The now regular pre-read numbers:
1. The last two editions of The Best and Worst of WWE Raw have clocked in at around 140 comments each, and I can’t tell you how thankful I am to you for that. I love reading your comments, even the negative ones, and the more you comment the more dynamic and engaging this whole process becomes. In fact, I’m proposing a contest: If we can get this shared around to enough jerky forums and Facebook feeds to get to 200 comments (legitimate comments, not +1 or john cena gay, or john cena gay +1) I’ll start handing out prizes. Because I like you, and you’re doing me a favor.
2. I’m officially giving up my quest to get @KaitlynWWE to notice me, so I’m moving on to @WWEKaitlyn, who I’m pretty sure is a fat guy trolling fan sites. I bet that guy would think I’m great.
3. I’m thinking about parlaying this into some kind of wrestling podcast. Is that a terrible idea? I feel like wrestling podcasts are either droll, lispy lists of dirt sheet rumors or wrestlers making inside jokes with their friends. I don’t lisp and I barely have any friends. I think it would work. Thoughts?
Anyway, enjoy the column. I got it up before four o’clock!
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john cena straight?
Commenting before I’ve even read it yet. UBER.
MY PODCAST ISN’T DROLL…
…err, I mean sure, a podcast would be a good idea.
I haven’t read it yet either and already this is the best thing about this week’s Raw.
Scott Pilgrim reference! BRANDON STROUD AND I ARE LIKE THIS YO *crosses fingers*.
I was gonna spam John Cena gay, but I realized I’m better than that. I love this column. It really is refreshingly different than most of the recycled crap on a lot of other sites. And you’re hate for everything is so well veiled in humor that I forget you hate everything. I would listen to your podcast, as long as you promise you’re not a mouth breather.
OK FINE WHATEVER JESUS I’LL READ THIS F**KING THING. And not for the prizes.
There better be some combination of 1) a 90s Nickelodeon reference or 2) a picture of Kate Upton or 3) some entertaining writing.
I don’t listen to podcasts. When I’m internetting, it’s usually with TV on in the background or music and podcasts I just don’t do, but FEEL FREE as long as you keep typing these up.
@FSJ: I see your 90s Nickelodeon reference and raise you a Scott Pilgrim + Poochy reference.
And I’m all for the podcast, I’m tired of listening to Mike and Mike cream all over the Jets on my runs.
If the podcast is as good as fun as this, I say do it. Just don’t go on a thirty minute rant about how they need to bring back Umaga for a nostalgia run.
That said, the ending of Raw sort of really made me think I won’t be watching wrestling seriously after two weeks. I want to be wrong though, it’s just that after week after week of doing what I expected followed by awesomeness, they did what I expected followed by lame belt showdown.
I remember watching that Summer Slam back in 1988, right before I started my senior year in high school. UW was bad ass. Thanks for posting it, B.
/I’m a man! I’m almost 40.
If you have a podcast, I demand Diane Rehm-style call ins.
“This is John, from Arlington, TX, hello John, you’re on the air.”
“JOHN CENA GAY KELLY KELLY HAWT CM PUNK FO LYFE”
“*the sound of voicebox cancer growing*”
I like you and wrestling and I wouldn’t listen to a wrestling podcast.
Just start a niche podcast around triple-A baseball and indy wrestling and call it Minor Threats.
@Mob: Or a niche podcast about Kelly Kelly and the rotating cast of interns on Bones and call it “Squints.”
Definitely do the podcast, I love reading these. I’m still waiting for the Best/Worst of old shows. Do that.
IMHO, *this* is the first night Punk should have shown up at an official WWE event. And avoided the lame drawn-out ‘dueling titles’ close.
Also, I could totally see Truth & Miz teaming up to get one or the other into the WWE belt with the understanding that the accomplice was guaranteed a title shot right after. Miz gets the belt, denies Truth and fuels his conspiracy fires OR Truth gets the belt and Miz takes it, fueling his conspiracy fires. Either way, I think it’d give both of them a chance to shine.
It’s hard to believe there are people who DON’T find the ‘invincible, too-cool’ HHH to be tiresome and uninteresting by this point.
So what are the odds that there is a Rock run-in at SummerSlam during the Cdma-Punk match?
Brandon,
Your column has become one of my favorite reads of the week and a ton of us over in the wrestling thread on twoplustwo.com are big fans of it.
Come on by if you ever want to check out our thread or even post in it: [forumserver.twoplustwo.com]
Michael Cole: Do you actually agree with me, J.R.?
J.R.: Yes?
Michael Cole: …..NERD!
I prematurely made a comment without even reading +7 for the Scott Pilgrim reference.
If Disney really had the balls to name a movie ‘Chinaman Babysitter’ I would watch the shit out of it.
So, what I’m sensing is that CM Punk, the Wrestling Jesus, miraculously resurrected the horse that had been beaten to death, and then Triple H devoured its newly-living balls in front of everyone.
Also, “Chinaman Babysitter” is amazing.
Love the column, a podcast would be awesome man. It’s nice to not have a thousand pop-ups attack my PC when I log on here and actually get to read some well thought out and humorous shit. Podcast… column… I’ll be checking you out no matter what.
