"I have no reason to hug her except for my love of having boobs pressed against me."
As is superstar standard for this NBA Lockout, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Paul donated their time to a good cause on Saturday, joining First Lady Michelle Obama and a bunch of young people from bands and TV shows I’ve never heard of at Nickelodeon’s Worldwide Day of Play. The event turned out to be the largest in its history, undoubtedly due to the muscle flexed by the NBA stars and especially Obama, who was pushing her youth fitness agenda so our kids don’t all end up competing for the World’s Fattest Woman title.
We’re pretty tough on James around these parts, what with our discontent for his robot-like demeanor and arrogant indifference toward the blue collar NBA fans, but I have to say that I’m impressed with the new person he’s trying so hard to become. I don’t know if he hired a new friend to tell him that being nice to people and not being a dick will make us stop “hating” on him, but it’s nice to see that he’s taking a step in the right direction.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to hate just a little bit. As a tubby tub of lard tub, I can definitely appreciate the cause of educating our fatty kids on physical fitness, so it’s cool that James and Wade would take part in this. However, three of the biggest stars in the NBA should be spending a little more time getting paychecks for their peers. These are the guys who need to step up and take on the owners (and agents) in between being doused with green slime. Otherwise, their teammates will be their greatest charity.
(Images via Getty and the AP.)
This looks like a Newport ad.
"F*CK YOU, CHILDREN!"
I see someone finished reading his copy of Public Relations for Dummies.
"Haha, I love you, Mike Miller!"
I'll take "Professional Athletes With 8 Girls Who Could Kick My Ass" for $100, please.
His agent either just crapped himself or had a really bad idea about how to make some extra cash.
Black guys, white girl, balls flying everywhere... nope, no joke here.
"Hey LeBron, how many championships did you think you would have with the Heat by now?"
I don't know who Victoria Justice is, but she has nice posture.
Oddly, I don't think her dad would mind.
It's funny because he makes fun of his hairline now, too.
"I'm sorry, but I'm taking my charitable efforts to the Disney Channel."
Their response to the question, "Where is Chris Bosh?"
"Can any of you play point guard?"
If the owners get their way with two amnesty clauses, this will be a reality in Miami next season.
Dwyane Wade with four Urban Outfitters employees.
Chris Paul apparently raided my college closet.
Big Show - Worst tattoo on a professional athlete or WORST TATTOO EVER?
Yes, no, no, no, no, no, YES, no, yes.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wizard-battle-stadium-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/conan-octopus-taking-selfies-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/lebron-james-game-winner-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/grizzlies-suck-at-lay-ups-180x180.png)
The Big Show’s tattoo gets better when you realize it’s bigger than a normal person’s head.
I have kids who watch Nickelodeon, therefore I know who Victoria Justice is.
Anyone else notice that all the kids are either behind a barrier or surrounded by security and photographers?
What’s the over/under on Victoria Justice having leaked pics/sex tape in 3 years? Cause whatever it is, I’ll take the under.