A few things before we place our votes.
- Be sure to read The Best And Worst Of WWE Hell In A Cell before reading this week’s report. Yes, there was a pay-per-view on Sunday. Another one!
- For those of you who want to follow the column more closely, be sure to – like us on Facebook!, Follow us on Twitter so you never miss an update, or follow me personally (I’ll talk to you about wrestling, I swear). We had a few technical difficulties earlier today, so I apologize for the lateness of this.
- Okay, you got me, I was busy screen-capping Kaitlyn.
- The last few columns have seen a decrease in comments, so don’t let that happen. Drop us a comment when you’re done reading and let me know what you thought of the show or the report.
Enjoy the column, or at least the first 90 minutes.
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Is it just me, or does Booker constantly sound like he’s running out of breath when talking? Note to Booker: if you are going to talk for 20 seconds straight, you need to breathe at about the 10 second mark.
WRONG! David Otunga is Jim Powers. Christian is “The Genius” Lanny Poffo; someone needs him to start spouting poetry and throwing lightswitches into the crowd.
“Candice Michelle’s face in a magazine collage.”
Very nice subtle Cena/Truman line there, Stroud. . .
Gosh I really need to buy that Money in the Bank PPV on DVD. This stuff is just bad and the CM Punk thing that got me watching again is dead. Doused by Triple H. I hate to say the burying thing because I think those people are idiots, but what really is the point of all of this now?
On the other hand, guys I have grown to like and think are working well are getting on TV and putting on good stuff and it’s fun to watch. I just don’t know what to think!
As a real American, do you feel obligated to fight for the right of everyman? Or just those you are friends with?
That’s where the tenets of Hulkamania fell short.
“…assuming they aren’t just waiting for the pause to yell WHAT because their parents were brother and sister before they got married.” That made my day.
And I would pay good american money for a Dolph Ziggler “I’M GONNA GO TO THE STORE” shirt.
There is nothing wrong with screencapping Kaitlyn. EVER.
“I’m going to get your lunch!”
“Thanks man! Such a heavy workload since the copier broke down.”
Man. I have no idea these days. I hate how HHH made himself the good guy and every other person bar Cena and Punk the dicks that don’t trust him.
On the other hand, if it makes Cody, Alberto, Dolph, Otunga, Christian and Swagger have a stable, which might mean Del Rio goes the Cody route of going for a classic belt, I’m all for it.
Alot of effort to get rid of a spinner though.
I DVR’ed Raw and haven’t watched it yet, so I can’t comment on the show itself. However….
“Sure, there was a “Randy Orton can barely move, the stuffed Jun Kasai doll from DDT could probably pin him right now” vibe hanging over the match and yeah, by not being able to beat a near-cripple Drew Mac looked less effective than a stuffed animal, but the difference in 100% Orton and 0% Orton is a frowny face and nobody’s paying that much attention.”
I read that sentence a half-dozen times and I still have no idea what it means.
Having HHH standing in the ring, by himself, as the crowd cheers him, and boo’s the wrestlers, is about as ass backwards as things get…Holy Hell.
This already was going to get a best and then you mentioned Leah West and it won a best for life for mentioning her in the same sentence as those guys.
I dunno why your comments are down but people need to get their act together and shower you with praise.
I myself really enjoyed the end but I do agree it sort of killed some of the momentum they’d built with the tag match. I also think it’s Vince just fucking with HHH to get his spot back but :/ I’d rather Vince/HHH/John L just go away and just give us a damn GM that isn’t a computer and let the show run.
Page 7 was the best. I just cringe-stared at the screen in pain when Beth Phoenix was talking. That whole thing was like a weird mess, especially when people would start to speak up and deliver their lines but HHH would ignore them for a couple more seconds to say some more stuff. I thought it was going to devolve into everyone at ringside going TRIPLE H HUNNER HUNNER HEY TRIPLE H and Hunter screaming and tearing his hair out, but, then it just kind of didn’t.
Hahaha and oh man at “NO SKI OF THE WEEK”, but the weird fact of the matter is the kind of wrestling fans who exist between casuals who only care about Steve Austin and hardcores that talk about Daniel Bryan on the internet are the unwashed masses of people who walk around in unironic John Cena shirts, and they are the people who just “get” this weird crap WWE does with it being a pop-worthy moment for HHH to beat up the tag team that just came out to save him. It’s the stuff that annoys us and makes fringe-fans go, “has wrestling always been this stupid?”. But no, that crowd loves them some baddest and strongest and also smartest HHH beating up people who are nice to him because it’s funny and he is cool.
“Cena, who came into the ring with five specials saved and ended up shoulderblocking himself into the corner to get stomped on by everybody.” Hahaha, it’s totally true, someone replaced Cena’s run animation with a shoulderblock, so if you hold the analog stick over too far, he just starts hopping across the ring shoulder-first.
“assuming they aren’t just waiting for the pause to yell WHAT because their parents were brother and sister before they got married.”
The first time I tuned back in and heard crowds still doing this, I almost immediately tuned back out. Good thing Brandon continued these reports to save us all.
I literally was sitting at my computer last night, writing a Defense of HHH(c) that I was planning to post today. Trips hasn’t been perfect these past few months, but I felt everything that has happened was solid. HiaC was a great PPV. ADR has the belt. Punk completely changed the equation. The use of Tha Conspiracy has been spot fucking on. So I was going to defend Tha Game. I was going to say he hasn’t been that bad, and in fact has been pretty good compared with how it could have gone. And then…last night happened. All momentum, lost. Punk, buried. ADR, ignored. The entire roster got jobbed. And I don’t know who’s fault it is. The crowd CHEERED him. Not booed, then cheered like they did with Vince. Just straight up loved everything he said. This is the McMahon-Helmsley era, without Stephanie. If he doesn’t take a sledgehammer to the face to knock him down, I swear to god I’m quitting.
/John Cena didn’t talk again for the second night in a row. There is no joke there, just silver linings
I appreciated the creativity of the cameramen laying their cameras down while they were “hot” or whatever you call cameras when they’re the ones being used for the TV feed. It’s a little thing, to be sure, but I’ve come to expect nice touches from WWE instead of TNA/WCW/ROH and that’s one of them.
Beth Phoenix’s “we’re just girls and we’re in danger now” thing was the worst of the worst of the worst.
Do you still think they didn’t bring Punk back too early? Everything went from “awesome” to “eye roll” in three weeks.
It’s no coincidence the comments have dropped off. No one has anything to say about any of this anymore, haha.
At the end of the day, this is a show for children. Like Pixar, adults can enjoy it too, but getting little kids to buy t-shirts is the main objective here.
