Complex Magazine just put up an interview with and photo gallery of Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and Official Everywhere On The Internet poster girl Kate Upton, and despite my aversion toward animals as a food source I am undecided in my feelings toward animals as busty teenage modeling props, so I'm sharing it. Also, as the editor of a sports blog I am legally obligated to freak out every time this girl puts a new picture on the Internet. Legally obligated and gleefully cooperative.
Anyway, most of the interview reads like it might if Kate was filling out a middle school worksheet about barnyard life:
Have you milked anything before?
No, I have never milked a cow before. It was really cool. I told everyone I learned how to do it.Would you do it again?
Yes.
But there's one wonderful gem right at the end, and you shouldn't miss it.
I love my body because I used to not be as curvy. I used to get made fun of for being so short and completely flat-chested. I prayed every day. All I wanted was to have big boobs and to be tall.
See? Dreams really can come true. Click through to check out the pictures from Complex's photoshoot (again, with complete credit to them ... I don't own a chicken OR a camera that nice, or a working copy of photoshop for that matter) and be sure you make it until the end, where the wonderful, wonderful video lives.
[photo and video credit to Complex]
Click for the larger version.
"We don't have a cow. We have a bull."
"I'm gonna go brush my teeth."
Not sure which fetish this is going for, or if it just wants me to buy shoes.
uh
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I can’t believe this is how she repays you for making her a star
I really want a glass of milk right now for some reason.
7 of 8 gave 6.5 of 6.5.
Nice udders.
Also, I guaran-damn-TEE you that more than one man contemplated pulling a “Top Sceret!” And dressing up as a cow for that shoot.
No I have never milked a cow. It was really cool?
wat?
LATRINE!!!!!!!
Not sure which god grants prayers for big boobs and tallness. If anything, this is a (wonderful) trick by Satan to thoroughly tempt us. I always knew I liked him more than God.
Girl really knows how to handle a cock. (low hanging rooster fruit)
God she’s a fatass.
“kate upton fat” can be the new “john cena gay.”
Maybe she should lay off the whole milk.
In related news; commercial cowstar Betzy is now a lesbian.
I’d let her choke my chicken.
I can tell by looking at her that she will be fat when she’s 50 years old. I would never be with a woman like that.
Yes Brutus, but I would be so kind as to give her years of pity fucks, since she clearly needs my help and guidance.
I like how careful Kate is being while carrying around that giant jug of my sperm.
There is definitely some nip slip at :40
and I for one couldn’t care less what she looks like at 50. Do you have some sort of magic screen that adds 30 years onto the pictures that come up? I guess that might explain the child porn on your hard drive, but probably not.
I’m happy to now know that she handles an object that is pink, long and somewhat slender. It’s pleasing.
What?
I’m white! Proper thickness was never an option.
Wow am I disappointed to read that animal rights garbage from you.
Fuckin’ hippies man, fuckin’ hippies…
@Chris534 – I think the “animal rights garbage” took up about half a sentence. I could understand this feedback if I’d blathered on about it, but come on, what you eat doesn’t make you a hippie.
Hi Mom, you have to see the last Kate Upton picture post to get that.
Awwww yeah,baby.
Marissa Miller looks better at 31 than she does at 19, morons.
I would think a moron would be someone who doesn’t know how to use “did” for past tense in a sentence.
Funny, I never masturbated to ‘Green Acres’ before
With gratitude to Spinal Tap:
Working on a sex farm/Trying to raise some hard love
Getting out my pitch fork/And poking your hay
Scratching in your henhouse/Sniffing at your feedbag
Slipping out your back door/I’m leaving my spray
Sex farm woman/I’m gonna mow you down
Sex farm woman/I’ll rake and mow you down
Sex farm woman/Don’t you see my silo risin’ high
Working on a sex farm/Hosing down your barn door
Bothering you livestock/They know what I need
Working up a hot sweat/I’m scretching in your pea patch
Plowing through your beanfield/Planting my seed
Sex farm woman/I’ll be your hired hand
Sex farm woman/I’ll let my offer stand
Sex farm woman/Don’t you feel my tractor rumbling byby-by-byyyy