Best: Enough Is Enough, And It’s Time For A Change To This Commercial
Improvements to this commercial include:
1. Sheamus, who says one line, but it’s awesome. OY’L FOIT ‘IM!
2. Wrestlers suddenly, randomly wearing dress clothes. Everyone in this commercial looks like a party guest from a Brian De Palma movie. John Cena is wearing a suit (that disappointingly isn’t bright red) and Eve looks like she just cockeye moonsaulted out of the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.
3. Somebody realized that having the Bella Twins, the most bully characters in modern WWE history, in the “don’t bully” commercial was hilarious and hypocritical.
4. Daniel Bryan is gone, both because he’s going to be turning heel soon and because they didn’t recognize him and forgot he was a wrestler.
5. Evan Bourne being dressed like an Archie character or an AVIATION ENTHUSIAST, I can’t tell, but either one is great.
6. Hahaha yeah I bet David Arquette knows a thing or two about being called names on the Internet.
Best: CM Punk Hates Bullies
CM Punk gets his wish, and is now featured in every dumb K-Mart promotion and Slurpee cup WWE creates. CM Punk doesn’t want you to be a bully. The guy who did this:
Knows the danger of words. Maybe the Bella Twins weren’t the worst person to be in this commercial after all.
In a related story, unf, I miss you, bald straight-edge Serena.
Worst: Angus T. Jones Doesn’t Give A Sh*t About Bullies
Look at this guy, he’s a teenage millionaire and he could not possibly be less interested in what words do to you. If he cared about words, he wouldn’t have spent the last nine years on “Two And A Half Men”.
Yeah, this kid is definitely a Member.
Best: If I’m In An Austin Jail, What Number Do I Call To Get Released
Oh, okay, and while I’m talking about commercials I don’t know if this airs anywhere outside of Austin, but I need to share it with you.
This is actually part two of a two-part ad that airs during the same break. The first commercial just says FOR JAIL RELEASE CALL SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN then adds AGAIN and repeats it two more times. It actually makes me feel like it’s SUPER IMPORTANT and that I’m going to be in jail soon and need to know who to call for release. Call SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN. SEVEN.