Why are they having such a hard time with this? It’s very simple: good guy with clear motives vs. bad guy with clear motives. Even if the adults root for the “bad guy” because he’s more interesting to them, it still works because there’s obvious conflict.
Now we’ve got labor disputes and votes of no confidence and people booing the entire company in favor of one guy who refuses to go away?
I feel like Plinkett watching Phantom Menace. “HUUUUH? WHAAA? It don’t make no sense.”
Cena loses the title and comment numbers go down…..
QUICK GIVE HIM BACK THE TITLE! WE CLEARLY UNDERESTIMATED THE IMPACT OF “JOHN CENA GAY”
Haven’t started writing, but I immediately noticed AJ’s ass and I had to stop for a bit.
Brandon, you do a great job writing these and seem like you actually enjoy wrestling/living. I missed the first few segments last night and had to go to the bleacher report to see if anything interesting had happend. The entire recap was nothing but negativity and the same comment about how everything sucks, Everyone who writes there must the most depressed individuals on the planet and hate the fact that they have to wake up everyday. The main points were
“O great Kelley Kelley again, the way her voice sounds is terrible how dare she call herself a person, the stupid bi@#$ should just die already”
“O great theyre going to do tag team wrestling, they might as well just dump 5 gallons of fecal matter into the ring”
“Oh great another week and they havent changed the name its still WWE, whoever is in charge of that is a real jackass”
It got old really quickly.
Also I wasnt ready for the chicken as fritos paragraph and died laughing, sent a screen cap of it to a friend
I would also wear a dolph ziggler IM GOING TO THE STORE shirt
I mentioned this on twitter, but I would like to amend my original “Cody Rhodes is Yog-Sothoth” tweet. Cody is Wilbur Whateley of the Dunwich Horror.
Cody is abnormal by nature, his voice coarse and thick with dark intent, his face maligned by other superstars, and his goal is to find the untampered Winged Eagle WWE Championship (the Intercontinental Title reversion is one step in this) and open the way for the return of the mysterious “Legends” and his father Dusty Rhodes (aka Yog-Sothoth).
Dusty knows the finish. Dusty is the finish. Dusty is the ref-bump and substitute referee.
Legend, Superstar, NXT, all are one in Dusty.
He knows where the Legends broke glass ceilings of old, and where They shall break through again, most likely TNA.
He knows where They have drawn money, and where They still draw them, and why no one can behold Them as They struggle to get into their tights.
Dear WWE Films,
If you would like to start work on The Stamford Horror, contact me via email or on Twitter and I can have a script out by next Tuesday.
Yours,
Drak
One issue that I’m trying to figure out, and I think WWE is too, is how much the company follows the fans versus how much they lead them. They kept Punk, Cena, etc. out of the walkout at the end because they expected the wrestlers to get booed. But, dearest WWE, you guys CHOSE how you want to present that– if you’re worried the wrestlers will get booed, but in some guys the audience doesn’t want to boo, just to make them think. If you DO want them to boo your entire roster, including the faces you did have out there, then I don’t know what to say.
I would wear a shirt that said “I’M GONNA GO TO THE STORE”.
Every goddamn day.
i owe you about 40 comments, maze article as always
I read this and heartily endorse all BStroud productions.
“We didn’t like Goldberg because he drove monster trucks and had cool shirts, we liked him because he showed up, destroyed people and left without doing any dumb sh*t to ruin it. When he started doing dumb sh*t to ruin it, we stopped liking him and he had to wrestle Kronik in front of nobody for the enjoyment of no-one.”
This is absolutely 110% true. Goldberg was a human engine of destruction for a couple of years who could enter the ring against ANYBODY and credibly beat them in 3 – 5 minutes or less. Then monster trucks happens.
As for the We Are Upset Labor angle with HHH and mostly heels around the ring (No Cena? No Orton? No Sheamus? No Punk?) on the one hand I see and agree with your assertion that HHH “The Character” isn’t handling this all that well, on the other hand the man has a point. This is WWE Raw, not Law and Order Special Wrestlers Unit. The ENTIRE premise is bad and should never have gone forward and I can tell you why with one very simple phrase : Vince wouldn’t have ever let this happen. The SECOND Vince got wind the help was scheming some sort of no-confidence/labor grievance thing, whoever his henchmen happened to be would have destroyed Otunga to set an example. HHH is not Vince, and it shows. He’s doing exactly what he shouldn’t be doing, which is using his words. You know what I want to see next week? I want to see Hunter come out and put a 200K bounty on anyone who talks about unions, or labor greivances, or whatever and watch as Wrestlers pour out of wood works to beat the snot out of each other. Because he’s right, I don’t tune in to watch poorly constructed labor dispute angles, I tune in to see Mark Henry and Sheamus beat the hell out of people. Is that so much to ask?
This worst worst for this entire show was the crowd. Cheering Triple H over actual talent who make the show better. Booing women making (albeit retarded) points just because they’re disagreeing with God. I tried to think to myself about what you said last night, if this was Bischoff doing exactly the same thing he would be booed out the building, but it’s HHH so everyone cheers like we’re supposed to f*cking forget he sledgehammered every ref known to man.
And another thi-OMGITSTHEPEDIGREEMARKOUTMOUTHERFUCKMARKOMGWHOOOO!!!!
“It’s not going to end with Vince McMahon climbing out of the Raw General Manager’s laptop like he’s in The Ring and scare-facing the audience to death?”
Well wherever they go with it, it’s not going to beat that, so thanks for preemptively ruining it.
I haven’t actually seen the show yet so until I do I’m not really in a position to talk about a lot of the stuff, but I still really enjoyed this article. Like always there’s a great mix of intelligently made insightful points about pro wrestling and straight up funny lines about El Gigante’s “heyyyy what’s going on NOW??” face.
Things I CAN mention…
I didn’t notice it at all until it was mentioned (in a Best and Worst, actually) but it really is weird that the good guys are acting like bad guys and nice versa recently. You could get away with that kind of thing in the Attitude Era with Stone Cold as the anti-authority guy etc. but it just seems strange now. The comparisions to what Savage, Steamboat, Steele and Elizabeth would be today was both funny and probably completely accurate.
I love Cody Rhodes too.
“Okay, here, fine: Daniel Bryan wins, but loses on Raw the next night when Triple H cashes in his Triple H In The Bank briefcase. There, now you’ll do it.”
Ahahahahahaha. Amazing.
I actually forgot about Santino accusing Rey of being “the Batman” and now I’m kind of sad that he’s not that funny anymore.
I totally need to track down that 12 man tag team match, even if it does feature Otunga and Mason Ryan.
I have been confused about WE’RE GONNA EAT YOUR LUNCH all day. I…I don’t have a clue what it is supposed to mean. I keep thinking that it’s a reference to something that I’m missing or, I don’t know, I literally have no idea.
