’t stand up to Rock. It’s because us 18-35 yr olds can’t stand his superhero act. Also, he is not “controversial”. Half the crowd being split on liking and hating you does not equate controversy. Also…”look at those kids, they are having the time of their life!” Cut to the kids: One is half asleep and the other is in a bored stuper. LOL
If Miz is Howard the Duck does that make R-Truth the Dark Overlord?
And yes, kids want to see Ricardo get flaming F finisher’d because he’s associated with the wrestler they are programmed to hate. What’s good for ADR’s goose is good for RR’s gander.
This has been the first column I disagreed with a number of points on. But, that’s cool because you write in a way that is funny and interesting to read and that’s why I read the column, participate in live blogs, follow you Twitter, like you and With Leather on Facebook, and listen to podcasts you particpate in.
Final Thought: That Mae Young bit was cringingly uncomfortable. However, it is funny that his gimmick is LI party boy WWE Superstar but, can’t even get the phone # of a female co-worker. If Mae had a 6pack of Bud Light Lime with her, I think he would have followed her back to the dressing room cause he’s got to have some mad blue balls by all the Diva rejection and friend zoning. – NOT CANON
Great write-up, as always, Brandon. This is the first RAW that I watched the entire way through in a while (except for the main event, as the flu forced me to fall asleep – really would’ve liked to have seen the Eddie chair spot live instead of watching it the next morning, but what can you do?), and I agree that it was a good one. Some thoughts:
-I want Piper to come out every time Cena is scheduled for an interview, and then, every time Cena opens his mouth to talk, I want Piper to slap him. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And I want Cena to invariably take it out on either the ring or someone else in the ring, leaving Piper unscathed. It doesn’t really serve a purpose or build to anything ( I suppose eventually you could make Cena go full-on “Next Big Thing” Lesnar and then let someone like Ziggler do a face turn by standing up to him), but I just think it would be a nice change to Cena’s cut-and-paste interviews. For all the flak you give Ryder about his catchphrases and merchandise and whatnot, Cena’s just as bad. That entire first segment on RAW essentially turned into a plug for Cena’s “Rise Above Hate” shirt.
-To expound on what M4G3RK said, Cena desperately needs to be the heel. There are no more Umagas or Khalis or Big Shows on RAW for his Hogan shtick to be entertaining and he’s essentially become the WWE’s version of Superman – he’s physically imposing and he’s been written as being unbeatable for so long that it’s hard to tell compelling storylines with him. I shudder to think about how much different the early 00′s would’ve been had WWE been PG-Rated when Rocky Johnson debuted. Like Cena, he’d have stayed a face forever, and, like Cena, he’d still be in the WWE full-time because no one in Hollywood would’ve given two shits about him.
-I was blown away by how good Wade Barrett was on commentary last night. Generally don’t get to see a lot of Smackdown (and, as I said, haven’t watched a lot of full RAWs, mainly just the CM Punk stuff), so Barrett’s a bit of a new phenomenon for me, but if he’s consistently as entertaining as he was on commentary last night, he’s going to be a big part of the future of this company. He was able to play the heel without being overly obnoxious, actually played off of what the other two were saying (instead of blatantly ignoring it to get their own tired drivel over, like Cole and King generally do to one another or Cole especially does to JR), and, most of all, he came across as a guy being himself, not a guy playing a character that’s nothing like himself. And, as we’ve seen with Austin, Rock, and even Orton, that tends to work the best for the WWE.
-Speaking of guys playing themselves, can we just close voting and award Ziggler the “This Generation’s Kurt Hennig” award? I mean that in the most complementary way possible, as I’m a huge Hennig fan, and seeing Ziggler “showing off” and doing handstands with his bleached blonde hair just immediately made me think of Mr. Perfect. It’s too bad Hennig’s not still around to pass that title on to Ziggler – like Ric Flair with “the Nature Boy”, I think Ziggler could really take the nickname to previously-unseen heights.
I’m way late on commenting, but better late than never. Loved this week’s writeup. Any reference to Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer and the single greatest promo ever gets a big “Hell Yip” from me. To anyone reading this who really enjoys Brandon’s sense of humor on wrestling, find his Vintage Promo column on the Farmer promo from the old Fanhouse site. And B, I’m fairly sure I’ve said this before, but if you ever get the itch to throw some new wrestling content on WL, bringing back the Vintage Promo columns would be super.
This is one of the greatest things I read on these internets every week. Carry on.
Digimon reference was hillarious
Sorry, dude, but I completely skipped the page that was a majority Daniel Bryanson. There should have just been a Both Leave Town Match between him and Morrison.
@Trent Cole Train – Yup. Thanks! Glad to hear it!
@FramersMain – When did Cena brutalize Batista? Because that’s a thing I’d like to watch.