Best: Beth’s Dress
I can’t say much for last night’s Divas effort, but Beth Phoenix looked awfully nice in that sparkly pink dress. The only things sparklier on the night were John Morrison’s pants.
Worst: We Really Don’t Care About Alicia Fox
I mentioned the crowd reactions not really coming through on television, but did you hear the reaction Alicia Fox had during her entrance? That was accurate. The crowd had been loud all night, but as Alicia did her ridiculously fake forward walk to the ring it was like we were in f**king church. All I could do was think back to the conversation I had the previous night with Rachel Summerlyn at ACW about what the WWE wants on television and where the Beth and Nattie thing was going, and how hard it must be to be a woman in the WWE and get relegated to stuff like this. About thirty seconds into the match my brain fired and I went “oh, right, Alicia Fox is supposed to be a good guy now”. I think I remember that because of which group she entered with during the walk-out a few weeks ago. I write obsessively and at length about this every week and I had to rely on backhanded details to tell me what was happening. The rest of the crowd wasn’t so lucky.
Alicia’s not that bad, I guess. Her scissor kick looks good even when it hits the back of somebody’s legs when she’s aiming at their head. She’s obviously got some gymnastic athleticism and don’t forget, she was one-half of the greatest match of all time. She’s just… not a character. She’s not a person you remember when you’re doing a WWE roster Sporcle. You’re like, “oh, right Alicia Fox is still employed” and then your brain goes “Alicia Fox, ROSA MENDES” and you type Rosa Mendes and go “oh, okay, Rosa Mendes is still employed”. Then you stare at the screen for 20 seconds trying to remember whether or not Tyler Reks is a thing.
Worst: WHY IS ALICIA FOX WINNING THIS, COME ON
And she won.
I don’t know about you, but if tasked to convince a worldwide audience that Beth Phoenix and Natalya are the toughest girls in the company and Hell-bent on destroying the perky little non-athlete Divas, my first step would not be to have them lose 9 out of 10 matches to the perky little non-athlete Divas and only win that 10th one because of outside interference. Alicia Fox has a combined 1 victory in her 18 years in the company and should not be pinning Natalya under any circumstances. End of story.
Best: Kelly Kelly, Anti-Exhibitionist
Not sure why someone was filming Kelly Kelly and Eve watching Raw (or why when the camera cut to them, the screen they were watching didn’t show them being filmed, because that was on Raw) (or why they didn’t run out to help Alicia Fox when she was getting beaten up in front of them), but that is easily the most clothing I’ve ever seen Kelly Kelly wear. Her days as Mike Knox’s concubine are long gone, aren’t they? She should wrestle in a g-string bikini, but when she’s backstage be bundled up like an Inuit at all times.
Worst: F**k You And Your F**king What Chants
The Miz and R-Truth came to the ring and talked, and the “What” chants started up. “What” chants are the worst thing to happen to wrestling crowds since “you f**ked up”, and here’s why: It’s 2011 and even Stone Cold Steve Austin has moved on. The only people who bring “What” signs to Raw look like this:
If you attend a WWE live event and think it might be funny to chant “What”, remember that 1) it is not funny ever, 2) you are probably not old enough to remember where the chant even came from, which is why you yell WOO after chops and do that dumb double-armed Wayne’s World “we’re not worthy” bowing thing to Triple H, and 3) you look like this guy. Remember #3 the most.