Wrestling Kronik in front of nobody for the enjoyment of no-one is my new favourite line, and a terrible fate.
I’ll probably comment more when I’ve seen the show itself.
And I just saw I typed “Moutherfuck”. No red line typo help when I break out the all caps sarcasm.
/Also Triple H’s fault.
The paragraph about Cody Rhodes made me laugh really hard.
Thanks to Popeye’s I know have a solution for a problem I didn’t know existed.
I assumed Beth was talking about rape. But, what has really changed that they don’t feel safe? Did I miss something? When did the WWE not have all out brawls and backstage assaults? Was Vince giving all the Divas personal security ninjas? When he became COO did HHH say, “Quit being babies!”, and fire their womanly parts protectors?
The Santino bit made me laugh. I knew it was wrong, but part of me thought it was ok because neither of them were American. It wasn’t Jeff Jarret bringing out his Mexican landscapers bad.
They gave the wrestlers a chance to speak their mind and CM PUNK has nothing to say? Come the punk on!
Another great read, B-Stro!
(Shoulda put Exicted Soccer Kid in that pic with Kaitlyn/AJ.)
I liked the Vote ending–it was different and rife with enough loopholes to leave you not so sure as to whether or not H just got shitcanned or not.
Beth Phoenix is gay.
Was it just me or was Kelley’s Raplhie-screaming unsettling? Maybe Beth got a concussion from her head being banged against the announce table and her scrambled brains thought she heard a sexual assault occuring.
Heres what I choose to focus on at this point. Kofi Kingston is the worst wrestler holding a title right now. Sure he sucks, but it could be worse. Everyone else with a belt is mega-awesome.
Oh, and Brandon will talk to you about wrestling on Twitter. I will confirm that. Not like that asshole Shoemaker.
You want comments. I gave you a comment.
Reality, I like the ending. CAN EVERYBODY JUST RELAX? Do we need to get to the point within a week of programming. Maybe all this is a build up to WM28. I mean they didn’t they set up the main event 364 days before the thing right?
Even you Brandon, have set up the outline for Henry/Danielson just now. That’s an awesome outline.
RELAX.
Botchamania rules.
I enjoyed the ever-loving shit out of last night’s Raw. I was genuinely whooping and hollering at multiple points (sorry downstairs neighbors, blame Kelly Kelly for Ken Shamrocking).
I’d also like to note that I hate babies too, but I don’t blame them for any problems I have at work. Great column again, B. Thanks for writing it.
B’lactus, destroyer of ankles.
Leaving a comment or else BS will hit me. Love these columns, would listen to podcasts and be other revenue streams for you.
Random thoughts:
-Triple AYCHAAA is the worst. Even in disgrace he still gets to be framed as the embattled badass. What are the odds that if everyone rushed the ring and started beating him down he would no-sell the shit out of it and dole out 40 Pedigrees? Ugh.
-Wouldn’t it be awesome if they played up Jack Swagger as a crazy flamboyant Dusty Rhodes-type character? His lisp so reminded me of the American Dream, and I think if they let that go just cut loose and be weird that he’d be so much more entertaining.
-You have to think that this angle is trying to tap into the current economic and labor tensions going on in this country. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how Vince McMahon stands on THAT, so unfortunately see this storyline flaming the fuck out. (By the way, how insane is it that Alberto Del Rio AKA Mexican DiBiase is on the “union” side?)
-Samoa Joe to WWE would be EPIC. Wouldn’t you just lose your shit seeing a Mark Henry-Joe slobberknocker? (apologies to Jim Ross)
Both the episode and the B&W needed more David Otunga’s Bowtie
Agreed. Otungua needs to wrestle in only trunks and a bowtie.
I’m Not likeing where the wwe is at right now but I hope it ends with triple h as a wrestler again and he has an attitude era crew beating the shit out of the “babies” then del rio owning hhh at wrestlemania and having a really long reign with a new classic belt
@Logan Echolls
“-You have to think that this angle is trying to tap into the current economic and labor tensions going on in this country. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how Vince McMahon stands on THAT, so unfortunately see this storyline flaming the fuck out. (By the way, how insane is it that Alberto Del Rio AKA Mexican DiBiase is on the “union” side?)”
I’ve been thinking/wondering the same thing. I’d like to think they’re that sophisticated but then again, there was the Here Goes Racism/Xenophobia Again match earlier in the night so I’m not sure I want to give WWE Creative that much credit. If Rush Limbaugh guest hosts and jacknife powerbombs Cristian through a table, I’ll bite.
Maybe he’s just preoccupied, and secretly trying to rebuild Candice Michelle’s face in a magazine cutout collage.
=======================
I laughed my lunch up. This was a GREAT write up, B.
What bothers me about that final segment wasn’t Beth talking and setting women back 11 years in gender equality, no. It was Good Ol’ JR walking out ever so slowly on Triple H. Him and Booker T have either been ‘No comment’ing Michael Cole, or telling him that they flat out disagree with him… and then they walk out. It was confusing.
Still… as confusing as all of this is… I need to see where they go from here. I can’t just… turn away.
And if everybody that walked out wrestles on Smackdown, I’m gonna flip out. Triple H is the COO, not the General manager of RAW… he kind runs it all, doesn’t he?
Doesn’t he?
Man, fuck logic.
Man, I miss good Santino.
You are right…we don’t need fried chicken scoops. We need bacon wrapped fried chicken scoops…preferably fried in lard
anyone who references futurama is someone who should be RUNNING THE INTERNET
That tag match was just the sort of thing that Chikara has trained me to love more than any other kind of wrestling. That said, I think it was Johnny Gargano who said on twitter that he’s going to steal Otunga’s finish. I can’t blame him. It’s a neckbreaker. It breaks necks.
I just want to say that this article is awesome. Even on mediocore episodes of RAW. I appreciate the work you do.
Also, man Kelly Kelly’s scream was insane. Just nuts.Like crazy eyes insane.
And you were right, the worst of the worst of the worst is Beth Phoenix. I figure she was only doing that cause she is a heel, but still it just sends the absolute worst message.
I’ll say this as well. I didn’t find HHH to be too much of a dick to me. But the way he treated Ryder, it was the only way I could describe him.
Good work as always
The vote of confidence was boring and stupid as all hell, but once the wrestlers started walking out, I thought immediately “miz and r-truth need to hit the ring now.” Could there have been a better time? They could’ve taken triple h apart, and no one would’ve been around to help because the whole locker room just walked out. Triple h gets his. Miz and truth look like monster, ruthless heels. Totally would’ve saved the segment.
I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me what has ever been good about triple h in any way.