This was enjoyable. have to admit it.
(Also: true, a Scott Pilgrim reference in lieu of a 90s Nickelodeon reference works any day of the week.)
I hope to have a draft of “Chinaman Babysitter” in the mail to Disney by the end of the week.
This Triple H authority thing is gonna get old real quick if he keeps acting like Kevin Nash all the time. And that “I’m shaking” gesture is what every douche who doesn’t have a comeback or want to fight does. I wanted to say something funny about that, but it really pissed me off. Got a feeling we’ll be seeing h as this character for as long as he can walk to a ring and grab a mic.
Great read as usual. Not to get into “omg they rushed it” mode, but how much do you think having Summerslam looming as the next PPV made them book the rematch right away? I think if in two weeks they were having, say, In Your House: July Stampede, they could have turned Mysterio-Cena into a PPV main event, then had the Punk surprise return at the end of that to set up the Summerslam rematch. But if they did that now, then you’d have the big match at whatever PPV is in September these days and have to use a transitional main event (albeit a good and original one) on the year’s second-biggest show (and the biggest party of the summer!). Just a thought.
The Best was definitely Kelly Kelly’s ass crack hanging out!! COme on man!
Was I among the minority that thought the opening segment went on for far too long AND was deflated by the prospect of the obvious unification match at SS?
Punk’s intrigue is losing steam faster than the Indians throwing things at the wall to try and compete with the awesome mediocrity that is the Tigers. Punk may be Asdrubal Cabrera-ing it at this point, but dammit if Triple H’s uninspired character is Josh Tomlin. Spoiler alert: no one cares if you only throw 10 BB a season…all those lame fastballs you leave over the plate are getting crushed. Every time someone cracks a joke about H’s power, a Josh Tomlin pitch is roped into deep right center.
Great breakdown, Stroud, although with all the Nexus armbands mysteriously disappearing, what will happen of Mason Ryan and his unnatural gait?
@Panther Joe – get the hell out of my comments section with your anti-Tribe rhetoric
AJ is better than Kaitlyn anyhow don’t feel bad :P
These articles, as well as the CM Punk stuff, have caused me to take interest in wrestling for the 1st time in several years. I’ve noticed two things after a couple weeks of paying attention:
1) Michael Cole pretty much single-handedly ruined last week’s Smackdown for me. When I left, he was a pretty decent play-by-play guy.
2) All the women who can wrestle are either gone or not on TV. Doesn’t having Beth Phoenix and Gail Kim on the roster negate every Bella/Eve/Maryse women’s title?
I would love a wrestling podcast that’s about something other than MMA and buyrates.
Love reading this stuff every week. Your references to Jenna Morasca of Survivor fame nad Bridget Marquardt from Girls Next Door were both strange and hilarious. Thought the ending was kinda dumb, but it did add more to the whole thing. I really hope HHH doesn’t screw Punk out of the title. I’m so sick of Cena. Also, he repeated himself during the segmant with Johnny Ace. mentioned the punch in the face twice in the span of like a minute. boring.
The only way I’ll listen to a podcast of this, is if you do a Randy Savage impression the whole time.
If Capt. Jorts wins, we riot
Woo woo woooo!
You do indeed speak for me in not caring what Bobby Lashley is doing. I agree with Dramz. Can we get a mystery person to bash HHH in the face with a sledgehammer one good time, and then have everyone laugh at him while he has no one to finger wiggle at? That’s one Unsolved Wrasslin Mystery that I’d like to never see resolved. Can we also unsolve who ran down Austin? Or make it blonde CM Punk after an FBI coverup and DNA match to the rental to set up that Austin/Punk grudge match? Totally plausible in the WWE UNIVERSE.
How do you see this playing out? I was originally thinking that Cena goes over at Summerslam (thus killing this entire angle) and goes on to feud with Del Rio for the belt, but I have to imagine that Del Rio’s next title match will be with him as the champ after he cashes in the MITB. That said….Punk has to stay high profile, and the only things that make sense are 1) win and unify the belts, go on as the Austin-type champ, 2) get screwed over by HHH to lose, set up a Austin/Vince type storyline between those two and let Cena move on to someone else (Del Rio? Miz again?), or 3) get screwed over by someone like Jericho (note their shit talking on Twitter) and set up a long term program there with a match at Survivor Series or Mania.
Also, Miz and Truth need to be tag champs. Call themselves Awesome Conspiracy or something like that. The probable Rey/Miz and Truth/Morrison matches just aren’t that interesting.
One last fantasy booking if I was running the show. Have Punk win at Summerslam, teasing a Cena heel turn and have him play it that way for the next month. Rematch at Night of the Champions, Cena wins but turns full heel that night. Come out the next night in Cleveland in heel mode, have The Miz beat his ass in front of the home crowd and guarantee the reaction you want, vault Miz to top babyface and play that out until Survivor Series.
Also, yes, a podcast would work, but you would definitely need some sort of co-host to bounce things off of, even if it’s just a 10-year-old kid down the street who frequently rebuts with “CMPUNKgay” or however kids feel about wrestling. Stop blindly cheering Rey Mysterio, Jr. Don’t his prison tattoos frighten you chill’uns?
