On Sunday, Chinese sports fans from around the country flocked to Shaoyang City for what I assume is the country’s national pastime – Bee-bearding. Two men registered for the event. Two. Out of the infinity-plus-a-billion population of China, only two people had the gāowáns to stand around and let thousands of bees hang out on their skin. I totally would have flown to China and competed but I also had my pushups-while-fighting-sharks competition training this weekend, so it was a scheduling conflict.
The competitors were 42-year old Wang Dalin and 20-year old Lc Kongjiang, making this a true battle of the ages. It’s like Nolan Ryan pitching against Tim Lincecum, except if they were Chinese and covered in bees. Each competitor was fitted with a type of necklace that held a queen bee in a tiny cage, which in turn attracted all of the bees to the men. They had one hour to attract as many bees as possible as they stood on a scale, which measured their weight before and after. I’m not fully versed on the rules, but I assume there is a clause for soiled drawers.
In the end, the elder bee-beard proved champion, as he accumulated 26 kilograms of live bees, while Kongjiang was only able not scream like a woman while 22.9 kg of bees tap danced on his flesh. That means that the world record of American Mark Biancaniello (350,000 bees!) is still safe. So at least we didn’t lose to all of Asia this weekend.
UPDATE: Now with more Bumble Bee Man.
And now the standard Uproxx bee-related fare...