Guys, “eating lunch” is insider terminology for dominating in the ring. Just thought you should know what that shirt is talking about.
/sunglasses
Didn’t get nearly any of the references this week but loved the righteous indignation as always
Since you mentioned Money in the Bank I can’t help but wonder: Would this have worked in Chicago? Or New York? Or Philly? Somehow I don’t see any decent crowd chanting “you still got it” after that bs.
Another MVP of the final segment: William Regal, who went through more conflicted facial expressions than an entire production of ‘Hamlet.’
Great as usual. At least there seemed like quite a few bests this week despite how awful the worst was.
Seriously how is this building to anything other than HHH vs. Vince No DQ at Wrestlemania? And what would the point of that be?
The thing of it is in weird corporate logic HHH is being validated by the fan reaction. He gets to say “See no one else is getting to the fans like I can” after positioning himself as the only person to get that crowd reaction. We complain but we as wrestling fans are apparently in the minority of the people who go to the shows.
The CM Punk angle brought me in but it totally sucks balls now.
The Miz and R-Truth are keeping me though along with ADR, Ricardo, Bellas, Mark Henry, Booker T, Cody Rhodes, Vickie Guerrero, Ziggles, the Sin Caras and Rey Jr. if he ever can walk again.
Love the articles.
Good recap for a an average-to-below-average episode of Raw. I thought the main event was really good too. It was old school, “scripted” tag team wrestling, but it was awesome to be able to see the main event guys, but not have to necessarily sit through Orton vs. Otunga or Swagger vs. Cena, as the great wrestlers like Ziggler, Punk, Del Rio and Christian were involved, but you didn’t have to just watch them with mediocre opponents. I was wondering while I watched if you would like it, and about how I would defend the fact that I did when you gave it a worst. So, it is nice to see you mark out to something as basic as that main event.
That being said, I really don’t understand why CM Punk is letting Otunga take his role either, but if CM Punk taking a backseat while still wrestling allows ADR to become a star, I might be okay with it.
@monkeytorture
That. Would. Have. Been. Perfect. There is no other way for the show to have ended. That is/was the only thing that could have saved it.
I, admittedly, have been one of those asshole readers who always checks out the columns but doesn’t always comment. For that, I’ll google image ‘Luna Vachon naked’ and eat hard boiled eggs for the next 10 minutes…..
…..(can’t decide if this is punishment or a warped fantasy finally realized)…..
ALL DONE!!! once again, lots of great breakdown in here. I was lol’lering all the live long day when KK went big tittied blond velociraptor full retard on beth phoenix.
God only knows what’s to come over the next few weeks/months/year. The talent is there. The story lines are there. The direction? my dismissive wank o’ meter is telling me not so much. Does that mean i’ll stop watching? nope.
No beer and no TV make John Cena something something.
Major Worst of the night: Seeing all those gorgeous and athletic divas outside of the ring and not knowing who most of them were and wondering why most of them aren’t being used. Seriously, pair a few of them up with wrestlers and stables. Hell, use them as fodder for K2 and Beth. Just use them! Or at the very least, switch Eve with another Diva not being used. I’ve concluded that my dislike for K2 stems from her association with Eve. They have a good number of divas that they could make women’s wrestling interesting with storylines. If the E doesn’t want to do that, they should save their money and future endeavor them already.
That Beth Phoenix speech was ridiculous. Now that I have that out of my system, to the reading!
For the most part it was a solid episode of Raw with the highlight being, for me anyway, Kelly Kelly going crazy on Beth. The way she was just breaking down screaming “you stole my championship” was great to watch. It got me believing she was legitimately upset about losing it.
Triple H is the worst. I can’t believe I actually used to like him back when I was under 13. He just really can’t let anyone else have the last word. Also, like I believed you may have mentioned before, he seems to have erased his own history but is allowed to attack everyone’s past.
Your recaps are awesome. Even if I don’t always comment, know that I always enjoy reading every one.
Great write-up, Brandon. Some thoughts:
1)Why can’t the McMahon family ever put their ego aside for the sake of the story. They won the Monday Night Wars and are the biggest, baddest kids on the block, stop shoving it down our throats. THIS is why the UFC’s beating you in PPV buys.
2) I learn so much about wrestling from reading your blog. You’re like the Bill Nye of pro wrestling.
3) I’d appreciate it if Stanford would stop making God Mode Sues in general. This goes back to the whole McMahon-UFC thing.
4) More GOOD female wrestling matches.
5) WWE Television Title.
6) Undisputed World Heavyweight Championship.
7)…
8) PROFIT
B4 they had Kelly Kelly go cray cray, i thought Beth and Natalya holding up the belt together was gonna lead to a Natalya being tired of being in Beths shadow and becoming her nemesis, sort of how the Miz-Riley thing should hav gone if A-ri wasnt terrible. i think that would hav been cool, now i dont know whats better.
great as always Brandon.
Best recap in a long time, sir. President Johnson shit was gold.
@TinyTime – Ha, I’m glad somebody liked that.
@Everyone else – Thanks for the comments. I really did find myself liking (most of) the show a lot, so I’m glad it came through.
Is it weird I ran out to get some chicken scoops as soon as I saw that photo?
Best review yet.
I think HHH has finally figured out a way to be the top guy year round. In the past, he would get injured for 8 months due to steroid abuse and try to get the wrestlers to say “Hey……where’s Hunter?” in his absence but it never took. Now, all he has to do is wear a suit and he can be on RAW for 45% of the time. Brilliant.
I haven’t watched WWE since Vince McMahon died the 2nd time (and that was the first time I’d watched since the Benoit tribute/when Vince died the 1st time), and I haven’t found myself interested enough to watch again.
That being said, I read this report every week, even though I have no clue who half these guys are. I do recognize the guy from I Love New York (don’t judge me).
This column is absolutely hilarious. For a second, I was gonna say “I thought the Pulp Fiction promo had Booker T and Eddie Guerrero” but then I clicked the link.
I actually don’t hate this stuff. I wish more emphasis was on the conspiracy piece still, but I find this both interesting and believable given events. That said, I’m losing my faith in HHH. I was even a guy that hasn’t minded him stealing the show the last couple months. But him being the only good guy in the company is pretty stupid.
That might be The People’s fault, though. I usually is…
-Hooray, you used my suggestion of “Voices” being played 3x as a “worst”! QUIET I NEED THIS
-Which Heenan Family member is Christian? Hmm…Rick Rude?
-That has got to be the most Brady Bunch references ever written into a RAW recap.
-I’m imagining Eve whining, “I CAN’T PUT MY ARMS DOWN!”, and it’s not not funny. She should try to do her bizarre pop-lock-point dancing in an overstuffed snow suit. Ratings.
