
I think the best part of Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from Kris Humphries is that we’re pretty much done ever having to mention Humphries again. I wish I could say that about Kardashian, but I’m almost ready to bet my house that she shows up at a Miami Dolphins game within the next few weeks. Humphries, though, just needs to fill out some paperwork and sign on the dotted line to secure his status as an afterthought.
That’s what makes the above image so sad. Humphries was set to host a party at the Chateau Nightclub in Las Vegas this Saturday and I’m sure it would have been huge. After all, who wouldn’t want to go party with the husband of a girl who made a sex tape? Then the divorce happened, Chateau canceled the gig (Humphries said he canceled it because he’s sad, but come on) and now Humphries will probably head back to his family in Minnesota and try to work on his career-best 10 points per game with the hopes that the new CBA doesn’t cripple mid level contracts.
As for Vegas, in the 18 to 35 years I’ve been alive, I’ve never been there. I’d love to go do some gambling and throw up on someone, but it’s sh*t like this that keeps me away. I don’t want to go to a city where Humphries is treated like a star. He wasn’t even a star in Newark, NJ so why the hell should I treat him like one in Vegas? I’d rather see Carrot Top open for Criss Angel.
On a related side note: I know we occasionally take some heat for the galleries that we post, which is why we try to keep them as entertaining and fresh as we possibly can so we feel like we’re offering you something for your time and effort. And to add to that and show you how hard we try, the fine people at E! – the network responsible for the Kardashian empire – offer us “15 Super Sexy Basketball Hunks” (via PBT) as part of its “Athlebrity Zone.” Among the players that qualify for Super Sexy? Paul Pierce, Kyle Korver, Tracy McGrady and… Quentin Richardson? I think it’s clear that we need to bring our troops home and invade E!.


Burnsy, don’t let shit like this scare you away from Vegas. Go, totally worth it.
I think if these people get billed as hosts, they should be forced to actually host. Like, they walk around the place all night asking people if they’ve had enough h’or deovers and giving directions to the bathrooms. And they should have to bring their bed so everyone can throw their coats on it.
When I first saw the image I thought he was fighting someone UFC style. I can’t wait to forget all about him.
Chateau is a gay bar, right? Shirtless men on club posters always mean gay bar. I found that out the hard way.
And I do mean “hard!” HI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I never realized Taylor Lautner was so tall!
And stupid looking!This guy will be VERY popular when he goes to prison.
NBA doesn’t lockout shirts. Find one and look respectable, Caveman Rebounder.
Burnsy, stupid shit like this keeps the weirdos occupied while you have free run of the casinos and good bars in Vegas. Vegas has something for everyone. You’ll love it.
Stop the presses Carrot Top and Chriss Angell have have show together now? Where can I get tickets? Will Gallanger be smashing water melons as part of the show as well?
(I just reread that and decided to specify that it was a joke so my right to comment on uproxx isn’t revoked for all time on principle.)