First time commenting, been reading the recaps for awhile. Keep up the good work.
I don’t want to hate on that final segment too much because I think this Cena-Punk thing is above the whole “brawl into the credits” thing or “one lays out the other into the credits” thing, but I’ll admit that it lacked and these two deserved better. I want to think that they will correct this next week, but as I type this I suddenly realize that next week’s main event is going to be Mr. H’s forcing Cena and Punk to team up against Truth and Miz and that the brief, glorious window of outside the box creativity we’ve been enjoying will close.
While I’m here I don’t think the Josh Matthews/HHH thing deserved the worst it got because it seemed like a rare moment of WWE foreshadowing. Triple H wants to be taken serious in his new role, he doesn’t want to be called Hunter like he’s your pal because he’s your boss not your pal and he doesn’t want Josh Matthews thinking he can get away with not shaving because Vince is gone. He’s not like a sad restaurant manager, he is that restaurant manager. Sure, he’s Mr. Cool now and wants to be the fan-friendly boss who does what’s best for business, but we know that can’t last and eventually he will snap and be all “my way or the highway/do your sidework/you don’t have to like me but you have to respect me” and it will make sense because of moments like this. Whether he has the humility to allow that role to work is another conversation, but it’s the way the story has to go.
All I wanna say is that I come here every week for this write up. I love WWE wrestling and I love what you do. And yes a podcast would be awesome. Id listen to it. nice work man. see you next week.
I watch a couple of wrestling “shows” on YouTube and have caught a few episodes of Colt Cabana’s podcast(which is pretty good). Talk Wrestling with Jeff Meacham (I can’t stand his mannerisms) and Pro Wrestling Report with Dameon Nelson and David Herro (they talk about their pro-wrestling fantasy teams too much and David making ridiculous speculations on upcoming events). But, your writing leads me to believe that you are smarter and much more humorous and entertaining than these other people. So, I would download/subscribe to your podcast in a second. Also, thanks for piling on my Astros after we just lost Pence, lol.
TL;DR: Yes, make a podcast.
Soooo I’m holding my title belt above my head, why isn’t my music playing? What am I doing wrong here?
Great job as always. Pretty lame show overall.
The best part about the Larry Middleman thing is that it makes HHH Tobias.
I feel like wrestling is in this holding pattern that it will be in for years to come, that is we deal with things being terrible and trite for a long time because every once in a while a hot angle will start up and get us excited. They inevitably fall short of expectations but there’s still enough good things to keep us watching. Plus there’s still enjoyment in the periphery as well. I’m thinking of the original Nexus invasion and now the CM Punk saga.
That is to say this: WWE doesn’t care about catering to us. They want to bring in new fans always so they will always choose a payoff instead of a slow burn. It’s a different business strategy but it’s the one they stick to time after time.
All that being said AJ is indeed better than Kaitlyn.
Shouldn’t we have at leat gotten an explanation/write-off for the anonymous GM? Even one line of dialogue would have sufficed.
I think a podcast would be really great, personally, but I do think that having guests or a co-host from time to time would be the best way to go with it if at all possible.
Also I am not going to comment as much as usual out of protest that I don’t actually get to see Matthew Patel as a Superstars regular.
(…no i will soon)
I’d definitely subscribe to a With Spandex podcast. The only two wrestling podcasts I listen to are Art of Wresting and I Want Wresting. Both are good, but with only occasional exceptions from IWW, neither deals with week-to-week happenings.
Can I get a supplementary Best for JR’s “All the while, there’s a Battle Royal going on” during Cole and K2′s cringe-worthy exchange? I missed that man.
Finally, Anonymous Raw GM gay.
Yes podcast. Yes already! And Best & Worst of old shows too.
“C O N spiracy” was my favorite best that didnt get mentioned here
Is there a way we can send Michael Cole a compilation video of Bobby Heenan commentating with Gorilla Monsoon. If Cole could be an eighth of what Heenan was, he would be infinitely more tolerable.
I can’t look at HHH anymore without thinking of Poochie and/or Mondo Gecko. I’m fairly certain that this is a result of reading this on a weekly basis. I’m equally certain that I never would have made the connection otherwise.
Not sure how I feel about “C O N Spiracy”. On the one hand, I love a good In Living Color reference. On the other, it means that R-Truth isn’t really crazy, he’s referencing old TV shows.
Podcasts, Smackdown B and W’s, T-shirts, Condoms. Do it all!
Am I the only one who likes the Tag Team Champs with no team name? I think they are neat.
Saying that, I love the idea of them being stripped of the titles and jut being really bummed out about the situation. No mic, no shouting, no “hold me back”. Just “…..oh man.”
Forget the Podcast dude, best and worst of smackdown anywhere. Even in tweet format would be good. I need to know if Ezekiel Jackson has done a bodyslam this week.
Excellent writeup as always Brandon, I actually read the rest of With Leather now only because I started here with these columns.
Please do the podcast!
I would listen, since i love this columns.
The Anonymous GM is actually “Old Man Laurinaitis” from the haunted Amusement Park. He would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling smarks!