Just wanted to let you know – I don’t even watch raw anymore! Your recaps are more entertaining than the shows!
The Del Rio and Henry things from the vote were two of the funniest things that happened last night. I rewound to rewatch both of those things.
I did wanna get your opinion on something though: did you think it was weird that Cena, Punk, and to a lesser extent Orton and a guy like Sheamus were nowhere to be found during the whole vote? Do they just not give a shit? Is that was we’re supposed to think? I feel like this would be right up Cena’s alley. “I don’t like what Triple H is doing, but I love this company and theses fans and all of you who are walking out are wieners! You’re quitting and I never quit!” Or something to that effect. And Punk should be leading this whole thing. He should at least fucking talk during it, no?
@fte88 – I agree with Greene in that WWE wanted the fans to boo the wrestlers when they walked out at the end, and they’d have trouble doing that if a bunch of guys they love to cheer were walking out with them.
This vote of no confidence thing is so bogus. It’s not going anywhere… I was waiting for Cena, Punk and Orton to come out and stand behind HHH just so I could vomit. This storyline stinks.
More Katilyn, less shit.
First, it is beyond me how the fans could cheer H-Cubed and boo the wrestlers. Makes no sense. He is unbearable anymore.
Second, and more importantly, it seems painfully obvious to me Who Raised And Then Lowered The Cell. The ghost of the Big Bossman. He clearly knows how to operate the mechanism for raising and lowering Things That Hang Above WWE Rings. Plus he’s still bitter about The Brood swooping down from the rafters onto the roof of the Cell to lower a noose to Undertaker to be used to hang Bossman from said Cell at WrestleMania XV.
Yeah Brandon I definitely get that, but how do you think they explain that in the context of the angle?
@fte88 – Honestly? I expect them to assume we didn’t notice.
When the show was 99% CM Punk speaking “truth to power” aka sassy kid sassback, I thought of HHH as his no-nonsense foster dad. Obviously he should have all of his little Jimmies taken away from him: Poor little Zach! Though a meat-man can only take so much, and JR did walk out on him, which was sad even for me and I wish HHH would move to impact wresting because I don’t watch that one.
Haha fair enough.
@Brandon/fte88: Average WWE fan in creative’s eyes: “Hey, where are Cena and CM Punk and should we really be cheering Tripl-OMG A PEDIGREE YAY!!”
Seriously, another PPV? How many PPVs they are going to have before the year is out? Also, I am tired of Otunga talking about law. He has to be worst lawyer ever!
@DeCinces – There’s another one in like two weeks.
Someone else put an interesting spin on the Beth Phoenix comment which made me alright with it. And that was tough, given that I am a lady who loves her some good ladies rasslin’ and that statement almost made me turn off the television and leave the room. Hell, I still refuse to anything nice about Tyson Kidd after his misogynistic comments at the Slammy Awards.
When Beth said ‘something could happen,’ perhaps she was referring to herself. Why wouldn’t she be the one Mark Henry-ing her way through the Diva’s locker room and snapping Yelly Kelly in half? Perhaps it was less a comment on girls being the weaker of the bunch, and moreso ‘Maybe you should do something now, because if you don’t I will end Kelly Kelly’s world?’
@DeCinces How can you hate lawyer Otunga? At the very least it’s so bad it’s funny.
I would have preferred that del Rio had voted via car; if he came out in a red car while smiling and honking the horn constantly that would mean a Yes vote; if he came out in a black car and had his angry “you poked holes in my Mexican Billionaire gimmick” face, then that would mean a No vote.
I would not be opposed to ADR using luxury cars as an elaborate mood ring.
A+ this week Brandon. One thing about the Ryder burial video, WWE.com pulled it almost immediately and never reposted it so maybe they don’t want that to be canon and someone fucked up?
@Danielle what on earth spin could have someone put on what Beth said to make it ok? Even Brandon said it was his WORST WORST EVER!! Of course Beth was referring to herself, but in what sub-universe of the WWE is she weak and since when do Divas need rape insurance?
@fte88, I know he is bad, but it’s pain dealing with it when you are in law school too.
That Zack Ryder/Triple H interaction was the best. The set-up, the punchline. It was absurd. Reminded me this is all fun. Like you said, house show.
Oh and we all know this ends with Vince yelling “IT’S ME
AUSTINTRIPLE H!! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!!” The sooner you accept it Brandon, he happier you’ll be.Am I the only one who finds it odd and a little frustrating that Truth and Miz are now getting the storyline that CM Punk should’ve? That is to say, they get to send in vignettes from off of the show, and show up at shows as “paying customers” just to screw with everyone, while Punk had to be brought back the very next night?
How much better would all of this have run if HHH was unable to get the title back, or the guy holding it to resign? Those would be ACTUAL failure, as far as a wrestling company is be concerned. Instead, Punk causes change by becoming buddy-buddy with Cena and the other faces. I still love Punk, but his character is completely gone at this point, and he’s just “smart ass, sassy face”, while Miz and Truth get to do the awesome stuff that HE should’ve been doing.
I can’t think of anything but Super Dave Osbourne as Larry from Arrested Development when John Laurinaitis opens his mouth. Also, so many douche chills during that whole “no confidence” segment at the end. I just can’t imagine that i’m gonna get any kinda enjoyment when this whole angle comes to a head.
im gonna comment before i read… because i know ill forget to after.
@tpir Perhaps if you read my comment, you would understand? In no way did I say that Beth Phoenix was weak, and by bringing the term ‘rape insurance’ into the thread, I’m pretty sure you just negated any point you have to make, no matter the validity.
You need to start an offshoot food column based off of the Popeye’s takedown alone. Great stuff.
Not enough comments are about how much last night’s crowd sucked. B…what’s the lowest worst for a Raw? Horrifying worst? They cheer Triple H? Constant “WHAT?” chants? WHAT was never cool…and it’s been ten FREAKING years. Let it the hell go, Rednecks.
Your DDT reference fills me with joy, and I’m just imagining how amazing the world would be if it was revealed that Misutero had NOT given a vote of no confidence or walked out. Also it made me dream of YOSHIHIKO competing in the Royal Rumble or ending the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak or being the Anonymous Raw GM or any number of things.
1980′s- “Dude, Piper just knocked Snuka out with a coconut!”
1990′s- “Oh my god, Shaun Michaels just kicked Marty Jannetty and threw him through the barber shop window? Can good guys do that?”
2000′s- “Rock N’ Sock Connection is COMEDY GOLD!”
2010′s- “The acting COO receives unanimous votes of NO CONFIDENCE! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!”
