It’s like somebody photoshopped out Brock Lesnar. Pre-report notes:
- We’ve got a fresh new commenting system, so if you read and/or flip through the report to read the boldface, make sure to leave us a comment to let us know what you liked or didn’t like about Vengeance, and which shoehorned-in Dragonball Z references in the report you thought were the least unfunny.
- Speaking of comments, With Leather offered a $250 Amazon gift card to the person who could accurately predict Vengeance. Thanks in part to that image up top, nobody could. We still want to give away money, though, so I’m opening it up to you, the participants. Do we award the prize to a random commenter, organize a Raw contest or push the giveaway to Survivor Series and see if anybody takes it home?
- Full disclosure: I didn’t watch this show live. I spent my Sunday night at Mohawk on Red River in downtown Austin watching Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s Beyond Good & Evil, a show that included Rachel Summerlyn dressed as Buffy The Vampire Slayer, ACH and Matt Palmer almost chickenfighting on the ledge of a building, Davey Vega taking one of the sickest German suplexes I’ve ever seen to the bottom turnbuckle and Robert Evans (who looks a heck of a lot like CHIKARA’s Archibald Peck) sitting quietly in the crowd in a Halloween costume for five hours to do a run-in at the end. I’m watching Vengeance this morning and writing about it as I go, so if the Cena/Alberto Del Rio match write-up turns into “heh, so here’s ten paragraphs about ChrisTrew.biz” I apologize.
- This is the third pay-per-view in six weeks. Just wanted to remind you.
Please click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Vengeance.
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Sort of off topic, but my oldest daughter watches Nickelodoen and I noticed John Cena was in some Halloween movie with that annoying Fred kid. In summary, John Cena is the worst.
I hope those Dragonball Z references you promised show up in part 2.
This is the third pay-per-view in six weeks. Just wanted to remind you.
My wallet needs no reminders.
A Last Man Standing match in a broken ring is more chaos than any heel running in to hit a weak finishing move to screw a babyface.
seriously, those votes of no confidence should have been just “wow, way to have such a shitty ring”
You should just give it to who was the closest to be right. If there’s a tie then move do a tie breaker using Survivor Series. I wouldn’t use Raw though, since rarely is more then one match ever announced in advance.
I’ll say it. Just give it to me.
I was the only guy who got the draw correct, but naturally I assumed Triple H would go over, and a brainfart of optimism led me to believe they weren’t going to have Randy Orton cleanly pin the IC champion.
I’d like to try my luck at Survivor Series, personally, but if like only one guy got everything right except for Show/Henry, maybe he should win it.
I’m sorry, but there was a commenter who actually called the ring collapsing in the Henry/Show match (it wasn’t me). Give that man his $250 Amazon gift card. I certainly wouldn’t have had the balls to predict “re-cycling an 8-year-old spot that they STOLE FROM ANOTHER COMPANY” as the end of a main-event caliber PPV match.
…although given the recent quality of booking, I guess I probably should have.
A fight to the death with a Kevin Nash run-in…that’s how it needs to happen.
@coked-up-jesus Don’t you mean a Kevin Nash slow walk in?
Kevin Nash may be old and slow but….I forgot how to finish that sentence.
Actually dude looked jacked last night. Not gonna confuse him with who was jack-knifing Bob Backlund but definitely looked better than he did during SummerSlame/Textgate.
throwing it out there expecting to be the minority, but Ziggler’s music has consistently gotten worse. His generic 80s computer game theme > the original I Am Perfection >>>> the remade I Am Perfection
Hey. I Am Perfection is my kickball batting song and I hit a 3 run home run yesterday. Results speak for themselves.
/selects I Am Perfection on iPhone
//wicked awesome air guitar solo
Wonder how Nash and H’s feel about the E60 piece on Hall from last week. Was hoping to see some kind of thing from you about it as well Brandon, did you see it?
Boy was that depressing. To see him walk out of those curtains all drugged out of his mind, yipes.
“I don’t know about seeing any granny panties, but I know we’re seeing a lot of athleticism” jerry lawler should not be your straight man, wwe
Glad to see this. I hate waiting a week to read your columns. You need to do something for Smackdown (it shows up on youtube on Thursday :)) or at least some kind of weekly roundup. Maybe like a “Best/Worst of the week” where you can preview Smackdown and look at Superstars.