Michael Cole has turned into the obnoxious “special needs” kid that runs around eating paste and soiling his pants to get attention while two grown men try to have a normal conversation. Cole needs to go away for a few weeks, then come back as if the last 8 months never happened.
Punk and Cena might as well have done “Rabbit Season! Duck Season! Rabbit Season!”
Just my two cents… oh, and “John Cena gay.. fuck the RedSox! COCK!!!”
My absolute favorite Wrestling column of the week. Keep this thing going! And if you do a podcast, please don’t let it replace this column. I hate podcasts of any kind.
I’ve been reading WL for several years and almost never comment… but I just wanted to share some excellent advice about podcasts that I received from someone who works on actual radio… Get some background music, instrumental stuff, to play behind you while talking. It’ll make pauses in your talking WAY less awkward, and it’ll make the podcast sound much more professional. Just a thought, take it or leave it… but either way keep up the great work on WL, you’ve done a fine job taking over for Uff.
Hecks yeah – Podcast this motha!
You know that Beyond The Mat reference was one of the scenes that stuck with me back john cena gay in the day, Mc Mahon meeting Droz in his office, doing his annoying “HE’S GONNA PUUUKE” voiceover, and having Droz pathetically gag up spit in a wastebasket. That’s when I decided Mc Mahon was a real f’n doosh in real f’n life.
Poor Droz never stood a chance…
Never fails to let me down, great read like always. But oh man, completely died at the Larry Middleman on Arrested Development idea. Incredible.
I didn’t even watch Raw yesterday. I just… I don’t know. I’ve been so excited about Punk, and then last week happened and I wasn’t a doom sayer about it. I was all “Oh well, wasn’t perfect but I knew it wouldn’t be I’m still into it” but this week happened and I don’t feel like I missed anything. I feel almost turned off. And I, yes, think I blame HHH.
looool, and i meant “never fails to be good” or something. not never fails to let me down. that implies it lets me down. (it never does).
jeezus. oh, and +1.
Jenna Morasca-quality Champagne Bashes may just be the most awesomely brutal put down I’ve heard in years. Well done sir.
Also, I’m on to you Brandon. Your goal is to see how many weeks in a row you can get people to type john cena gay. It’s an interesting and worthwhile social experiment.
Great as usual. Two things: 1. Please give Miz and Truth the tag belts. We may take the belts seriously again. 2. Anyone else notice that all of the Summer Slam great moment recaps are about the Intercontinental Title? Any chance we get that excited about that belt again?
Just when I thought WWE was gonna really do something great, they pull this crap. FML
No podcast for me thanks.
What bugged me most about this episode is that Punk has been smarter than everyone in the room for weeks now, and suddenly hes sprinting down yelling that if “he aint gonna strip Cena, hes gonna strip me!” when he shouldve been running down going, just announce the match so I can beat his ass again, and then maybe I can beat yours to HHH.
Also, Cenas one claim to his title is that CM Punk only beat him once. This match should either be two out of three falls to shut off taht stupid bit of logic or add Mysterio with a third belt cuz he won a tournamant, all Cena did was beat him once.
This was rambling, Im tired. John Cena Gay.
Because he’s bi a lot of things, but not bilingual.
I want to say that line’s from King of the Ring ’98. And if it is, I want to punch myself in the nuts for knowing that.
unless the next two weeks feature vignettes of Kelly Kelly traveling to Japan to learn forearms and GAEA Girl dropkicks this will be the end of K2′s storied championship run.
Why go to Japan to learn forearms when John Morrison is right there?
Also, Michael Cole is officially the worst thing ever. At one point last night he actually made fun of JR for calling the match instead of talking about whatever the fuck he was talking about. Hey WWE, you want to fix a plot hole? Explain why Cole hasn’t been fed feet first into a wood chipper.
Oh and I’d listen to a podcast. I have a lot of time to kill at work.
Hi Colt Cabana!
I’m glad they finally realized they still had Beth Phoenix on the roster and that, logically, her character should have just started pummeling divas half her size once Kharma went away.
If they build up a monster Glamazon over the next year (with prolonged feuds with Natalya and Gail), they could potentially have a strong Mania match between a heel Phoenix and a face Kharma.
I don’t see why you’re so negative about the Punk angle. The final minute of the show was a little silly, (I actually like your microchip joke) but saying that you’re “Over Punk” and excited for Mark Henry/Sheamus??? Why should anyone give a shit about Sheamus
Oh, and just saying over and over “What does this accomplish?” isn’t really a criticism. It’s Wrestling, not every segment needs to be dripping with subtext.
@Jo3yHuds – I’m not really negative about it, I’ve been extremely positive about it for weeks and even enjoyed the opening segment, like I wrote. I thought the ending segment was dumb and that his momentum is dying. The “over Punk” statement was facetious, but don’t go knocking Sheamus, he’s my fella.
As for “what does this accomplish”, it wasn’t criticism, I was asking what those things accomplished. Being constructive isn’t trying to make things drip with subtext. “This wrestler is good and you should pay to see him wrestle” should be objective one in pro wrestling, and having an announcer AND a legendary authority figure routinely make the wrestlers sound like shit does the opposite of that.
