 | RiggleMeThisBatman: the hell are you talking about, that was easily the best movie I’ve seen all year. |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: Everything about Super 8 harks back to simpler times, the music and technology of the era evoking something nostalgic and comforting without being flippant or facetious. |
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 | HarperImage: it was gay |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: It was gay? How was it gay? |
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 | HarperImage: pish, that sh** was gay what do you want me to say |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: I wanted you to explain to me what made Super 8 gay |
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 | HarperImage: why do you even care |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: Because we’re having a conversation, and I am legitimately interested in knowing what was gay about it. |
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 | HarperImage: ok it was stupid |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: and that makes it gay |
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 | HarperImage: i didn’t like the pacing, it has pacing issues, it was badly paced |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: oh my god what does that even mean |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: Give me an example of what you’re talking about when you say "pacing issues". |
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 | HarperImage: /pretends to text |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: What about Green Lantern? That had a completely different pace, did that make Green Lantern great? |
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 | HarperImage: green lantern sucked, it had terrible graphics and blake lively cant act |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: Blake Lively can’t act, but Ryan Reynolds with green CGI abs is fine, you were okay with that but not with Blake Lively’s emotive choices in the Green Lantern movie |
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 | HarperImage: why do you care |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: How about this, tell me the best movie you’ve seen this year. |
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 | HarperImage: why |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: very best movie, all year long |
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 | HarperImage: Lol have you seen old school |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: Not a movie from this year. |
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 | HarperImage: yeah its old but funny as f**k tho, it came out before i was born |
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| | **Online Host** Welcome to the Washington Nationals Chatroom. |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: and that’s why I’m quitting, and why I’m moving to the planet f**king Mars and never looking at baseball again |
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 | SlowLerner: whatter you mean your quitting |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: did you not just hear that entire thing I said |
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 | SlowLerner: yer winnin ball matches, don’t quit |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: if I cared about winning I would’ve never taken a job managing the Washington Nationals. |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: you aren’t paying me enough to put up with this |
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 | SlowLerner: are we paying you |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: look at somebody like Mike Quade, Mike Quade is doing a great job, Mike Quade is the man I want to be |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: 14 games under .500 and farting on the bench until it smells like Bonnaroo That’s the job I signed up for |
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 | SlowLerner: you rully think this mike wade fella’s doin a good jorb |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: I know it |
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| | **Online Host** Meanwhile, in the Chicago Cubs Chatroom |
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 | AlfonsoManyChannels: F**K YOU |
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 | KaZambrano: F**K YOU |
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 | AlfonsoManyChannels: F**K YOU |
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 | KaZambrano: NO F**K YOU |
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 | AlfonsoManyChannels: F**K TO YOU |
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 | MikeQuade180Pounds: hey guys hey |
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 | MikeQuade180Pounds: sticks and stones, you know, they might break my bones but words, you know… words |
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 | KaZambrano: SORIANO YOU F**KEN STINKS |
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 | AlfonsoManyChannels: CHICAGO CAN GO F**K ITSELF WITH ASSES UP ITS C*NTS |
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 | LumberjacksKerryWood: /hears words /goes on 60-day DL |
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| | **Online Host** Back in the Nationals Chatroom |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: Mike Quade is a great manager and a fine man and I would kiss him on the mouth if, well |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: if he didn’t look like that |
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 | SlowLerner: please don’t stop your coachin, i likes it |
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 | RiggleMeThisBatman: sorry, I quit, and I’m already late for my new job: bitching on AM radio lates |
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| | **Online Host** RiggleMeThisBatman has left the chatroom. |
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 | SlowLerner: WULL… wull fine! we don’t need ya! Anybody can manage the Nats. i know! i’ll get my poopah to manage! |
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 | SlowLerner: poopah can you interim manage my ball team |
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 | Poopah: … |
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 | SlowLerner: aw i forgot im old |
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rip poopah :(
“RiggleMeThisBatman: if I cared about winning I would’ve never taken a job managing the Washington Nationals.”
/killshot
This installment should be titled “get ready to slow clap everybody”
/slow clap
Sigh, thanks for the reminder about being 14 games under .500, still laughed too much for my own good tho.
I never realized how fucking ugly Bryce Harper was. Nothing good ever happens to Washington teams. /criesselftosleep. #devastation
Hee, love this.
Wait–was that a HomestarRunner reference I saw in there?
In terms of W-L, Riggleman had his most success with the Cubs. Yes, the Cubs. The team Frank Castillo and Mickey Morandini played for.
That Cubs sequence was classic Dugout material.
If you gave me a copy of WWF ATTTITUDE for the Dreamcast and told me to create a wrestler using the following paramaters: Smarmy, Jerk, Baseball, you would definitely get Bryce Harper.
And I’d probably give him Val Venis’ moveset.
“if I cared about winning I would’ve never taken a job managing the Washington Nationals.”
I lollerskated.
Also, the Cubs bit was absolutely classic
Hilarious.
“14 games under .500 and farting on the bench until it smells like Bonnaroo”
If anything describes the Cubs season, it’s that line.
If anything describes *life*, it’s that line
The Riggles/HarperImage part made me roflcopter into some powerlines. That’s what killed poopah.
HA! The callback at the end was great
These posts are terrific.
I can only imagine how funny they’d be if there were about a sport I actually gave a shit about. Any chance you’ll keep these up for a hypothetical football season?
LumberjacksKerryWood: /hears words
/goes on 60-day DL
Every time I start to forget about this guy, the Dugout is there to remind me how glad I am that we passed on this dude.
Woohoo, consecutive Dugouts with the ‘Super 8 was a good movie’ tag! This could be the ‘food metaphors’ of With Leather.
That is a wonderful image of Ted Lerner. It looks like somebody fooled around with the skew tool in Photoshop.
“LumberjacksKerryWood: /hears words
/goes on 60-day DL”
i lol’d!