Surrogate COO is annoying me. Repeat your title to everyone another week and you will top Cole as the top candidate for jizz mop top. Booker seems to not know where his sentence is going to end when he starts speaking as well. Just let JR call the match and please STFU. A grown man with a fake crown in his hands who insults wrestlers also got his ass kicked by one of those wrestlers and complained about an unsafe work environment. Lots of stuff that makes no damned sense BUT Henry is a great heel, Del Rio and Punk are fantastic in the ring and there are others who are putting on a good show weekly. Ill be watching again next week.
“Raw’s coming to Austin in a few weeks, and I would legitimately rather see the Raw Superstars on strike and a show with Bateman, Dean Ambrose, Leah West and whatever they’re calling Claudio Castagnoli.”
(1) Don’t forget Alex Kozlov (Peter Orlov) and Tyler Black (Seth Rollins), to say nothing of Richie Steamboat and Bo Rotundo.
(2) Claudio is now “Antonio Cesaro.” If a name like that allows him to continue the Eurotrash gimmick he worked periodically in ROH, I am 10000% on board, and…
(3) I just need some Chris Hero and I’m a happy guy.
So what I’m supposed to take from that final segment is that: a) there are only five or six good standup guys in WWE (as long as you take the Cenas/Ortons of the world not bothering to show up for a major company decision as a vote of confidence for HHH) and b) everyone else is either a bad guy or a chickenshit who won’t stand up to corporate terrorism. K, got that. I will be sure to boo the cameramen at my next WWE tv event. I miss WCW being around as competition, those are the last days I remember an effort by companies to make the entire roster at least interesting. Now it’s just the six guys we feature, and the leftovers we use for group reaction shots.
@Danielle – ok well what you said didn’t make any sense assuming you watched the show. I mean, if I have to explain to a female wrestling fan why that part of the segment was the absolute worst thing of all-time you must be trolling. Your tone trolling on “rape insurance” is evidence of this too. I was being unfriendly to WWE Creative and speaking to how absurd I thought the segment was, I don’t approve of rape or anything. That should have been obvious but again I doubt your sincerity.
The only part of the show I got frustrated at was that HHH doesnt know what his pretend job is “Its my job to make sure that the fans get a great show, I really only work for the fans, the fans sign all of your checks”…When actually none of those things are true and Mr H has no idea what his job description involves
I’m not trolling, I’m merely presenting a different take on something that probably had good intentions but was extremely poor on delivery.
You said rape insurance, not I. If rape is the first thing your mind goes to than perhaps there is a larger problem that you need addressed.
Clearly what she said was terrible in every aspect, but it could have meant something else as there is NO reason to suddenly make the strongest female in the company not on maternity leave play up to the notion that women are weaker than men.
If people can devote paragraph after paragraph analyzing every eyebrow raise and shrug of someone like CM Punk, why can’t any kind of idea or analysis be put forth for someone in the Divas division? I can’t defend how she said it, but I can wonder why, and question exactly what was lost in translation in hopes that it mean more than ‘Well fiddle dee-dee, we don’t know nothin’ ’bout no rasslin’.’
I love the Best/Worsts no matter what, but the worst about Popeye’s fried chicken dippers was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a wrestling blog in a while. Absolutely ridiculous but hilarious.
I find it really hard to fault the fans for booing everyone but HHH last night. This may be part of the Ayche’s plan, but this whole vote of no confidence thing has been pushed by heels for a few weeks now. And once they actually do get around to the vote the only people actually talking are heels, refs, and Jerry Lawler. You can’t expect fans to spin on a dime that night and start being with the ‘bad guys’ on this.
However, I am still holding out hope that these events are all the machinations of CM Punk. They have enough breadcrumbs out there where Super Dave is onto Punk’s conspiracy but noone will believe him and it would fit in with B’s Cult of Personality hypothesis.
If there can be any bright spot in not including Punk or Cena in the walkout, it’s that it entirely feasible that not only will we get treated to Punk having all the time in the world to shove it in HHH’s face next Monday, but also that a Cena vs. Punk 60-minute classic just might have to anchor the show.
I was disappointed that Punk didn’t at least reprise his Nelson Muntz impression from when Nash was fired at the end of the show.
I also find it funny that John Morrison has become the new Evan Bourne, now that the old one actually has something to do besides hit some flashy offense and job.
Finally, the connection between the Futurama reference and WWE booking makes so much sense that I hate myself for not making it before Brandon did.
Funniest part is that the Lawsuit Contingent HHH calls babies/girls hold 3 out of the 4 single male championships in the company. And the other one is held by the Immortal Mark Henry.
Furthermore, I love Public Frenemy’s idea for Alberto Del Rio and hope it becomes reality, and only partially because I heard Ron Swanson saying it.
The was a shitty way to end the show, for most of the reasons you stated. My summer of Punk enthusiasm has severely waned, but theres still a lot to like (Henry, the heel coalition, some good wrestling, Kelly).
I just know the Triple H thing is going to go on too long and have a bad ending. At least Punk has passed Cena as top merch mover, so he won’t be shunted down the card.
And yea, everything Del Rio does is awesome. Noticing things like him defending Ricardo are always things that help my enjoyment, like that and Punk yelling “I’M FLYING” as he does his springboard clothesline
I get what Danielle was saying, because at first I kind of thought that’s where it was going as well but Triple H turned around and was like “Lolz wut has even happened to you” and she responded back and I gave up on that entire part of the segment.
That’s when it became clear the WWE were trying to put over the fact that RAW was a wild zone and using the women to do it. As if the place was so unruly the women were terrified it was going to turn into TNA and someone was going to kick them in their vagina or that the Dudley Boyz were going to pop back up on RAW and start power bombing girls left and right.
I was grateful that they saved the most boring part of the show til the end, and also annoyed at them for including it at all.
I too thought Beth Phoenix being the “but I’m just a helpless girl!” spokesperson was stupid. That whole bit with her was bad, to the point where I thought she must’ve forgotten what she was actually supposed to say and just made up some stupid shit on the spot.
I don’t really care where this COO thing is going. I’m much more interested in Blue vs. Black Sin Cara.
I’d like to think that Jerry Lawler walking out was a shoot. Because that idea pleases me. Almost as much as him slipping on Randy Orton’s spray tan and crushing his goddamn voice box.
Good, as always. I especially agree wih the last part. I’m a casual fan that felt e tremor of the Punk/Cena angle and got sucked back in. Now…I’m almost regretting that decision. Any momentum they had is gone.
More screen-caps of Kaitlyn, please.
Can we put pics in these comments? If so, I humbly submit the following pic of Sheamus FIRED UP: [img.photobucket.com]
Also, thanks for calling HHH out on being such a huge hypocrite and basically pro-bully.
Silly, WWE.