Fantastic piece as always, I’d at least give a podcast a go.
In regards to Kofi and Evan Bourne, as soon as A-Ri came out to face Ziggler, pretty much everyone could call that it would be Bourne or Kofi fighting Del Rio later on. With the one that wasn’t in the match being the one to make the inevitable save after the match.
Damn, I wish I’d thought of “John Laryngitis” last night. First thing that came out of my mouth was, “Who the hell is that?!”
Well done, good review! +1, pip pip.
I hold out some slight hope that Beth Phoenix will take the Divas title and begin a reign of terror over the hair-extensioned Barbies and Bratz that seem to comprise 90% of the women in WWE. But I’m equally, dismally confident that Kelly Kelly will keep the title, smiling like a blonde lighthouse and pointing at me (she’s pointing at me when she does that, my neighbour’s dog said so).
I’m curious if they’re going to keep using Lauranitis as “the real corporate bad guy”, or if they will give that a rest. My perception is that he is well-hated by the “smarks” that follow WWE, and is completely unknown to the great majority of the audience, and therefore boring. I was pretty bored while he was out there, apart from Cena’s impression of him. For that matter, Punk’s Triple H impression early on was accurate and hilarious.
Why is Evan Bourne undeserving of a push? Why is he the World’s Highest Flying Jobber? I don’t get that.
I’m also betting that Punk wins the WWE Championship at SummerSlam, then gets got by del Rio.
No one’s ever heard of skinny fat? My friend Jen is like that. She is rail thin, probably 110 at most, but has no muscle or real definition at all. CM Punk is probably the closest thing to skinny fat WWE has. I felt it was apt.
Good job, B.
/jcg
@Brandon – “Also, this analogy ends with a yeti Pedigree’ing the f**k out of some dragons, and the Katayanagis going back to wrestling Matthew Patel on Superstars.”
Your analysis is great and quotes like that have me talking. Keep up the great work.
The best part about Phoenix Andre-ing both Bellas was that they both just sat on her shoulders being horrified for a few seconds before the one on the left realized that she should at least attempt to throw some weak-ass punches. I don’t think they realized that YOU ARE PERCHED UPON SOMEONE’S SHOULDER, GRAVITY IS ON YOUR SIDE, JUST FALL BACKWARDS.
I’m not a big fan of podcasts beside The Partially Examined Life because I multitask something fierce and don’t like to have to concentrate on what I’m listening to, but I’d listen to yours religiously.
Loved the write-up. I love the concept of pointing the Best and Worst of the Show. I look forward to next week’s edition.
Another terrific read, Brandon! I would certainly listen to your podcast. I’m lonely.
Great job… these are 8 pages worth reading every week.
Brandon, what do you think about the crowd’s reaction last night to Punk/HHH/Cena? I feel like WWE is screwing Punk by having him go up against two huge faces. How is he supposed to fully get over like that? He can’t do it all himself. And like you said, what is the point of HHH standing strong? It’s not progressing anyone, especially not Punk.
Alright, my apologies if this has been stated last week, but I haven’t seen this mentioned this week.
Does Triple H continuing to claim that he rehired John Morrison drive anybody nuts? We saw him injured once, and then he came back, and he was injured again. So it’s easy to assume that if he did get injured twice, WWE would drop him, because they are a soul-sucking corporation, but they gave us a nice little vignette to remind us he was alive and returning literally 3 weeks ago. And then Triple H keeps telling us that he re-signed him, just like he did with CM Punk–who blatantly quit on television, and Jim Ross–who in actuality seems to show up fairly often as if he is definitely employed in some way by the company.
Is this all to make Triple H seem like the man or is it specifically done to make me crazy?
@Harraby – The first time he mentioned re-signing John Morrison I was fine with it, because I thought maybe it was like when a guy’s playing for a baseball team and they resign him in the middle of the season so he doesn’t become a free agent. But then this week he’s all like LIKE I BROUGHT BACK JIM ROSS LIKE I BROUGHT BACK JOHN MORRISON and ruined it.
i just really like these
Great recap, as per usual. It’s good to see that you didn’t ignore CM Punk’s storyline stuttering a bit just out of blind love for the previous chapter of it. I’m not exactly sure what they’re thinking with these cheer-offs they’ve had at the end of the last two shows. I feel like they so desperately want the crowd to be as into it as they were during the MITB match, but they are ignoring the fact that they had built that feud up to culminate perfectly there. I still enjoy hearing Mr. Punk on the mic, in any situation. He could be on the toilet describing the nuances of the shit he is currently taking and I’d still be glued to the TV. But, I think the “I’m edgy, here let me prove it to you” gimmick is going to wear thin. And, unfortunately, it seems like there is no basis for it at present. Before his infamous promo on Raw, Punk was criminally underused, despite his obvious superiority to every other wrestler on Raw. So, it made sense that he would shake things up to get noticed, and hopefully to force change in the hierarchy. Now that he is champ, I’m not sure how it helps for him to insult Triple H (have to say hearing Punk call Triple H “H-H-H” was a highlight of the night for me) while he has the title and got the match he wanted–a match to prove his superiority over the benchmark for excellence (according to the fans) of the WWE. Anyhow, hopefully this storyline will unfog itself in the coming weeks.
tl;dr – john cena gay
yeah, they’re superfantastic and i’m glad this is building steam
Thanks to reading these for the last few weeks, I was able to attend my first Raw show (also the first I’d even watched) in nearly ten years and have a pretty good idea of what was going on with very little explanation from my friends.
