| | **Online Host**
Welcome to the Shows About Drug Addicts or Buttf**king Gladiators Chatroom! |
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 | SMiLE: we can talk about this new term, this new "battle cry" that’s uh gonna be worldwide, it’s called "got heem" |
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| SMiLE: "got him", like how regular people speak but mexican, "got heem", and it’s funny because i don’t talk like that, do you need me to explain it to you more totally not stereotyping because some of my best friends are stereotypes, isn’t that right |
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 | MichaelTehader: que |
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| SMiLE: see |
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| SMiLE: it’s sorta like when you’re talking some fun trash |
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| SMiLE: and you say SOARRY, but papa’s feeling pretty delicious right now, gonna step into the BOWX, go 3-for-4, 8 RBIs… got heem. |
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 | TimTheEnchanter: why didn’t you go 4-for-4 |
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| SMiLE: what |
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| TimTheEnchanter: you could’ve gotten more of heem if you had gone 4-for-4, if you’re saying you drove in 8 RBI you might as well say you did it on 4 hits instead of 3 |
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| SMiLE: you can’t get more or less of heem, you either get heem or you don’t, and in this hypothetical situation where I’m a viking and Chuck Norris of Cirque de Soleil is pitching for the Space Padres I GOT HEEM |
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| TimTheEnchanter: lol how much of this weed did you snort |
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| SMiLE: all of it in the world |
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| SMiLE: or it’s like a 3-1 pitch, pipin’ it down the middle, swing and a miss GOT HEEEEEEM |
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| TimTheEnchanter: you’re our closer, why did you throw this dude three balls |
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| SMiLE: i got heem, didn’t i |
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| TimTheEnchanter: yeah but still |
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| SMiLE: okay well then it’s like when you’re talking trash, and you’re all "hey tim lincecum you’re a handsome young man," but then it’s all SIKE you look like those girls in the tie-dye shirts from my 10th grade art class |
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| SMiLE: GOT HEEM |
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| TimTheEnchanter: motherf**ker |
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| TimTheEnchanter: so what, 9th inning up by a run, you walk the bases loaded but then you get a guy to pop out on the 10th pitch, got heem? |
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| SMiLE: FRIGGIN yeah got heem got heem so hard |
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 | IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: lol hey guys what’s up whatcha talkin bout |
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| TimTheEnchanter: nothing fontenot go back inside |
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| SMiLE: talkin’ bout GOT HEEM, feelin like the dick clark of the english language ushering in a brand new year of knowledge on the american bandstand of life |
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| SMiLE: formin’ a soul train line of pirates and ninjas and chucks norris, all sounding like a mexican and grabbin their junks and screamin’ GOT HEEEEEM |
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| IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: got him, like hwen i strike out GOT HIM!!! lol pulled half my groin GOT ME |
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| TimTheEnchanter: /snorts weed |
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| SMiLE: AUGH GOD DERNIT IT’S SUCH A SCRUMPTIOUS PHRASE |
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| | **Online Host**
MikeQuade180Pounds has entered the chatroom. |
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 | MikeQuade180Pounds: urr scuse me fellas, sorry to interrupt the chatter but we’ve been waiting for ’bout a half an hour on this pitching change, could we uh |
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| SMiLE: It’s like when Mike Quade shows up and it’s like, any of y’all seen the Total Recall |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: i really shouldn’t be in here |
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| IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: like when scot cousins slide into buster posey break his legs cut off his carotted artery GOT HIM lol |
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| SMiLE: no make it sound more mexican |
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| IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: goat heem!! |
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| SMiLE: /pulls switchblade the f**k did you say about buster posey |
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| IFontenotWhatYoureThinking: ARHHHHH /pulls other half of groin |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: um we’re spost to play four games today, any way we could, oh |
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| TimTheEnchanter: /gestures vaguely at Miguel Tejada |
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| MichaelTehader: /lies down on top step of dugout /rolls slowly into game |
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| MichaelTehader: /hits home run, Cubs lose again |
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| | **Online Host**
The Cubs have lost again. |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: what the I thought WE were up to bat! |
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| MikeQuade180Pounds: oh i’ll never understand this baseball thing :( |
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| SMiLE: everything in real life is adult swim now, congratulations america, your welcome |
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I’m counting the days until Brian Wilson takes off his beard and takes out his contacts and reveals that he is indeed Charlie Sheen.
I’m also figuring that the Just for Men beard and mustache commercials are going to get even more fucked up when Wilson signs on with them (and you know he will).
GOT HEEEEEM! Love it. I sing that terrible song from the 80s each time I read “IFontenotWhatYoureThinking”.
I think I speak for America when I say that it’s okay if the media wants to stop talking to Brian Wilson now. Anytime now, guys.
“SMiLE: It’s like when Mike Quade shows up and it’s like, any of y’all seen the Total Recall”
Cash.
priceless.
I’m suddenly extra glad I don’t get Showtime. Good Dugout.
See, now I thought it was Chuck Norrises. You learn something new every day.
Brian Wilson is the absolute worst. He’s like Rod Beck if Rod Beck were an asshole who was trying to hard all the time.
Also, a swing and a miss on a 3-1 count means it’s a 3-2 count, you dick. And I hope you Dave Dravecky yourself on the next pitch.
Hey guys I made a list of some people and put them in order of not funny to funny, check it out:
* Brian Wilson
* Pol Pot
* everyone else in the world
* Brandon
* the guy who made those Billy Mays dub videos, those are CLASSIC
The problem with Brian Wilson is that he is effectively one half of a comedy duo; the part with the punchlines. Making him be his own straight man is just a recipe for inanity. He’s much funnier in off the cuff interviews.
That saying as long as he doesn’t blow saves he can say whatever tired-ass Chuck Norris jokes he wants.
He is pretty much Sarah Palin with pitching talent and boyparts.
Bless hees leetle heart.
Brian Wilson is basically a living dugout character, a la Farnsworth, only he is doing it on purpose and in real life. His actual comments barely even require modification. The fact that Brandon makes him even hilarious-er is just testament to the Genius Of The Dugout. “Do you realize ninjas?”
Poor Mike Quade is going to be a staple, isn’t he? I already kinda love the guy.
@Juice – Oh, absolutely. It’s almost the end of June and I STILL can’t believe he looks like that.
a soul train line of pirates and ninjas and chucks norris, all sounding like a mexican and grabbin their junks and screamin’ GOT HEEEEEM
I want to see this, actually
Tellllll me whats on your minnnnnnd
Let’s SEO!
Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard Fear The Beard
Brian Wilson is a phony douche who desperately wants you to believe he is crazy. Go die.
I’ve been saying Gotheeeeeem since 07 when I was a freshman in college. Brian Wilson is biting on my swag no lie. Its not Gotheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem, its goteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem.
Like and Josh and Jason, I now have that shitty song by Information Society in my head after seeing Fontenot’s name.
Also, loving the Mike Quade Total Recall reference once again.
/snorts weed
I really hope there’s a Showtime cross promotion with Dexter, where he murders Brian Wilson.
That would be pretty great.
@Trent Cole Train – Yep, totally using that in a Dugout now.
IFontenotWhatYoureThinking – I had to say it out loud (little slow here) but once I got it I seriously laughed so hard coffee came out of my nose.
I bet Brian Wilson’s beard smells like fish.
FUN-NEE