Maybe don't bring in a 34-year old WR who has been called a locker room cancer.
21) Oakland Raiders (4-3) – The Raiders are possibly bringing in T.J. Houshmanzadeh to make Carson Palmer feel more at home. Then they’ll bring in Terrell Owens to make him want to go home.
22) New Orleans Saints (5-3) – I’ve maintained all season that the Rams were better than they were playing and they’d eventually get it together (albeit too late to make it matter). That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be 0-7 right now.
23) Houston Texans (5-3) – Two in a row for the Texans! Too bad they still don’t have much of a lead over the Titans. I get a sneaking suspicion that the AFC South is going to come down to Week 17’s matchup between Houston and Tennessee, when Houston should have this division locked up by Week 10.
24) Baltimore Ravens (5-2) – I don’t ever like to make bold predictions this early in the season, but what the hell? If Baltimore loses to Pittsburgh on Sunday, forget the division – the Ravens won’t make the playoffs.
25) New England Patriots (5-2) – Wide receiver/punt returner/Strokes cover band lead singer Julian Edelman was arrested this morning for indecent assault at a Boston nightclub. Looks like Rob Gronkowski needs to show the little fella a few pointers.
26) Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) – I picture Marvin Lewis like he’s perpetually in a boner pill commercial. Constantly smiling, soaking in a bathtub on the beach, holding his lover’s hand as they step over Terrell Owens’ unresponsive body, riding a tandem bike with Andy Dalton. Life is good for Marv.
27) New York Giants (5-2) – I’d say that the Giants have to be concerned with the Eagles catching them in the NFC East right now, but they have to be more concerned with even allowing the Miami Dolphins to sniff victory on Sunday. If the Giants can’t stop Reggie Bush they will be torched by LeSean McCoy when it matters.
28) Buffalo Bills (5-2) – If you put a gun to my head right now and told me to pick the AFC East champion, I’m picking the Bills. I want whatever human embryo smoothie that Fred Jackson is drinking.
29) Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) – It’s amazing how well Ben Roethlisberger plays when he’s not throwing from a stretcher. And yes, Pittsburgh’s defense is getting older, but that young offense is pretty scary.
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“If you put a gun to my head right now and told me to pick the AFC East champion right now, I’m picking the Bills.”
I agree.
/puts down gun
It must be nice for those men to have the disposable $110 that it takes to make a customized Luck Colts jersey. We do need to have a one-sided conversation about the white sunglasses, however.
STOP. You look like you stole those from your douchebag date-raping 17-year old son.
“I get a sneaking suspicion that the AFC South is going to come down to Week 17’s matchup between Houston and Tennessee, when Houston should have this division locked up by Week 10.”
And that, in a nutshell, is what it’s like to be a Texans fan.
Finally: I had a waitress ask me this weekend if I was Aaron Rodgers. I suppose if you squinted really hard I could be confused for his retarded overweight cousin, but still–made my night. I should have said yes, but I don’t think my girlfriend would’ve appreciated a waitress blowing me in the foyer of an Italian restaurant.
That was an absolutely heinous snot-rocket.
Can we please stop with the “Suck for Luck” crap. It’s more tired and and worn out than your mom. BAM!
I love LeSean McCoy but Andy Reid needs to spread the carries out a bit. He doesn’t need to carry the ball 30 times. He’ll get killed.
Especially late in the game with a big lead. It’s terrifying.
So thats definitely the first time someone has ever complained about Andy Reid giving his RB too many carries, right?
No one in the world thinks Aaron Rodgers is anything other than the best qb in the game right now. Even the 14 Favre fanatics left here in Wisconsin grudgingly call it what is.
The way he’s playing right now, one could argue “best player in the game overall”, and it wouldn’t be a stretch.
…
Except for Simmons. He still clings to Brady. C’mon, you giant dickbag. Just stop with that shit.
Everyone loves Brady (well, maybe not Bridget Moynahan) but you’d have to be the most self-involved Beantown douchebag idiot in America to argue that Brady is better right now because Rodgers missed the Pats game last year with a concussion.
“So what night were Jay Cutler and Philip Rivers pissing in a fountain when they switched bodies?”
I hate this so much because truth.
the race for the No. 3 pick, that’s the No Hustle for Russell? No 2, Fail for Kalil? I’m just spitballing here.
“Take It Up The Butt For Marvin McNutt”???
I still don’t buy Cincy or the 49ers being very good teams. It’s not that I truly believe they are shitty teams, it’s more due to the fact that it’s Cincy and the 49ers.
Lay a turd for Robert Griffin III.
If Miami doesn’t win the Suck for Luck pick, I hope Luck pulls an Eli and says he won’t play for such a shitty team that can’t win.
Seriously, Chicago dropped the ball when they cut WR Andy Fantuz.
@Burnsy – I don’t know if you are being sarcastic or not, but my point is that the game is won, give Ronnie Brown the ball. As long as he doesn’t throw the ball away when tackled.
@Stevie Phantom – Yeah. I just don’t like Andy Reid that much. He looks shocked every time McCoy breaks a big run. To Reid, a running back does two things: Pass block and catch the ball. His world has been turned upside down.
@The Mighty Feklahr
“Take It Up The Butt For Marvin McNutt”???
+1
The snot rocket was funnier live, unlooped. It was literally the first time I’d ever seen him after constantly seeing the rankings every week.
Burnsy, I still think Miami will prove to be the worst this year and get Luck. I have a feeling that the Colts will mistakenly win one for you.