Anyway, I think the Ziggler outfit had something to do with him not having his gear. It was a regular singlet (like Swagger wears) but the straps were down the whole time. Seems like he may have just borrowed some from his partner.
I think I almost peed at the Jannetty line, holy shit.
How did no one win the $$$? Someone/someones had to have a few pics right? What was the scoring system anyway.
BEST FF6 REFERENCE EVER!!!
Took me like 8 years to learn what taciturn meant….
“It’s time to start a new game plus.”
Been playing a lot of Arkham City have you?
Best: So Is He A C-800 Or A C-1000
All of that ^ From the title to the Wade Barrett mention is why I always come back to read these things. You’re hilarious as fuck Brandon and you I’ve said it before, I genuinely just enjoy the way you view wrestling.
AndyCandy in the predictions thread: “Mark Henry via World’s Strongestly collapsed ring”
Pay the man!
Also, I don’t think the prize should go to whoever 100% accurately picked the results perfectly because c’mon. If Vince hears that a bunch of people online are talking about something he’ll just turn around and switch the result up to fuck with them because sense does not need to be made when it comes to fucking with people.
i agree with JBShakes, giv it to the guy who predicted the ring collapse.
i love Zapp Brannigan.
/thanks for doing these Brandon.
Skooch, you really think WWE is going to change their plans for their PPV which nets them millions because too many people picked Cena in a pick’em?
I’m having a hard time deciding what the best thing in the WWE is between Dolph Ziggler and Cody rhodes. But Dolph took the lead last night, let’s see what happens tonight though.
I thought it was pretty funny/dumb/something that the ref kept begging Del Rio to stop throwing pieces of the set on top of Cena, but he apparently had no problem with Cena trying to murder Del Rio with a 1,000 pound trunk not 2 minutes earlier.
You forgot a best about the wax museum: The crowd actually cheered for Undertaker because for a second they thought he was real.
Sounds like you no longer enjoy Zack Ryder because he’s too mainstream now, Brandon. That’s pretty hipster of you!
Btw, “the” mall in San Antonio? We’ve got more than one mall down here in little ol’ SA bro.
Big Show definitely needs a velvet one-shoulder kilted singlet. And maybe a green Sin Cara to play Kif.
I’m in the middle of page 4. But, I forget a lot of stuff I want to say/ask by the end…
Women singing a man’s theme: Dusty Rhodes’ “Common Man Boogie”. [www.youtube.com]
When did a last man standing match become a hardcore/no DQ match? Why was all that shit legal? (I’m not complaining it was great, but I’m confused.)
When did title holders start getting introduced first? This is odd to me and I don’t like it.
1. Love the pic of Destiny with “The UnderFaker”. Considering the way he’s looked on occasion, I’d have to say that’s a pretty good likeness.
2. There is nothing good about a Kevin Nash appearance. Toxic waste does not get better no matter how long you “wait and see”.
3. Is it or were there way too many blondes in the Kelly beatdown?
4. If Cena will Never Give Up, how come he gave up on the jorts? Personally, I would have loved it if it turned out the jorts had been the secret to his invulnerability–and the minute he switched to something else, he got his ass handed to him.
I enjoy Ryder less and less as more stories about him being a total tool to his fans outside of the ring leak.
And now, my OWN personal aside.
This past Tuesday on Twitter, I replied to The Miz correcting Maryse when she compared his camera face pose to Derek Zoolander’s by saying that no, he was Hansel. I tweeted them both asking if that was the case then does that make Dolph Ziggler, Mugatu? (The joke being that he’s the ultimate heel and he has curly platinum hair.) Ziggler replied to me with, “theyre BREAKDANCE FIGHTING!!!”. That totally made my week and then seeing him at the end of his match with that poofy ass Mugatu hair makes it all the more enjoyable.
@M4G3RK: I follow a few wrestlers (Miz, Ryder, Punk, Rock) but Ziggler’s is the only one where he actually seems to enjoy conversating with the fans AND showing he has a kick ass personality outside of his heel persona.
Personally, Punk is a bit dickish with his followers and Rock just tweets about eating p*ssy all the time.