I usually have nothing to say because I don’t watch wrestling. The column is appreciated though. Now that I have friends that watch wrestling living in town again, maybe I’ll be able to comment more.
I must say add that live, the CM Punk/Cena belt holding went on for several minutes well after Raw went off the air according to my watch. It was preposterous how long they milked it before going into an unaired match that ended with Miz and R-Truth running into the ring to interfere.
The cobra should become more like the Mandible claw.
This comment is going to have no actual value and will just be me fangirling and flailing over your words. I should be ashamed but I’m not. Like I said on twitter I want to make sweet sweet love to the words you write.
Even when you’re insulting a person I like you’re not a douche about it. You have your reasons for disliking people and you articulate that. It takes me forever to read these because I’m constantly stopping to spam peoples chat boxes and forcing them to read along with me.
I’ve even started the process of watching RAW and going “I wonder what Brandon will have thought about that.” You are now part of my Raw Viewing experience and it has everything to do with your writing and the respect you show even when disagreeing with something you’ve seen.
You made your comment about never watching SyFy for wrestling let alone another show but is there like an exact reason you don’t watch SD and write a recap for it? Obviously the site doesn’t update over the weekend but I don’t think any of us would wait till Monday to read one. Do you just dislike SD or is it just to much work and not enough time kind of thing?
Because I would absolutely love to see your take on some of the stuff going on over there.
Keep up the great writing Brandon.
Also, yes yes and yes to the podcast idea.
I like to think HHH was just going to strip CM Punk of his title to punish him for his comments towards the company, but then he got pissed that Cena brought up beating him at wrestlemania 22. You know since HHH has never lost anything ever.
These have been fantastic, and I’m now looking forward to reading your Best & Worsts as much as I am to seeing the show.
Thank you for basically everything you said about Triple H, because it was great to see that someone else was thinking the exact same thing I was. “It’s all about The Game”.. Has anyone’s theme song ever been more accurate in how they imagine their importance to the WWE? He comes out and fires Vince by telling him no one is bigger than the WWE, he says he took the job for the WWE Universe, and then immediately proceeds to do nothing but try to get himself over at everyone else’s expense. The more things change…
Hi, Brandon! My friend turned me onto this column, and I just wanted to say that I really enjoy it. You bring humor and seriousness together to provide a great article each week. Keep up the good work!
This is officially my favorite thing about Tuesdays now. Well done, sir!
Also, I never would have dreamed this would happen, but when Mark Henry was demanding an opponent Friday and Sheamus’ music hit, an uncontrollable smile rushed across my face.
If you’d told me any time before right then that I’d suddenly be a mark for Sheamus I wouldn’t have believed you, but that was amazing and he is suddenly one of my dudes.
“I’m thinking about parlaying this into some kind of wrestling podcast. Is that a terrible idea?”
I hate being such a cheerleader, but…I’m all for it! I’ve tried listening to a few before, and they’ve always been marred by both the podcaster’s general disinterest in wrestling (i.e. the same reason most wrestling writing is boring), and the podcaster’s obsession with promoting how great his show is, to the exclusion of making a great show. I have a feeling you wouldn’t do that.
Thing I hate most about Cena.. the way he says the word “championship”. I love CM Punk for being a skinny fat ass.. represent real humans.
First comment after reading these for about 6 weeks. Only good thing about Monday is gearing up for RAW… even though I’m really waiting for the “Best and Worst” to show up Tuesday at some point.
Also: “Additional plot hole referencing: It was the Big Bossman who raised the briefcase in that McMahons/Steve Austin ladder match. Don’t make me explain it to you again.”
THAT WAS NEVER EXPLAINED ON TV! Internet people just MADE IT UP.
@Paul – It ABSOLUTELY WAS EXPLAINED. It was the one time people didn’t get talked down to. They made the stipulation that no member of the Corporation could interfere in the match. On the show before, they kick Bossman out. The briefcase gets raised. Then on the first show after, he comes out to his face music like he’s going to fight them, and then just hugs them and rejoins the Corporation without incident. That’s not made up, that happened on television, Bossman raised the briefcase, it happened.
tastes like grandma.
FFS, start a podcast already. I’d listen.
Love it, like usual. If it was a podcast, I wouldn’t bother with it. Too Kevin Smith-y. Don’t change.
Brandon, Please do not do a podcast. Love the column as is, I just don’t listen to podcasts. I agree with you that the one on one match was kind of a disappointment. It was just the obvious choice, and If they wanted to do a rematch, at least add some kind of gimmick, last man standing, no holds barred, even just falls count anywhere.
I remember being really annoyed that GTV ruined Steve Blackman’s one chance at main eventing a PPV.
Great article broski! I found it last week and have read a bunch of your older columns. It’s a lot of fun and I hope you get to 200!
