… when he wore this heavily-sponsored iron-on t-shirt asking LeBron James how his “dirk” tasted. Those things include:
1. The shirt suggests that Finals MVP and “greatest player in the history of everything ever” (© last night’s sports coverage) Dirk Nowitzki is a penis.
2. Dirk Nowitzki is specifically DeShawn Stevenson’s penis. (How’s MY Dirk Taste)
3. LeBron James has engaged in a homosexual act by “tasting” Dirk Nowitzki, who (if you’ll remember) is DeShawn Stevenson’s johnson. This also makes Stevenson a homosexual, having presented his Dirk to LeBron specifically for tasting and opinions.
4. Stevenson is curious to know what LeBron James though of the taste of his penis, to the point that he would have a t-shirt made about it (note: HDNet might’ve paid for the t-shirt with the money they saved by canceling Ring of Honor).
5. The use of an exclamation point instead of a question mark makes the shirt seem less like an inquiry and more like a lighthearted nudge in the ribs. “So hey, LeBron, heh, did you taste my Dirk?”
6. DeShawn Stevenson is currently in the middle of a rap-style beef with Jay Z, LeBron’s friend. By comparing LeBron to a penis, Stevenson has opened up a world of new material for Jay Z, who works exclusively in the medium of dick comparison.
7. “Dirk” is also a Scots word for a short dagger, so the shirt could be misinterpreted as a threat to stab LeBron James with a knife.
8. He is an adult.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1245/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/grizzlies-suck-at-lay-ups-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/spiderman-basketball-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/LeBron-HS-Stats-180x180.gif)
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Actually, regarding #5, the use of the exclamation point is to get Lebron’s attention. He correctly uses a question mark after the inquiry into the taste of his dirk.
/Englishmajor’d
//shows himself out
Also interesting to note that HDNet is owned by Mark Cuban, who therefore also wants to know how Dirk tastes.
“This also makes Stevenson a homosexual, having presented his Dirk to LeBron specifically for tasting and opinions.”
It’s okay, he can put his mouth on Lebron’s “Dirk” and reverse the gay polarity.
Dude, Brandon. No homo, man.
Aww, LeBron would choke before he got halfway down it anyways.
Zing!!
face it, this is pretty funny. and to be fair, this shirt is 100 million x wittier than your response brandon, all 8 of them. that fact that stevenson manged to put a more grammatically correct statement on a t shirt than a writers posting on the intranet about said t shirt is exactly why i’m viewing this site less and less
@mathew79 – This is maybe the most random criticism of all time. I’m happy you liked his dick joke, though.
@mathew79 Intranet? Are we all on the same network? Get some call of duty?
does anyone remember when kobe won 5 then he commented to shaq who interpreted it as “how does my dick taste?”
or it was the other way around. so maybe a its a shot at kobe too. or shaq?
The shirt he’s wearing is the ones they gave away to ticket holders at every Dallas game in the Finals, and the Conference Finals, and the Semifinals. That’s why it has the sponsors on it. No one every blamed you for trying to be thorough or observant, though.
@Raws – jokes