Novak Djokovic won his first Wimbledon title over the weekend, defeating noted anti-sleeve zealot Rafael Nadal. Immediately after winning the decisive point, he collapsed to ground and began a bonkers celebration that included him actually and for seriously eating some of the grass from Centre Court (video at Yahoo). Quoteth the Serb:

“I felt like an animal. I wanted to see how it tastes. It tastes good. It just came. I don’t know. It came spontaneously really. I didn’t plan to do it. You know, I didn’t know what to do for my excitement and joy.”

This brings me to an important point: thank God Novak Djokovic felt like a docile, grazing animal after his victory. What if he had felt like some sort of carnivore and leaped into the stands on the hunt for human flesh? Because, seriously, that quote could have been an attempted justification for that too, perhaps as part of an insanity plea. “Oh your honor, I just wanted to see how it tastes. I swear I didn’t plan it out.” Whatever, Dahmer.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: let’s just hope he doesn’t turn out to be an omnivore, or the U.S. Open could end up being a bloodbath.