 | KaZambrano: we stinks |
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 | PujolJunkie: oh no carlo don feel e’so bad, is not so bad, joo still better than e’astros |
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| KaZambrano: great, we better than a astros, great, jus great |
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| PujolJunkie: i’m sorry i may you team feel like a gaggle of e’brad lidge, i am jus berry good at e’beisbol |
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| KaZambrano: no, is embarrassing is embarrassing for the team is embarrassing for the player for the owner for the goat is embarrassing for riggaly feel |
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| KaZambrano: is embarrassing, embarrassing is the wor for this team |
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| PujolJunkie: no i get it |
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| KaZambrano: we play like a triple-a team. see watch YEFF |
|---|
 | SamardAss: /appears from a hole in the ceiling |
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| KaZambrano: how you throw a curve ball |
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| SamardAss: as hard as you can, straight at the ground! |
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| KaZambrano: see |
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| PujolJunkie: i duno carlo our e’AAA team es pretty good i don think we’d let heff e’smart jizzer on our squadron |
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| PujolJunkie: joo play more like e’super major league’s astros |
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| KaZambrano: super major leagues, what a hell |
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| PujolJunkie: sry |
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| KaZambrano: no what |
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| PujolJunkie: sry e’super major leagues es where i play before they kick me out for having e’sympathy for mortals |
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| KaZambrano: whoa that explain a lot |
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| SamardAss: is that where Jose Bautista came from?? |
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| PujolJunkie: no; bautista gain his powerce from e’dark magicks |
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| KaZambrano: you mean drugs |
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| PujolJunkie: no |
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| PujolJunkie: well, yes |
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| | **Online Host**
MikeQuade180Pounds has entered the chatroom. |
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 | MikeQuade180Pounds: /staggers into chatroom in pajamas |
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| KaZambrano: oh gray time for another lecture on new media |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: caint sleep, ozzie guillen keeps texing me |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: did you privately say we stink, making your statement true, or did you say we stink to a reporter, making your statement false |
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| KaZambrano: we stinks! |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: ughhhhh why did i take this jobbbbb |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: they were gonna let me be shift manager at Five Guys! |
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| | **Online Host**
MikeQuade180Pounds has left the chatroom. |
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| KaZambrano: embarrassing |
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| PujolJunkie: well hey a least loopinella is looking good after e’chemo |
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| SamardAss: that’s not Sweet Lou, our manager is our house cat, we just shaved him and put a hat on his head! |
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| PujolJunkie: lol guess i shoul know this if i e’play for joo nex year |
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| KaZambrano: we can’t affor you albert, we are embarrassing, our bank accoun is completely empty. our checks have marmerduke on them. embarrassing |
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| PujolJunkie: o |
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| PujolJunkie: ok well e’swee lou was gonna give me 50 million e’year, where does he manage now |
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| SamardAss: Oakland, maybe? |
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| PujolJunkie: lol like im even gonna bother finding out |
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As With Leather’s loan Cubs fan, I should be offended. And I will be, as soon as I stop laughing. /we DO stinks //damnPujols
Ya got me at “loopinella”–that and “our checks have marmerduke on them”
Also, SamardAss and MikeQuade180Pounds are awesome screen names.
We came up with Quade’s name by using Baseball Reference to find out how much he actually weighs. Why does that resource exist?
“that’s not Sweet Lou, our manager is our house cat, we just shaved him and put a hat on his head!”
Dying over here. Pretty sure a house cat manage the Cubs to a better record.
*could manage
“SamardAss” is so much better of a handle. True story. e’yase.
“they were gonna let me be shift manager at Five Guys!”
i LOL’d. keep the Dugouts coming!
Great Dugout.
Zambrano’s argument came down to “Ryan Theriot sucks and he beat us ergo we suck.”
We all know who the real SamardAss is here
Wait, what does this have to do with Joe Rogan being a genital wart? I’m confused
I really hope you expand on this “Super Major Leagues” thing
This is why I’m glad you got on at Uproxx. Thank you for making this season less horrible. :D
Fantastic… I love the “dark magicks” = drugs reference. Or am I reading too much into that?
@Rebecca – Nope, that was absolutely intentional.
@Brandon — is someone getting flayed soon?
Mike Quade’s bit is superb.
I want to go to riggaly feel
So is PECOTA the commissioner of the Super Major Leagues or does he just play for the Super Royals (or whatever they’re called)
I just love the fact that they type with Spanish accents. Glorious!
Just noticed I wrote “loan” Cubs fan. God. I stinks at the speling.
well hey a least loopinella is looking good after e’chemo
ha bink
Jose Bautista is the Big Bad of this Dugout season.
@Higgs – shh, don’t ruin it