Yesterday, I brought you the sad news that the incredibly real marriage between Kim Kardashian and the missing link Kris Humphries may be on the rocks. Today I regret to inform you that Humphries was spotted recently without his wedding ring, and Kardashian’s mom, Satan Kris Jenner, sent out a press release confirming that her daughter is just too busy for love.
Humphries is also being accused of getting phone numbers from random girls while he’s out partying, and I would like to meet these girls so I can explain to them that he’s a clumsy backup forward who somehow managed to average a double-double last season by playing garbage minutes for a crappy team. I mean, they could at least hit on Brandon Bass.
But I’m an optimist, friends, and I think this couple that made $17 million off their wedding and could probably double that by getting a divorce is just going through a bumpy phase and there’s a darn good reason why Humphries wasn’t wearing his ring. And if there’s not a darn good reason, I came up with a few excuses that he can use since he isn’t exactly a Rhodes Scholar.
(Banner via WWTDD)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/conan-octopus-taking-selfies-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/grizzlies-suck-at-lay-ups-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/LeBron-HS-Stats-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Kate-Upton-Jersey-Model-180x180.jpg)
These are pretty funny. The E! one was my favorite. Now please stop covering this. This is such an obvious publicity fabrication, and I’m talking about the entire relationship. Really Kris thought he could discretely pick up women in Miami away from Kim and didn’t consider the gang of paparazzi that his manager emails his schedule to?