"Thank you for your gift from beyond."
26) Oakland Raiders (4-2) – Let me get this straight, the Raiders now have an actual, honest-to-dog quarterback to go along with their incredible running back tandem and some very talented young receivers? And they waited until after Al Davis died to do this? Dick move.
(As for the trade, I do think 2 first rounders for Palmer is WAY WAY WAY too much, seeing as he has spent his offseason tailgating at USC games, but if you’re a Raiders fan and your team is 4-2 and just lost its mediocre QB for the season, you have to push the immediate rage aside and try to get excited about this.)
27) San Diego Chargers (4-1) – My buddy and I spent a good hour last week discussing what it is about Philip Rivers that makes us hate him so much. We don’t even know. We just do.
28) Baltimore Ravens (4-1) – How does this defense manage to keep getting better and better when the average age is like 72?
29) New England Patriots (5-1) – Does anyone else feel like this whole Chad Ochocinco drama is just a smoke screen, and that once defenses completely lock down on Wes Welker, Tom Brady is going to start lighting No. 85 up? No? OK, good.
30) Detroit Lions (5-1) – It sounds strange, but the Lions needed to lose. The classic team of destiny mold only works for fan bases that don’t get too full of themselves. I’m not saying that’s how Lions fans were behaving, but I want them to win with class and dignity. I want this team to be great, like the 2009 Saints. We don’t need people acting like douchebags over it. Speaking of…
31) San Francisco 49ers (5-1) – And the early frontrunner for the dumbest moment of the season that people can’t stop talking about is the postgame handshake between Lions coach Jim Schwartz and 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh. Look, I love the fact that we’ve got some fiery young coaching blood in the NFL, and I’m all for building some new rivalries, but this was just two boys measuring their rods. I bet Todd Haley was watching in the clubhouse and just boiling over from jealousy.
32) Green Bay Packers (6-0) – I’m not one to normally criticize perfection, since this Packers passing attack is simply marvelous. But could we possibly get Jermichael Finley back into the mix? Thannnnnnks.
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“Why on Earth would Tony Sparano and his coaching staff cow tow”
Burnsy, it’s “kowtow”
/pushes glasses back to top of nose
There is no way in hell that Luck doesn’t declare for the draft after this season. Good call on the Case Keenum comparison Burnsy.
Ugh, I’ve had zero coffee.
I second the throwing to Jermichael Finely motion.
“My buddy and I spent a good hour last week discussing what it is about Philip Rivers that makes us hate him so much. We don’t even know. We just do.”
Everything. Try and list one thing you LIKE about him. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
And, no, Marmalard posts on KSK don’t count. Though, they are the only good thing that will ever come from Phillip Rivers’ legacy.
I disagree, the Dolphins are tanking it. How the hell did Marshall manage to run out of bounds last night when he had the ball with a few yards head start and an open field in front of him? And how about that risky, long pass attempt on 3rd and inches? And why did the Dolphins run effective blitzes in the first part of the game and then stop? Ross is either paying Sparano off, or promised to keep him next year, if he wins suck for Luck.
I think Sparano is staying regardless because Ross knows how badly he botched that whole Harbaugh courting. But that one Brandon play is going to be talked about all season as the defining moment. I love it because it gives this whole theory life.
The Dolphins are starting Moore at QB, they are obviously tanking it.
The reason you hate Philip Rivers is because, every January, he makes the same pouty face after his 4th interception, like “How DARE they catch what I’m throwing right at them? I’m supposed to go to the Super Bowl, not you, stupid Tom Brady!!!”
Dolphins tanking conspiracy theory:
For agreeing to tank the season for Ross Sparano gets to keep his job and he gets to fly around with Ross as he interviews new GM candidates. After finding a new GM he gets to ask for Ireland’s playbook. Paybacks a bitch.
that picture of Eli makes the whole grantland most eligible pseudo-bachelor qb articles even more incomprehensible to me. i just dont.. i mean what
Another reason you hate Philip Rivers is because he doesn’t throw to Vincent Jackson when you start Jackson in fantasy, but does when he’s on your bench.
guy’s a cock.
“Welcome back to Earth, Bills fans.”
Because we lost on the road by 3 points to one of the top teams in the NFC? I agree with the ranking, though. Just don’t think we we’re really “brought back down to earth. It was a pretty even game.
@holdsteady154 – When you guys stop recording 400 fan anthems a week for your early season victories we’ll consider you back on Earth.
I think it`s an NFL conspiracy that the Dolphins are as bad as they are. They haven`t had a QB since Marino retired, so the league wants Miami to get the next chosen one. The brass are in on it, but not the players. But the players don`t need to be in on it because their offense is offensive. Why else do you explain yesterday`s game where Cam Wake was getting tackled to the ground/having his jersey pulled on almost every play and not only was there no call, neither Jaws or Gruden called it, and they criticized the Dolphins for not putting pressure on Sanchez? They don’t want to make it obvious.
The 2nd first round pick is conditional. If the Raiders don’t win a playoffs game, it turns into a second round pick. Regardless, that is still pretty steep for a guy who is almost done with the game.
I’m deaf so can’t actually hear the Cutler recording. Is it a spoof? Or did he really tell Martz to go fuck himself?
I think Cutler is brilliant. If I had to choose a quarterback for the Eagles, out of any QB’s in the NFL, I would have to give serious thought to picking between Rodgers or Cutler.
Ontario is a Canadian province, not a Canadian city, dumbass.
Oh wait, you’re Floridian. I think that mistake qualifies you as the smartest person in your state.
Who is the doo-doo face now, Burnsy?
YOU ARE!
I like how Peter King said that if the NFL would just let coaches wear suits like in olden times, these wacky Harbaugh handshake fights wouldn’t happen. Oh, you mean like how Mike Nolan wore suits? Maybe he just wants the Niners to suck again. Anyway, I’m still adjusting my eyes every time I see the 49ers in the top end of the power rankings. CAN IT BE REAL???? EEEEEEE!
Cutler is a far more hateable fuckwit than Rivers. I never understood how that wasn’t a fact even in their limp wrist shouting matches.