A few things:
1. The guy shouting “Super Dragon” through the opening promo made me laugh hard.
2. “Hey, I know you guys out there on the internet were moaning about WWE being a PG programme now but that’s all gonna change… Right after the break, brought to your by Twix and Skittles”
3. The closer was extremely embarrassing and a near carbon copy of the week before without the, y’know, “people caring about it” part.
4. Do a podcast, man.
“I still don’t think things are ruined and don’t think anyone was “rushed” into doing anything, but what spent two months being a cutting edge, must-see angle has turned into what Bobby Lashley might do.”
This is what I’m talking about. They build an angle, just like Nexus, and then they crush it looking for a quick fix. People bought MITB because they wanted to see what was going to happen, because there was an element of “is this real” going on.
Now you have Punk fight Cena (again) at Summerslam and why do I care? Someone will win and that will be it. It’s just like any other match. Where’s the drama? What difference does it make if Punk wins? Now it’s just another storyline.
I’m not trying to hate on WWF and say everything they do is bad, because everything they do is not bad. But since the Invasion they have botched angle after angle after angle killing any chance of momentum or interest after a couple of weeks.
People are interested when they don’t know what’s gonna happen. At the end of MITB, there was a million ways it could’ve ended. At the end of Summerslam, there’s one: someone will win and then life will go on.
For eff’s sake, if you wanna bring Punk back on TV because he’s great and people love him and he’s the top guy harf harf fine, but how is having him fight Cena a month later going to be compelling at all past the PPV, if it’s even compelling until then?
Please, please, please do a podcast as long as it would not replace Best/Worst in any way.
Great article as per usual.
From the Scott Pilgrim analogy and your bit on A-List and Beulah, I was thoroughly entertained, as always. As far as the podcast goes, I’m not a fan of them in general (and have never actually listened to a wrestling one), but I’d be willing to check one out if it’s something you’re itching to do.
I always prefer reading to podcasts, but it may just be me.
B, if you don’t regularly talk to your girlfriend in an Alberto del Rio voice, flapping your hands while saying “Destiny” over and over again, well then you’ve got far more restraint than I could ever hope for.
Podcast this! I need a wrestling podcast that has a love of the game.
Michael Cole is like at an 11, we need him around a 7; there’s the heel announcer and then there’s just irritating. Yes, we know you’re a bad guy and you think the bad guys are great, just don’t treat us like we’re stupid.
One of my fave parts of watching Raw is pointing out things I know you will cover in B/W. As SOON as HHH said “skinny fat ass”, my first thought was “Yep, that’s gotta make it in B/W”. And MY skinny fat ass would totally listen to your podcast.
That Zack Ryder match was a perfect example of H booking.
“Wow, that guy was really over! Let’s have him lose next week.”
Maybe Brandon or the rest of you guys can help me out. Without going through my entire history with professional wrestling, after I graduated college three years ago and found myself some free time, I decided I wanted to get back into following wrestling and reading news. At some point, I became a RSS junkie, so I’ve been reading this site that I absolutely detest for a while because it was the first site I found with a RSS feed that seemed relatively comprehensive (WrestlingInc.com if anyone is interested; no disrespect intended to any fans or writers of the site).
I’m assuming that the goal of the site is to get as many clicks as possible, because they repeat articles and use sensational headlines (one of their favorite things to do is ask if a person is injured in the headline and then tell the reader that nah, he’s fine). The site does a pretty comprehensive job, but I’m trying to shave some time off the amount I read about wrestling, so I am looking for something new.
I’m looking for a site that gives relatively straight forward news in a bearable fashion. (I get eight pages of opinion every Tuesday, so I am not really looking for columns or anything of the sort.) An RSS feed is probably necessary. I’ve been updated my reader to be a little less cluttered (and it’s mostly because I now have to read all these WithLeather posts that I kind of abandoned a year ago or so), so if anyone can point me to the right site let me know. To recap, I’m just looking for something with straight forward news written by non-morons that covers the most important details that I should be keeping up with as a recently rejuvenated wrestling fan.
Thanks for any help.
I thought the opening segment should have been swapped with the closing segment. If they were switched, then: a) They could talk up the main event at Summerslam b) Could ask what CM Punk is thinking as opposed to what Triple H is going to obviously decide upon c) Could have made each segment shorter. Seriously, they didn’t need to show Punk and Cena posing 100000 times while switching theme songs.
I’d like to see Miz and Truth form a tag team. Then follow that up by adding 3 or 4 more tag teams and get a division going. Otunga and Henning Jr. have some potential. They just need some mic time, matching attire and a tag team name.
Nice to see Beth Phoenix emerge from the ashes to get a push. Hopefully she’ll take the belt from K2. I’m going to miss the Bella twins.
Good job as always, and mark me as a huge no to the podcast.
“Alberto Del Rio vs. Giant Tiger match on Raw”
I am officially in love with you.
Didn’t the Atlanta Braves acquire Evan Bourne before the trade deadline? @officialcalem
Also, what did that sign Punk scoffed at say? “CM Punk Havent U Cena Muff?” Cause he’s straight edge?
Going to lobby every week for a best and worst of Smackdown.
