Worst: Promos From the Tops of Ladders
I don’t know how many of you have been a part of an “e-fed”, but “I’m gonna sit on top of a ladder and talk” is the hackiest way to promote an upcoming ladder match ever. It’s reaching Birthday Cake In the Ring levels of critical mass. I don’t even like it when CM Punk or Chris Jericho do it, much less this concussed version of The Miz we’ve been dealing with since Wrestlemania. The only two promo I can think of more e-fed than sitting on top of a ladder is the one where your guy beats up a bunch of strangers to prove how tough he is.
Which is, uh, sorta what they did with Alberto Del Rio immediately following this.
Regardless, that video package of Shelton Benjamin killing himself with a ladder did ten times more to make wrestling fans want to see a ladder match than this weird jambalaya of increasingly sh**ty promos. I like to think that when the ladders were being set up, everyone in the match got into a single-file line backstage.
Best: Evan Bourne Redefines the Term “Hard Camera”
This is technically a “worst”, but I can’t help but smile and say “oh honey, no” whenever Evan Bourne talks. The best part isn’t what he said, but how he said it. When Jack Swagger interrupted the Miz, he talked to him, and Miz talked back. They looked at and addressed each other. Then Bourne’s music hits, and he slides into the ring like he’s going to yell at them or something, then turns and just smiles and stares into the hard camera and says he’s gonna “go Air Bourne” and win the Money in the Bank match at Money in the Bank The Pay-Per-View. It was hilarious. It was like he walked across the screen with a big PLEASE BUY ARMOUR BRAND HOT DOGS.
I wanted Kofi Kingston to just scuttle in sideways and say “AND ALSO I’M HERE”. Just kidding, I didn’t want Kofi Kingston to do anything.
Best: R-Truth Bout to Get Okeydoked By Spiders
I’m not sure what it was, but Truth taking the scenic route to his punchline about a fear of heights and the Money in the Bank briefcase being full of spiders is one of the greatest things I’ve ever heard. It was like the announcers underestimated Truth’s wit when he started (and stumbled over his words), then were shocked at how funny it was when he actually got to the joke. Chucklemonster Michael Cole actually seemed to be legitimately laughing for the first time in his life. So was I.
The Money in the Bank Briefcase gon’ get got, and if anybody gets to win it and lose immediately Mr. Anderson Kennedy style it should be Truth. He can cash it in, lose, and complain about how a contract allowing him a WWE Championship shot whenever and wherever he wanted it was part of the conspiracy against him.
Worst: A Six-Man Tag So Exciting I Left the Room Completely
I don’t even know what happened. I didn’t read about it later. Once Alberto Del Rio started getting interrupted by his own music I just hung it up and went into the computer room to see what Twitter was saying about CM Punk. In case you were wondering, they were saying he’s great.
I’m just going to assume Dolph Ziggler did a run-in here and pinned Kofi Kingston with a Zig Zag, but Kofi’s foot was under the rope, and blah blah blah