Arizona's Susanne Eman is already a world record holder. She's the fattest woman in the world. Currently, the 32-year old mother of two weighs in at 728 pounds, which is roughly twice the size of the Miami Dolphins' offensive line. But she aspires to be so much more than the woman that she currently is, which is so rare and beautiful in this era. Instead of settling for the wavy curves that she's already created, Eman wants to be the entire damn ocean. Her goal? To weigh 1,600 pounds.
That's it? Why not just go for a ton if you're that hellbent on dying by 35? As for how and why she's doing it, of course The Sun has the answer.
Amazingly, her shape is a TURN-ON for some men and she models for super-size websites. Susanne, 32, said: "The bigger I get, the better I feel. I feel confident and sexy.
"Two years ago I hit 35st and noticed I had actually started attracting more men. It made me feel good. My goal is to be 57st by the end of the year. I should be 115st by age 41 or 42. "Why not see how fat I can get? I want to break the stigma that being fat is a bad thing."
Susanne, from Casa Grande, Arizona, US, spends EIGHT HOURS filling six trolleys with food during her monthly supermarket shop.
The only redeeming quality that I can take away from this is that I really miss "Supermarket Sweep." Otherwise, this is about the most depressing thing I've ever had the eerie pleasure of writing about, and I can only imagine how the starving children in Somalia would feel if they read this. Well, if they could read this. Hey, I can only solve one world problem at a time, folks.
After the jump, get to know Susanne Eman and her joy for calories with a gallery of glutton.
UPDATE: For the inside joke on Kate Upton being fat, you'll have to go back to my award-winning gallery's comment section.
(Images via The Sun, except for that Louvre-bound banner image.)
Over/under on how many dog/dinner jokes this picture invokes?
This chart explains how she does it. It is also our first glimpse at the future disease, Super Incredible Mega Diabetes.
What's the opposite of Diet Coke? That's right, it's mayonnaise cola.
Her profile image from WeighDate.com. Thanks, I'll be here all night.
Has she not heard of the Black & Decker Paintstick?
Who builds the bed? Serious question.
I'm never eating again.
Susanne and the smartest average-looking girl on Earth.
On her wheelbench.
Not pictured: The 12 other ovens.
Well, you've made it this far... are you ready for the jackpot?
BEHOLD THE THING THAT YOU FEAR MOST!
OK, OK, I'm sorry!
Not so fat now, is she?