I really do like that we are starting to get more then one wrestling post a week.
@LTF Agreed. Though I don’t follow Rocky, guess I’m missing out on some sweet cunnilingus tips, dammit.
Great read as always… and is it me or you are just using this columns to show off pics of your gf with wrestlers?
Another fantastic read. ” The next pay-per-view cover should be John Cena looking to the right at the top, Alberto Del Rio looking to the left at the bottom and wwesurvivorseries floating in the middle.”
I would love to see that.
Also, push the prize to Survivor Series. I didn’t get a chance to play and would love some swag for picking pre-determined results.
Oh god, I forgot this pay per view was happening. They have so many that I can’t afford to order any of them. If it was only a couple a year I could host parties and distribute payments among guests.
Dusty’s Muffler beat me to the punch – the whole Ryder thing is incredibly hipsterriffic.
Other than that, great write-up as always.
Plus, I get the added bonus of a good chuckle whenever you mention that other website, because I write a weekly MMA column over there.
Great job as always. Gotta say that I got that the Ted Dibiase bit was easily one of the funniest things you’ve ever written. I’d read a line and have to stop reading to compose myself, only to read another line and burst out laughing again. Great job, my face now has tear streaks.
I miss Brock
I’m pretty sure that Best and Worst is going to be very angry yet still hilarious.
I didn’t bother even checking the results for this one, ’cause I knew you’d review it. I’m sure the IT department at my company has some questions as to why I refreshed WithLeather 800 times today.
And I’ll tell them it’s because of the Cena= Terminator line.
I have little to say since the show was so lackluster, but I thought you’d appreciate another comment. So….yeah….DiBiase moment….
Where was the DBZ reference.
Why do they gotta team The Rock with cena for Survivor Series
And in a throwback to ancient Dugout, YOUR [s]WIIIIIIIIFE[/s] GIRLFRIEND!
But no, it is TWO FINISHERS AT ONCE and in WWE Universe speak that is tantamount to pulling out a gun and shooting Punk in the forehead.
Touché good sir, touché.
“La fille que j’aimera
Sera comme bon vin
Qui se bonifiera
Un peu chaque matin”
There you go. You’re all set now if it comes to the French Poetry thing.
Sorry I didn’t get to comment yesterday, Brandon. This is one of my favorite articles by you and not just because I got every reference, either. This is why:
I wanted him to tell everyone to hold on a minute, then announce some awful tag match main event for Vengeance where somebody has to team with the broken ring.
Because I SERIOUSLY thought that was what was about to happen. It finally happened. WWE has conditioned me to expect the absolute WORST out of any “manager” that shows up on the scene.
I hate to be that guy out of the loop, but can someone explain the whole Big Bossman briefcase fiasco? Preferably the guy who mentions it every other B&W. Other than that, awesome recap.
Appreciate reading this because certain things preclude me me from watching every PPV/Raw episode.
@Panther Joe – in 1999, Steve Austin (who had won 50% control of the WWF) was wrestling in a handicap ladder match against Vince & Shane, with his 50% stake in the company in a briefcase (ala Money in the Bank). Austin had the match won, but at the last minute the cable holding the briefcase was pulled back up towards the roof of the arena, costing Austin the match and his control of the company. It was later revealed (in a shockingly anti-climactic way) that Bossman had raised the briefcase at the behest of the McMahons. It’s kind of a blanket “WWE doesn’t acknowledge the holes in their logic unless they want to” reference.
/pushes glasses back up nose
//re-evaluates life choices
I figured Kelly Kelly would win just because, and I didn’t see a no contest coming, but I DID call the ring collapsing. No I’m not WWE creative staff but if I was, I would indeed let you slap me.
Anyway, Brandon I love these posts. I finally signed up for the new Uproxx, and I’m going to try really hard to comment all the time and a little more thoughtfully.
But seeing that I am two days late at this point anyway, my favorite moment of the night:
“But Mark Henry last week did something to that young man… what’s his name… parkour… parkour guy… I’mma tell you Mark Henry is ready to hurt someone… you know who I’m talking about.” – Booker T
Much appreciated, Shakes. That sounds utterly ridiculous, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.