"Lower... lower..."
11. Cleveland Browns (1-1) – I don’t know how this team isn’t better. Oh yeah, because it’s in Cleveland.
12. Cincinnati Bengals (1-1) – I’m not saying that Andy Dalton is leading the Bengals to the playoffs this season, but whichever coach replaces Marvin Lewis is going to have some nice depth. Also, if I’m Carson Palmer, I show up this week just to ruin everything.
13. Denver Broncos (1-1) – If any groins can stay healthy, the Broncos could be decent. Maybe if John Fox calls it leprosy, Tim Tebow can work his healing powers.
14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) – I watched yesterday’s game against the Vikings surrounded by Bucs fans and the opinion is almost universal – they hate Josh Freeman. Ah to be so spoiled.
15. Tennessee Titans (1-1) – You know how Adrian Peterson showed up to camp, worked hard, became the highest paid running back in NFL history and then performed like it? Chris Johnson is the opposite. Who had Week 2 in the “Titans fans booing Chris Johnson” pool?
16. St. Louis Rams* (0-1) – Again, I am predicting the Rams to win tonight. If not, plop them in the Top 10. But I think they’ll rebound nicely with or without Steven Jackson.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) – Poor Ben Roethlisberger. He’s going to be mutilated behind that offensive line this season.
18. Oakland Raiders (1-1) – Darren McFadden looks phenomenal. If any of the receivers can step up (and I mean consistently), Jason Campbell might even look good, too.
19. Dallas Cowboys (1-1) – Felix Jones might be out until after the bye week, which means nothing because they don’t know how to run anymore. I loved the Tony Romo dramatics yesterday, too. He’s such an elite QB. *dismissive wank, tears tendon*
20. Chicago bears (1-1) – Jay Cutler may be sacked 100 times this season. Whoever thought that letting Olin Kreutz go was a good idea should get to play QB for a few snaps.
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“Buffalo Bills (2-0) – I’m as shocked as the next guy.”
Next guy = everyone
Not to be picky, but Jacksonville didn’t play Indy. I believe that honor was bestowed upon the Texans week one. That said, they still belong on the list.
JAX beat the Titans in week one.
Roethlisberger is going to end up in a wheelchair by week 9 with that piss poor O-line.
If the Colts win the Luck sweepstakes the Dolphins will write a letter to Roger Goodell about it being ‘unfair’.
28. Exactly.
GOD DAMMIT, NINERS! YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOOD AT SUCKING!
Brady Quinn is the Broncos backup QB known to “lay healing hands” on groins. Then again, if Royal or Lloyd need a circumcision, we got that covered too.
The 49ers are kind of competitive and it’s freaking me out!
All of Rex Grossman’s throws are frozen ropes. And by “frozen ropes” I mean money shots that haven’t finished buffering.
can you feel it? the power of the bills.
The Pats are not that good. Soon as they meet a real offense that isn’t set up by Norv Turner, they will get killed.
Surrounded by Bucs fans? How is that even possible?
Holy shit are you kidding about the Pats? The Defense let Chad Henne throw for 400 yards!!?
Also, after 2 games you are ready to give Detroit the Lombardi trophy? Stafford looks nasty but that secondary is still terrible and they are not going to play KC every week.