Worst: Miz as a Hype Man
I’m really appreciative of combining the Miz and R-Truth and the integration of their personalities. But Miz is the worst damn Hype Man I’ve seen in ages. All coming in a beat and a half late on all the “Shut Ups!” and shit. Like, c’mon maaaaaan. If Natalya/Beth can combine their sullen looks, the two of you can stop stepping over each other’s lines. You’re the most Must See SuperStar in WWE, Miz, so get your damn audio straight.
Bonus Best: The ‘A-W-E-S-O-M-E’ Sign Guys
Seven kids spent the entire night trying to get enough air time to hold up their signs and turn them around like Vanna White. I think I was the only person happier than them when they finally got to do it in the last 10 minutes of the show. (The best part was that after 90 minutes of trying, they didn’t really know what to do when it actually worked. A couple of them just retracted their signs. The rest just kinda jostled them around in disbelief. It was actually quite sweet.)
Best: The Main Event
A funny thing happened on my way to shitting on a needlessly All-Star main event with a hackneyed premise: a great match broke out (and I apologize for WWE not putting footage of it up).
I put Raw back on while I was writing this article, on mute so as to not get distracted from writing down glib references. About the third time though, I actually had a chance to watch the main event, without the context of shrill commentators, or a live audience I probably don’t agree with, or an overly mic’d ring that makes every suplex sound like Death. And I got in that rare, weird moment an opportunity to watch the match itself; watch the facials that Miz is pulling constantly, and the incidental extra selling R-Truth does. I saw the true face of Cena’s workrate, how he’s much better on the ground than most people are willing to believe, and absolutely surgical in his technique. And I watched as CM Punk not only convinced me that he had a nagging leg and neck injury, but that not being able to get into the match was pounding in his brain and tearing out his guts. In silence, I watched all 4 men in that match be wrestlers, maybe the top of their craft.
Enjoying wrestling is like enjoying anything else. After enough time, you get to a point where you think you can discern the good from the bad. The effete and the auteurs can tell you specifically what makes one better than the other, but for the rest of us it comes down to Liking this, and Hating that. It’s no different from music or literature or film. Not every movie can be Seventh Seal, but I’ll watch me some Crank 2. And not every album is Rumours, but if you don’t like Red Light District than I think we’re probably just not gonna get along.
It was a fine main event, full of all the great things you’d applaud in a ROH or NOAH or Stampede (in the early 80’s) show, only done in the style of the current WWE product.
Oh, and then Triple H showed up.