I read your recap last night, and then had a dream about playing golf with the Chickbusters. Awesome dream. Hot Chickbusters in golf outfits! Thanks Brandon!
Oh, yeah, the recap was good too.
Still reading. Still enjoying!
Thank you for the Jean Shepherd reference. Simple and beautiful-made me laugh immediately. Keep it up
“Cena, who came into the ring with five specials saved”
That was the line that floored me this week. LOL.
Great read as ever.
3 Things about the walk out…
1. I disliked the fact that the”Faces” of Raw were missing to me it says that they are smug assholes who don’t care.
2. I was really hoping that Miz and R-Truth would jump the guard rail and beat down Trips after everyone walked away from him. Wishfull thinking sure.
3. What if Johnny A
The ending would have been acceptable ONLY if they played the them to Curb Your Enthusiasm while a befuddled Triple H looked up at a dissaproving Funk Man.
For someone who calls himself “the Game” he is remarkably out of it… He actually reminds me of the old SNL skit about the former Porn Stars who kept trying to get new jobs but always messed it up because doing porn was all they know. HHH only knows how to be a “Heel” and seems confused about how he got those cheers. DX every (incarnation)was a “Heel” team. Evolution… Heel, Even when he was fighting Legacy he was a “Heel” (only dragged into it because the “Heel” McMahon family were getting their asses (heads) kicked (punted) by “uber-Heel” Randy Orton and cohorts. So he just kinda goes around and goes for the cheap pops and he gives his finisher to everyone who tries to help him a la Stone Cold. But the thing was Stone Cold would get the deck piled against him and he had a code of “Don’t Trust Anyone” and came off as an insecure regular guy who would rather take a beating than get help. While HHH has used his pedigrees as “I’m a dick and I am better than everyone”.
An OK read, though not as good as Hell in a Cell. Probably because there were a few references that I didn’t get/I couldn’t remember what it was from. *shrugs shoulders*
CM Punk’s character evolution over the past 4 months reminds me of Rick Wild Thing Vaughn. At the beginning of the summer, he was Vaughn from major league 1. When he won the title, that was him throwing 101 at the end. Now, he’s Wild Thing Vaughn of Major League 2 from the first 80 minutes of the film. Every time he comes out, he’s metaphorically throwing his terminator pitch, which as we all know, got changed to the masturbater because it sucked so much. At some point, and I hope to God soon, Punk will stop pretending to be smilin’ John Cena (whose Dorn in our analogy) and will put his skull glasses back on and will be back throwing 102 at the end of our movie.
@Thatsamare – Which ones didn’t you get? I’ll be happy to expound/clarify.
Now that I’ve watched the show, I can actually comment on it:
That tag team match was pretty awesome. I enjoyed the wild albeit predictable finish. The Orton/Teddeh match was pretty good as well. Surprised at the burial of Jinder Mahal, although I normally fast-forward through every one of his matches/segments so that didn’t bother me.
I HATED the K2/Beth Phoenix clusterf*ck. Kelly Kelly screeching for 3 straight minutes while beating down Beth and acting like a heel, when she’s supposed to be a face was just horrible television.
And sorry Brandon, but she still sucks. I’m not taking the piss out of the entire Divas division, but there are other women on the roster who are far more talented and deserve a shot in the spotlight. Kelly Kelly is a prime example of why people don’t take women’s wrestling seriously. She’s just awful.
Best: The Heel Squad. At first, I thought it was kind of dumb, but, ADR, Christian, Ziggler, and of course Cody made me shut my mouth. Same with the 12 man tag; I thought it would be terrible, and I found myself riveted all the way through. Sheamus and Swagger going gorilla on each other was great.
Personally, there should be some kind of Euro tussle going on. McIntyre, Sheamus, Mason Ryan… come on, this should work, given that Swagger’s an All American American asshole, there’s got to be some fun, Olympic-style angle to be used.
Worst: While I generally really enjoyed the show, one nitpick keeps bugging me (aside from the ones you’ve mentioned)… ADR and Mark Henry should not come out to group music. They’re the champs, they get top billing. That’s part of being champ.
And I love that almost all the belts are on heels.
Great recap Brandon. Way to call out that stupid Mahal/Marella moment for being the embarssment that it was.
“Eve lay there like a slug, her only defense.”
K squared is gonna join Da Conspiracy (aka Awesome Truth). It would make Beth’s comments make sense. She is legit afraid of Kelly Kelly going insane and beating the crap out of her backstage. Yes the comments are still stupid, but it’s foreshadowing Kelly’s defection and heel turn. That’s why she wasn’t out there in the vote of no confidence. IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!
/wishful thinking
Thanks for the recap. It was a fun read. I enjoyed the show (mostly) but the ending was just horrible as it re-emphasied what we already knew: no one is above HHH on the food chain. I hope the rumours of CM Punk re-gaining the spotlight over the next few months are true because just about all of his momentum has been brought to a screeching halt since HHH reappeared on the scene as C.O.O. in a storyline that I just can’t bring myself to care about. Although I loved your defence of Kelly Kelly, I just can’t take her seriously. Her prime offence (and defence) just seems to be screaming and every time she attempts to run the ropes it just takes me out of the match. In an ideal world, Kaitlyn would take her spot and wear that gold outfit every week. . .
I wish you didnt hate scoopable chicken so much. You are part of the conspiracy.
oh for f*ck’s sake, they changed Mark Henry’s entrance music. I was getting a kick out of it being one of my favorite themes still available on No Mercy for N64, and they just HAD to go and change it…
well, as my father would say, at least we still have the American Males
[www.youtube.com]
Awesome, as always!
Otunga went for the neckbreaker because he was just bought SvR 2010 and that was the first time reversing finishers took more than button-mashing. He also hadn’t checked out the Create-A-Finisher yet, which is why his finisher is just a spinebuster instead of a fisherman suplex into a powerbomb into five consecutive dick kicks and then a Stunner.
BEST (at least for me): My 2-year old woke up crying just as all of the superstars were coming down to the ring for the “vote of no confidence that this well end well”.
Ugh. Just – ugh. I don’t even have the stomach for Waiting to See How it All Plays Out (c) on this one. My guess is a Funkhauser/Foley HIAC match at Royal Rumble and a WWE championship reign for Aytches in the near future.
/cuntrifled
I don’t watch Raw but I never miss one of your recaps B. Great work as always. Can we just go ahead right and make “Sheamus destroying people” a permanent best?
@Jake Plummer’s Porn Stache – Chris Benoit taught me that nothing can be a permanent best.
Great recap, as always.
