Jim Thome is batting about .001 this season for the Twins, but he’s closing in on 600 home runs, and the one thing Thome has never been lacking is raw, monstrous cornfed power. If you didn’t see him crank #596, it was the longest and most awesome looking/sounding homer in Target Field history, going farther than the previous champ: a different Jim Thome home run. I’ll let the animated gif (with a hat tip to my good friend and associate Jon Bois) do the recapping.
Be sure to watch that gif for about twenty minutes before reading today’s Dugout. It makes the strip better, and honestly the longer you watch it the funnier it gets. After about eight minutes you expect Thome and Delmon Young to turn and look at you through your computer screen.
Today’s Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout
 | WordUpThome: /adjusts size XXXXL jersey /circles bat | |
|---|---|---|
 | DudeYerGettinADelmon: hey jim | |
| WordUpThome: HEY G | |
| WordUpThome: GUY | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: hey jim you know them ol suga daddies they be trippen they tell dem girls- | |
| WordUpThome: HOLD THAT THOUGHT I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR CANDY BUT I’VE GOT TO DESIGNATEDLY HIT FIRST | |
| WordUpThome: WAIT RIGHT THERE, BE REAL NICE, LET ME GET A HIT FOR YOU TONIGHT AN MAYBE YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU LIEK | |
| WordUpThome: YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU LIKE* | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: yehhhhh | |
| WordUpThome: /adjusts size XXXXL jersey /circles bat | |
 | FelipeMattress: /is a pitching machine, but not in the good way | |
| WordUpThome: /crushes the absolute motherf**king sh** out of a baseball | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: /
| |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | |
| WordUpThome: /robot jox his way around the bases | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: DAAAAAAAAAG homebo at home rung was longer than my DYACK byatch | |
| WordUpThome: FUN FACT, USING BASIC MATHS I HAVE DEDUCED THAT TATER IS ROPED | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: muh DYACK ya feel me | |
| WordUpThome: I WAS TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT FOR FEAR OF WHAT DYACK MIGHT MEAN | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: ay man you aight for a oafish ol fat white man | |
| WordUpThome: THANKS YOU TOO | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: ay watch what i do up necks ehhthang i do i do it big imma crush it like i crush my DYACK las night | |
| WordUpThome: WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU EVER TALKING ABOUT | |
| FelipeMattress: /throws 172nd pitch of the game | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: BOOM BITCH /grounds out to second | |
| **Online Host** The inning is over. | ||
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: lol forgot i basicly suck a muhf**k but YOU DOH, YOU DOH | |
| WordUpThome: FRIENDLIE HIGH FIVE | |
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: yee, where you thank ya ball landed son | |
| **Online Host** Meanwhile, in the Elsewhere in Minnesota Chatroom… | ||
 | LadyCop: this is the last time I’m going to say it, put your hands up and step away from the 30 foot giant metal cowboy | |
 | SteakGrowsOnDmitri: what i do what i do what i do what i do what i do what i do | |
| LadyCop: What are you doing in Nodine, Minnesota? | |
| SteakGrowsOnDmitri: lookin at a culvert man what it look like | |
| LadyCop: for what possible reason | |
| SteakGrowsOnDmitri: uhhhh | |
| LadyCop: you were trying to smoke crack out of him, weren’t you | |
| SteakGrowsOnDmitri: nah bitch you on man verse bong da new hit show on travlers channel ya feel me | |
| LadyCop: Man Versus Bong? I’ve never heard of that, and I watch the Travel Channel all the AHHHHHHH | |
| **Online Host** SteakGrowsOnDmitri is now choking the hell out of a lady cop. | ||
| SteakGrowsOnDmitri: give my regards to da jolly green giant when you see his big ass in hell | |
| SteakGrowsOnDmitri: an furthamore DERP /gets struck in the head by a falling baseball | |
| **Online Host** Back at Target Field | ||
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: i bet that maf**ka probly went in da uppa uppa deck | |
| WordUpThome: PROBLY |
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com
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Awesome cameo by LadyCop.
John Cena Gay….wait, I think I did it wrong
i do not say this lightly, but: this might be the greatest Dugout ever.
MAN VERSE BONG
I feel like Dmitri Young would actually say “an furthamore DERP” IRL.
JI
JIM THOME IS ONE OF THE MOST HARDEST HITTIN DHS IN THE LEAGUE DOH
It’s been a while since the hell got choked out of somebody. All is now right with the world.
HOLY C
HOLY COW JIM DESTROYED THAT THING
Ahhh the Young Brothers. They need their own dugout where they get up to hijinx in the Twin Cities
always in favor of an appearance by Dmithook
If we don’t get some bugles in here, we riot.
JI
JIM THOME and the advent of “man verse bong”.
I. Highly. Approve.
*marks out for LadyCop and SteakGrowsOnDmitri*
That is just frosting on the big HR-hittin’ cupcake that is JI
JIM THOME. Made my day, B. :)
THAT WAS A BIG TIME TATER.
Yes yes YUSSSSSSSS.
faaaaaantastic
DudeYerGettinADelmon: BOOM BITCH /grounds out to second
Never has a man’s career been summed up so succinctly.
So good to see Dmitri!
Higgs pretty much summed up my comment.
and it’s deep, too
I did not expect that ball to hit Dmitri.
FUN FACT, USING BASIC MATHS I HAVE DEDUCED THAT TATER IS ROPED
word up, indeed
Stroud, you can post whenever you like.
BOOM BITCH /grounds out to second
Everyone’s been there, Delmon.
it’s like the aol era never existed.
…sweet continuity…
Rat a tat tat go the sound a my bat.
Where’s Thome’s big blue ox?
@Mr. Snrub – I like the way this Snrub thinks!
YESSS! best Dugout yet! the return of Dmitri Young!!
Very nice.
Brandon, I was at yesterday’s Twins game and whilst watching the Scoreboard, I noticed the following note about Twins CF Ben Revere:
“His favorite TV show of all time is ‘The Fresh Prince’”
I took a pic with my phone, but that turned out poorly.
:D