:|
I love these articles, keep up the good work. I’d also love to hear a podcast and possibly do a best/worst of past Saturday Night’s Main Events. I work in radio, so if you need help with podcasting, let me know, I can do some production stuff.
@RH and everyone looking for something non-pedantic to hang your hat on re: wrestling
I write a blog and record a podcast that has very little to do with MMA and maybe has had one buyrate-related post in the last two months (and that was only to make a point). I hate shilling my shit in the comments section of someone else’s blog, but it’s hard reading a bunch of people’s pleas for something that’s less stupid than say, Bryan Alvarez moaning because they aren’t treating a staged form of entertainment more like legitimate sport. Besides, Brandon said it was okay.
The Wrestling Blog – You can find links to The Wrestling Podcast there too, although it is also on iTunes. Episode 7 is my chat with Brandon. It’s one of my favorite ones, actually.
/feels dirty
//goes into corner and self-loathes
///john cena gay
Love the column; I look forward to it after every Raw, because it brings a humor and relevancy that sometimes the show lacks! For the last month, it’s been my go-to, as you smoke all the red-background dirtsheet websites (why are they always red-background-ed?) when it comes to commentary.
The Punk really lit a spark in that it showed us that Wrestling could be exciting again (in the same way that Henry vs. Sheamus is doing it), when it’s not a mess of HOW IS THIS HELPING?! Now, as it sinks back to the status quo, there’s a lot of “damn, we were so close…” going on in the marks (myself included).
I personally avoid podcasts, so please don’t drop the column if you get one!
Another great post. Podcast would be dope. Del Rio is quickly becoming a new favorite.
TH, I don’t mind shilling for you. I read your site pretty regularly and I’d recommend it to anybody who enjoys Brandon’s sensibilities about wrestling.
And Bryan Alvarez is the Michael Cole of wrestling podcasters.
@85
From one Philly sports fan to another, it’s greatly appreciated!
Fantastic post, Brandon. Week in and out, you rank at the top of the list. Did a spit-take when Truth referred to HHH as “Mistah Ayches”
1. Thanks for including the Ultimate Warrior highlight.
2. Now if only Raw would include Axl Rose highlights as well.
3. What’s a podcast?
/ ’88 was a good year
i look forward to these more than raw now.
and i’m not going to stop calling things feds
John Cena gay!
The CM Punk angle appears to be imploding. We’ll see what develops over the next few weeks I guess. Not to be “that guy,” but I kind of figured it was going downhill the moment HHH involved himself. When he’s on screen, the whole show is about getting him over, at the expense of everything else :/.
On a more positive note, Sheamus as a face owns, and yeah, I totally marked for “I’m comin’ for ya, fella!”
so you like Del Rio aaaaaaand…. nobody else?
@king raccoon – how could you have possibly deduced that
i tend to skim
brilliant article as always dude
I haven’t read this yet because I like to watch Raw and then read your article and I haven’t watched Raw yet, but Brandon, I want to say (as sincerely as one can be on the internet) that it’s great to know that there are people in the world who love wrestling as much as I do, and care and think as deeply about it as an art form as I do. I just re-read your Jumbo Tsuruta article for the first time since I originally read it on PBoi and it really got to me.
Thanks for writing about something that everyone I know mocks like it’s important. It’s always a bright point in my day.
That being said, I am willing to write a Best and Worst of Impact for you every week, if you’d wanna put it up. I guess that’s pretty dependent on whether or not I can be funny and insightful, but I’m willing to at least try.
i think we’ll see colt cabana cost punk the title at summerslam. on raw the next night, we’ll learn that he is grateful to HHH for the opportunity to be in WWE, and he thinks that Punk should be too. He’ll try to convince punk that there is no place like WWE, and that he should be proud of any shot he’s given. they know each other well, will have great chemistry in and out of the ring, and punk will eventually dispatch colt at a ppv in the fall, which will lead to the punk/hhh match at survivor series.
thoughts?
Seriously? I love this column.
Hey, screw you! We were a great crowd! Ok, not really. There was one smark section, but everyone else in the arena was the typical “eh I watch wrestling from time to time with my kids, so lets go” kind of person. There were two main sections of smarks, and they were the one’s who tried for the CM Punk chants. What was interesting is that, while the smarks were all about Ryder too, it was the entire arena chanting for him, not just the smarks. Maybe that guy really is doing something right.
I do hope this gets to 200 comments because I love these best/worsts so much.
I would love to see best/worsts of old PPVs, or smackdown, or whatever. There isn’t some old website with previous best/worsts floating around by any chance, is there?
Loving the column, has become a new weekly must read for me.
The HHH being the boss angle is paralleling dangerously close to the old McMahon-Helmsley Era for me. In my opinion one of the darkest times of the WWE. It seemed to go on forever and it was stale within the first week of Raw and Smackdown.
3H has always been best in limited quantities, but we never seem to be that lucky.
Where the heck is last weeks B&W? And the SS B&W?
@Nova – Right here, I don’t know how you missed it. It’s been at the top of the page all week. [withleather.uproxx.com]
Best and worst of Summerslam is going up today, because I obviously have to write it.