What’s irritating is that they didn’t even really explain very well at why there was such a massive walkout. John MOrrison had a series of in-character tweets afterwards: “If the WWE universe is paying our checks maybe the pay scale among us independent contractors should be a bit more evenly distributed…maybe forming a union is a good idea… all other entertainment and sporting entities have them…getting an individual health insurance policy after neck surgery is not easy…I wonder if HHH has an individual health insurance plan, or gets group coverage because he’s classified as an employee…I like chaos! If they all leave & I stay, maybe HHH & I could do 5 backstage segments, an in ring promo, and an hour match next week! Who am I kidding, HHH is a narcissist. He doesn’t think I’m at his level- His main concern is positioning himself as the center of attention. We’re voting now? Everyone’s walking out!maybe walking out will get HHH to realize he can’t do this alone, the WWE Universe wants to see different people in the mix. There’s a roster full of superstars that want chaos, that want the ball, that want to be on the road at every WWE event. The past is always afraid of the future. HHH’s ego is hungry. He’s got a steak dinner every Monday night- but if he thinks his ego’s gonna snack elsewhere; I’m gonna eat his lunch!”
See, all one of the wrestlers had to say was something along those lines on camera, and then you have a much more believable reason for way most of the company walked out. Insurance concerns– hell most people can relate to being stuck as a temp, on not getting healthcare due to lack of insurance.
People already mentioned the Undertaker burying Big Bossman. He also also created Buried Alive and Hell in a Cell and tried to crucify Stephanie McMahon and Steve Austin. That didn’t make co-workers feel unsafe? His half brother Kane set JR on frigging FIRE, and he walks NOW? HHH mentioned the Nexus… and well the Nexus raised hell for a good while there and the referees seemed fine.
Maybe if it was revealed that HHH really was bebehind some conspiracy… that’d be okay. But something tells me they are just gearing up to do the big “HERE COMES VINCE WHAT A TWEEEST” move.
Great recap!
I think the best part is the last paragraph where you remind folks that there was a great angle a few months ago in CM Punk and Cena. Where have they gone indeed? Is this really better? I can’t see how, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one.
For future editions, please make Burnsy photoshop the soccer kid’s face over Triple H’s. It would make Tuesdays so much brighter after his Monday segments.
Rape Insurance would be an awesome band name.
I liked that the last page of this recap was the little things you liked in a segment you didn’t. That’s how I’ve stomached Raw for the last couple of months. Focus on the little things that make me smile or laugh or cheer and try not to let Triple H deprive me of those things.
God damn fuck off Triple H.
Glamazon Beth Phoenix sounds like Stephanie McMahon who sounds like D.W. Read from Arthur.
needed a laugh today and you brought the goods.
cheers bro.
Still begging for comments? Okay, this time I’ll bite.
I started reading this column during the summer of Punk angle. I kept reading because it’s entertaining. It’s now a must read for me because a while back you mentioned making a podcast for it. I would subscribe. I would tell my friends to subscribe.
But for now, I read it every week, and hope that Raw might entertain me as much as this column one day.
I laughed so much through this column. Superb.
A awesome as kelly^2 was in the beatdown, was any one else hoping for a chair or title smack? Or would that just be too much? I mean after all, beth’s just a girl and something could happen to her.
You missed Mark Henry agreeing with Jerry Lawler after taking him out 3 weeks ago
I read Best and Worst because it’s entertaining–that’s what makes me F4 as fast as I can on Tuesday afternoons. That said, the best part of this week’s B&W was seeing that you and others agree that HHH should not be the likable guy in this situation. All kinds of crazy shit is happening and, at best, he’s doing nothing. At worst, there’s some seriously disparate treatment of people in the similar situations, which is somehow worse than nothing. Oh, and he beat the hell out of two dudes in handcuffs. That was totally noble and definitely wasn’t a crime at all.
I wasn’t too bothered by Cole’s expert analysis of a vote of no confidence. When compared to prior butcherings of legal and business procedure, that’s pretty tame. I’m still reeling from when HHH told Vince that the “Board of Directors has filed an injunction against you with a vote of no confidence.” I broke my DVR’s replay button trying to sort that one out.
You know, David Otunga being a Harvard Law-educated lawyer person and still failing to really break through as a character on two separate reality TV shows (OH COME ON I SAY THAT OUT OF LOVE, CRIS ABREGO) isn’t exactly a great argument for law school.
B, I am a latecomer wrestling fan, and these recaps are highlights of my week. Thanks for being the sort of person who can both love something and critique it — and do both hilariously.
Thanks again for the comments, everybody. The feedback I get on these is outstanding, and I’m glad to be of service.
I completely missed ADR sticking up for Ricardo. That is fantastic!
Also, @Hirsby, I totally agree that Regal was great in his conflicted walk away.
Best: Finding out “Raw is coming to Austin in a few weeks”. Frack yes.
I finally got to watch this week’s show, and even though it’s late, I’ve got stuff to sort out:
- First off, awesome writeup as always, B. I’m really enjoying both the article itself and the non-douchey comments that follow it every week.
- Ok, John Morrison’s t-shirt, I’d be confused if you said “I’m gonna eat your lunch,” but if Morrison actually said it on TV sometime I’d sort of accept it. But “We’re Gonna Eat Your Lunch”? Who the hell is “we”?
- Dolph Ziggler. Of all the cool shit he does, the way he makes finishers look awesome might be the coolest. He managed to make Ryder’s move look painful, which is an achievement unto itself. But sweet Jesus the way he took the Brogue Kick was effing incredible. I hope when Austin makes his inevitable appearance around Mania that Dolph mixes it up with him, if only to see what it looks like when Dolph takes a Stunner in the middle of the ring and ends up smashing the announce table.
- The 12-man was just really fun stuff.
- The end segment, guh. I don’t want to be Attitude Era Guy, but the reason Austin vs. McMahon was so easy to get behind is because the boss was the bad guy, and that’s relatable. I don’t even really understand what they’re going for here, and I think the fans are confused too.
- The Beth Phoenix thing was miserable.
- If they decided that unsafe working conditions/chaos/loss of control was the way they were going to go, shouldn’t they have taken a minute to actually do something to support that. Barrett brought up getting jumped in the parking lot – when the hell was the last time that happened? Chioda said he’s never been afraid to work before – the refs went on strike before because Triple H, et al. kept kicking the shit out of them! Just take a couple weeks and have all hell break loose before you have everyone walk out for hell allegedly breaking loose.
- I feel like we can pencil in a final segment between now and Mania where Stephanie is standing in between Vince and Ayches and crying. And boy is that shit going to blow.
@85 – Not only the way Ziggler took the Brogue Kick, but the camera work on that spot was AMAZING. I actually flinched for a second, as it looked as though Sheamus’ foot was going to come out of my television “Ring”-style and bloody my nose.
The Raw crowd just cheered to see HHH fight a broom