"Smell my breath... that's success."

21. San Diego Chargers (1-1) – Philip Rivers may be pure evil.

22. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1) – More on the Eagles later today, but if you don’t think that Arthur Blank cackled with delight when Mike Vick left the game, then you’ve never been a billionaire scorned.

23. Atlanta Falcons (1-1) – Is it just be or do the Falcons look like they expected to be very good and now can’t figure out why it’s not easier?

24. Baltimore Ravens (1-1) – Ray Rice is very good. Joe Flacco, though, is merely adequate.

25. New Orleans Saints (1-1) – At what point do the Saints change the locks on Marques Colston?

26. Washington Redskins (2-0) – I expect the Skins to climb this list, but it’s still fun to see Grossman win.

27. Buffalo Bills (2-0) – I’m as shocked as the next guy.

28. Houston Texans (2-0) – They should have the AFC South locked up by Week 6.

29. Detroit Lions (2-0) – I won’t say that it will be this season, but the Lions could be better than Green Bay soon.

30. Green Bay Packers (2-0) – My standard philosophy is that the defending champs should always be No. 1 until they’re knocked off, but I’m mad at the Packers for ruining Ryan Grant. It’s purely personal.

31. New York Jets (2-0) – As soon as they play an actual good team, we’ll see just how good Mark Sanchez is.

32. New England Patriots (2-0) – They look good. I’m talking sexy good. Like, it makes me angry how good the Pats look.