The Comparisons
Dearest LeBron,
The biggest problem with your rise to prominence is that you face so many comparisons. For starters, as I’ve mentioned, you’re compared to Jordan for the title of Greatest of All Time. By joining the Heat, you’ve been constantly compared to Wade, because you’re both alpha dogs and probably the greatest in the game right now. You’ll always be compared to someone else because you’ve done nothing to set yourself apart from the other superstars, from hiding from your Cavs teammates and fans to hiding the Jordan Crawford video footage of him dunking on you.
Take a look at your teammates, specifically Wade and Bosh, after the Heat lost to the Mavs. Wade shook hands and congratulated his opponents. Bosh momentarily broke down crying, presumably from the intensity of his desire to win, but I believe it was also because of the pressure from the criticisms we’ve subjected him to. You walked away, shaking no hands as usual, shedding no tears, and offering us nothing more than rubbing our noses in the mistakes of our own lives.
I’ll make another comparison, more relevant than ever, because even Carmelo Anthony escaped the scrutiny you faced with the Decision. Dwight Howard announced yesterday that he will not sign his two-year extension and will test free agency at the end of the 11-12 season. He’s saying the right things to the media (“I want to have my own path, and I want to start that here in Orlando.”) and he’s hosting events in Orlando and speaking to his fans, telling them that he wants to stay. You’re right if you’re telling me that he’s conducting a smoke and mirrors act, too. But he’s not pulling the same disappearing act that you pulled by hiding from the media, fans, coaches and ownership. And even though he can’t hide because he still has one year left on his contract, he’s still pointing his finger at Rich DeVos and Otis Smith and telling everyone, “They’re the people responsible for my future.” And that’s all you ever had to do.
Is Howard selfish? Possibly. Is he throwing someone under the bus? Of course. But is Howard preparing his fans for his departure if his team cannot give him what he’s asked for? Indeed he is, and some of his fans are going to hate him for leaving, but most are going to respect him for leaving with honesty and class. Many people may never see you as honest or classy, but the least you can do for once is try.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Kate-Upton-Jersey-Model-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Sad-James-Dolan-is-Sad-180x180.jpg)
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P.S. While your aspirations to celebrityhood and your actual achievements to date are congruent with contemporary trends of people being famous for being famous, and while this may yet be another tired comparison to the previous Nike pitchman you are nakedly attempting to emulate, it is fair to say that Jordan became a global icon not only because he was talented, but he won a mess of rings. The marketing campaign followed the career path and was not an end in and of itself. What rankles with you, LeBron, is the assumption of the mantle without the accomplishment. In this, you are a king: a hereditary descendent who’s wearing someone else’s crown but has none of the victories on the battlefield of your ancestor.
Kisses,
D.A.
Rankles!
Ouch. Great article, and damned great post, Dr Awesomus.
Of course Lebron reads WL. What kind of superstar doesn’t scour Twitter and the sports blogs to take names and hold every haterrrr accountable?
When he wins the big one, like he for sure will, I guarantee the singular reflexive incorrectly comes out of his mouth more times than the first person plural.
RANKLES
Rankles? What does this have to do with pants?
Don’t forget that fucking cartoon.
I’ve come to believe, as I see LeBron Kardashian meddle int he placement of other young stars around the league, that he would prefer to be a star in Space Jam, where he could just dunk against cartoon characters, mugging for the cameras in all the right places and everyone following the script. Sports entertainment, selling sneakers, with none of the mess and bother of competition. I can only hope a new CBA takes the legs out from under a league where the players are the ones scripting the competition.
Even David Stern’s obvious memo to the refs in Game 6 wasn’t enough. Even the refs quit on LeBron and Stern’s craving for a Game 7 and Heat title. Even the refs saw that LeBron didn’t want it. We’re safe for at least one more year, but the script might be tighter next year.
“and even though he can’t hide because he still has one year left on his contract, he’s still pointing his finger at Rich DeVos and Otis Smith and telling everyone, “They’re the people responsible for my future.”
Man, I’m pretty sure I’m going to weep on the inside if Dwight Howard leaves Orlando. Especially if Gilbert Arenas and other overpaid clowns are still there.
Considering the number of Knicks and Heat fans who came out of the woodwork this season, I’d hardly call someone who’s been a fan for nearly a decade “johnny-come-lately.”
On a completely unrelated note, the porno world is highly anticipating the release of Johnny-Come-Lately, Johnny Sins’ new passion project.
Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.
Why’s this comment to Lebron James nice? And other letters to some athletes are douchebaggish? Just b/c America is obsessed with guys who balls in a hole, you have to follow them?
Every article you write about an athlete now better be nice, and not “OH this guy should just quit.”
Don’t be a bitch sheep-like follower. Be a Man.