Every now and then a pro wrestling-related clip nobody should’ve seen pops up on the Internet and decides to go viral. Today’s clip, courtesy of our friends at Buzzfeed, is quite possibly the most masculine thing ever recorded and a living interpretation of every Chuck Norris joke you’ve heard as performed by monster trucks, electric guitar and Sgt. Slaughter. To catch you up to speed:
Following his third tour of duty in Vietnam, Sgt. Slaughter retired from service to pursue his life long dream of wrestling. After gaining the world championship belt and super stardom, the Sgt then moved onto rock star, monster truck tug of war champion and GI JOE. They just don’t make them like they used to.
Highlights of the video include the finest of 1980s girls in Bud trucker hats, the tape wearing out at the part where a lady starts jacking off an exhaust pipe, Sarge’s “battle battalion” not looking too different from the Village People and a bunch of monster truck and funny car drivers calmly lip syncing parts they should be screaming. In case you were wondering, Sgt. Slaughter did all those things in the blockquote but the guy who played him didn’t — he actually started off as a flamboyant character in the mid-70s, and if you need confirmation of military time not served, listen to Jesse “The Body” Ventura (Navy UDT veteran and former Navy SEAL) talk about it.
Regardless, the fictional version of the army guy had a pretty amazing life up until the Gulf War, when he decided to side with Iraq. Man, Sgt. Slaughter was always kind of a lying jerk, wasn’t he? Those Joe PSAs are meaningless now. I’m gonna go put my fingers in the light sockets no matter what Flint tells me. Ah well, at least you can’t take “monster truck tug of war champion” away from him.
[via Buzzfeed]


*jaw drop*
Wow, so f’ing 80′s there. Love the cheerleaders in bikini bottoms and hi-top Reebok sneakers. Thanks B.
I watched this twice and Im still not sure what the hell they were saying.
I’m such a child of the 80′s. GI Joe, Transformers, He-Man… all feel like home teams. FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD, YOU’VE MADE AWFUL THINGS.
I saw Sgt. Slaughter in person once, and he has, without a doubt, the largest skull of anyone I’ve ever seen.
@The White Boom Boom – Ted DiBiase (sr.) gets the nod for me. I have a huge head, and his made mine look like a baby’s.
Since we are trading huge headed pro wrestlers stories, I met Ivan Putski once, enormous head.
I think you need a nose packed full of “big, bad, blow” to truly understand what this video is all about.
The Sgt.’s crew looked like a cross between Big Gay Al and Sloth from The Goonies. No wonder they won, they had homosexual retard strength.
I’m still trying to figure out why you need a pair of suspenders to hold up skin-tight camo short shorts.
I got to meet Million Dollar Man and Dr. Death Steve Williams at one of Harley Race’s shows once. It’s cool how Dr. Death sticks his thumb in his trach hole to talk!
Also, Ted Sr. had the Million Dollar belt with him and asked if I wanted to hold it. I told him, “No, some things need to be kept sacred.”
[www.myspace.com]
On the one in a million chance anyone is interested, here is the write up I did on my old Myspace blog for that wrestling event. Complete with pictures of me looking like a jackass.
I can confirm the size of Ted Sr’s head, I wear a 7 3/4 hat, and he looks like Dumbo next to me.